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What to ask before getting collared? - 8/18/2013 3:57:13 PM

NastyJ

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/10/2009
From: Lyons, Ga
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I am under consideration right to a mistress for over four months before I get my collar of protection. About two mouths ago I have ask her some questions about getting collared. Questions such as the length of time of the contract, certain activities that I want to work on, safe words, service ect. Now is two months before the end of being under consideration and I have a feeling that i'm still missing some details that we have not discussed earlier. I know her for five years but this is new to me. What other kind of questions do I need to ask the mistress before the last month of being under consideration?

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RE: What to ask before getting collared? - 8/18/2013 4:04:42 PM

OvrThRainbow

Posts: 56
Joined: 1/2/2013
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What to ask her depends on what you both want from the relationship. Talk to her about it. I couldn't begin to know what she expects from you.

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RE: What to ask before getting collared? - 8/18/2013 7:46:20 PM

littlewonder

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Ask her if she's really a female?

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RE: What to ask before getting collared? - 8/18/2013 10:57:20 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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I would hope that you've covered all of these already but:

- Are we going to be monogamous to each other? What would you consider cheating?
- How much time will we spend together?
- What will a typical day look like for us? Will there be typical 'couple' activities or just service and kink?
- Do you see us eventually living together? Do you see marriage and children in our future?
- When were you last STD tested?
- How will things be adapted when one of us gets a cold or the stomach flu?
- How will our relationship change if one of us develops a more serious or long term condition?
- How much experience do you have doing that kinky activity, and how are you making it as safe as possible?
- Do you like active/anticipatory service or do you want me to act only on your orders?
- Do you wish to control my friendships/career/bank account/medical decisions?
- What happens if a certain rule isn't working? How will we work together to fix it?
- How shall I tell you if something is worrying me or making me unhappy?
- Was this contract written specifically with me in mind or is it a generic one? Can we go through it point by point and make sure we are on the same page?
- Do you intend to use a punishment dynamic? What form will punishment take? Will there be warnings? Will I be punished for forgetfulness or things beyond my control?
- Do you intend for us to be active in the community? Will this involve playing with others?
- What happens if you get pregnant?
- What birth control options will we be using?

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RE: What to ask before getting collared? - 8/19/2013 6:26:10 PM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Actually, you've got it backward. It isn't what questions you still need to ask. If you don't already know each other well enough that all those questions have been discussed, then you shouldn't commit.

Unless it's just for a fwb relationship, at which point the questions are limited to play only.

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RE: What to ask before getting collared? - 8/19/2013 8:37:29 PM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyJ

What other kind of questions do I need to ask the mistress before the last month of being under consideration?

You say that you've known her for 5 years. So if you have to ask us this question, then you're probably not ready to be collared.

Think of collaring like getting married. Before you do it, you should already know one another very well. You should have already agreed upon the core principles that will govern the relationship. And there should be a solid foundation of trust and communication that is the basis of the relationship.

Good luck to you.
-Roch

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