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how to write add - 8/19/2013 9:59:56 PM   
sml53


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		how do i write an add,i dont seem to be getting much results when i answer one.i dont know why,maybe because of my description of myself and my interest.can you help?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how to write add - 8/19/2013 10:14:00 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		First of all, it's an ad....not an add.

If you truly want to write an add...you would want to do two or more of something.

Now...as to writing an ad (assuming that was your goal)...the first goal would be....to learn English, and to use it efficiently and effectively.

That set aside....you would want to find out what the potential buyers of your goods were interested in (note....I didn't say "what {you} want to sell them").

A seller (advertiser) doesn't actually sell anything....they provide what the buyer is looking to purchase....and they assist them in the process.

That, in a nutshell, is how to write an "add".




(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: how to write add - 8/20/2013 2:27:19 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hello. I realize I'm a male Dom, so I'm outside the normal femdom dynamic, but I'll give it a shot.

The good news: there's a lot. You're pretty handsome, and you're at a good age where lots of 40something and 50something women are attracted to. You seem honest and sincere, and your Friends list is composed of women that are local to you and age-appropriate. (Some men have slews of 20something hot chicks as Friends who have nothing in common with them.)

The bad news: your profile needs a lot of work if you're going to be using online to meet women.

Your main pic is odd - why did you select a pic of you sideways over the pic of you sitting on a couch? Also, there's no way you could have that physique if you just sat on couches all day - show yourself doing things. Riding motorcycles, plying fetch with your dog, dressed up for a night on the town, playing an instrument, saving kittens from a fire - you get the idea.

Same with the profile text. It basically says "I'm a male submissive." When you're with a Domme, your relationship will be 5% kink and 95% vanilla, so you need to show women what that 95% of you is like. Say something like "I've been a motorcycle mechanic since I was 20. There's something I love about getting pieces of metal to fly fast. In my spare time, I like to go fishing. If you come with me, I'll even bait your hook for you."

Have you been to Houston area events? Here are some links for you:

https://fetlife.com/groups/9514

https://fetlife.com/groups/1036

https://fetlife.com/groups/29137

https://fetlife.com/groups/7960

https://fetlife.com/groups/52910



_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: how to write add - 8/20/2013 3:06:47 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		DarkSteven gave good advice.

I see a guitar in the background in the second photo. See if you can dig out a picture of you actually playing it (assuming that it is yours). That's a double win - it shows you have interests beyond kink, and it's a conversation starter because I know I can talk about music and/or instruments. Any sort of outdoors photo is good too - standing or running/climbing will show off your body shape better and again, makes you look interesting.

It seems counter-intuitive, but you don't need to mention kink all that much in a profile. Since you're on the site, we know that you're into BDSM or D/s. Your basic stats tell us you're a male sub. What will make you stand out from all the others is the other parts of your personality - interests, traits, skills etc.

I always think it works well to have three or four short paragraphs. Number 1 tells us a bit about you. For example:

'Hi I'm Bob. By day I'm a tough construction worker, but I'm soft at heart. I love war novels and country music. My job keeps me fit which helps me to enjoy my occasional hiking trips and golf games. I have a good sense of humour and I'm equally happy spending my Saturday evenings at a big party or having a cosy night in.'

So now I know who you are - I have some idea whether we'd have anything to talk about.
Number 2 tells what type of person you would like to find:

'I'd love to meet a woman close to my own age who shares my passion for music and is open to adventure. My ideal woman would be a social butterfly because I like to spend time with friends often, and join in with the local community.'

Anything important that would be a deal breaker needs to go in here. Needs to be a non-smoker, like dogs and be over 45? Put it in here, but remember that if most of your criteria are physical a lot of women will be put off.

What type of relationship?

'I'm hoping to find a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship in which the woman wears the pants and is in charge in all areas of our lives, though I don't think I would do well with someone who likes to micromanage. I'd like us to take our time getting to know each other and building a strong foundation with the eventual aim of living together. I'm particularly interested in foot worship and rope bondage and would like to find someone to explore this with me.'

So now I know whether we are looking for the same sort of thing. It's ok to mention your kinks but don't go into graphic detail or include a huge list - there's time for that when you're chatting.

Then, if needed a final paragraph to convey any other important information - use your imagination here, but again, not too heavy on the sex/kink and not too long.

But, a big part of the problem is simply that there are a lot more male subs on site that female dominants - you will need to be proactive and accept the numbers aren't in your favour. It's not always personal if you don't get a response. A thoughtful message which shows interest in her personality and gives her a conversation starter will help. Do check out those local events - numbers will be less skewed in the flesh.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: how to write add - 8/20/2013 4:04:48 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR

I sometime think that people write profiles with half an idea that they're writing application forms. I think it might work better if profiles were written a bit more in the tone and style of someone meeting someone else at a party for the first time. For instance, a bit of humour doesn't go amiss . . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: how to write add - 8/20/2013 4:26:42 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

I sometime think that people write profiles with half an idea that they're writing application forms. I think it might work better if profiles were written a bit more in the tone and style of someone meeting someone else at a party for the first time. For instance, a bit of humour doesn't go amiss . . . .


Humour is a huge plus in a profile, but not everyone finds that easy to put across in the sort of one-sided conversation that makes up a profile text. Most people who come here looking for help have very little profile at all, or one that is entirely focused on sex. Listing your hobbies and what kind of relationship you want is something most everyone should be able to do and will make a big difference. Being funny isn't really something you can teach people how to do.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: how to write add - 8/20/2013 7:30:28 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

First of all, it's an ad....not an add.



Don't be so mean, Lookie!

I haven't looked at his profile yet, but based on the way he writes, I think English may be a second (or third) language for the OP. Could you do as well as him if you were writing in Spanish or French?

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: how to write add - 8/20/2013 3:48:16 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hello. I realize I'm a male Dom, so I'm outside the normal femdom dynamic, but I'll give it a shot.

The good news: there's a lot. You're pretty handsome, and you're at a good age where lots of 40something and 50something women are attracted to. You seem honest and sincere, and your Friends list is composed of women that are local to you and age-appropriate. (Some men have slews of 20something hot chicks as Friends who have nothing in common with them.)

The bad news: your profile needs a lot of work if you're going to be using online to meet women.

Your main pic is odd - why did you select a pic of you sideways over the pic of you sitting on a couch? Also, there's no way you could have that physique if you just sat on couches all day - show yourself doing things. Riding motorcycles, plying fetch with your dog, dressed up for a night on the town, playing an instrument, saving kittens from a fire - you get the idea.

Same with the profile text. It basically says "I'm a male submissive." When you're with a Domme, your relationship will be 5% kink and 95% vanilla, so you need to show women what that 95% of you is like. Say something like "I've been a motorcycle mechanic since I was 20. There's something I love about getting pieces of metal to fly fast. In my spare time, I like to go fishing. If you come with me, I'll even bait your hook for you."

Have you been to Houston area events? Here are some links for you:

https://fetlife.com/groups/9514

https://fetlife.com/groups/1036

https://fetlife.com/groups/29137

https://fetlife.com/groups/7960

https://fetlife.com/groups/52910




Awesome advice!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: how to write add - 8/20/2013 3:49:33 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

First of all, it's an ad....not an add.



Don't be so mean, Lookie!

I haven't looked at his profile yet, but based on the way he writes, I think English may be a second (or third) language for the OP. Could you do as well as him if you were writing in Spanish or French?



Probably not.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: how to write add - 8/25/2013 8:46:09 PM   
sml53


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		whats the diff likely not of meeting anyone here.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: how to write add - 8/25/2013 11:09:12 PM   
SerWhiteTiger


Posts: 437
Joined: 8/12/2013
From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
Status: offline 		Start with basic punctuation and capitalization.

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: how to write add - 8/25/2013 11:10:24 PM   
SerWhiteTiger


Posts: 437
Joined: 8/12/2013
From: Why is my name Florida? That's a state!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

First of all, it's an ad....not an add.



Don't be so mean, Lookie!

I haven't looked at his profile yet, but based on the way he writes, I think English may be a second (or third) language for the OP. Could you do as well as him if you were writing in Spanish or French?


People for whom English is a second language generally do better at basic punctuation and capitalization, not worse.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: how to write add - 8/28/2013 5:42:34 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sml53

whats the diff likely not of meeting anyone here.



OP, if you have difficulty making significant connections outside the lifestyle, that will not change just because a woman is kinky.

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: how to write add - 8/28/2013 6:27:41 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sml53
whats the diff likely not of meeting anyone here.

The negativity won't help.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how to write add - 8/28/2013 6:54:08 PM   
metamorfosis


Posts: 1132
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sml53
how do i write an add,i dont seem to be getting much results when i answer one.i dont know why,maybe because of my description of myself and my interest.can you help?


Your spelling and punctuation are very bad. Your profile picture is cockeyed. More than that, your profile reads like pure fantasy. You come across as simple and uneducated, and the responses you're getting reflect this.

_____________________________

Pam (aka gungadin09)

Forum Freak

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: how to write add - 8/30/2013 7:35:31 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: sml53
whats the diff likely not of meeting anyone here.

The negativity won't help.




I sit corrected.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how to write add - 8/31/2013 12:04:21 PM   
sml53


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ok some of you are very nice others could use a good whipping for being so rude.lol

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: how to write add - 8/31/2013 1:33:35 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sml53

Ok some of you are very nice others could use a good whipping for being so rude.lol



I don't think people were rude at all. You asked a question on how to improve your profile, would it be better for them not to have answered you or lied to you? Plus, you were the rude one, you took none of the suggestions offered, then why did you ask and waste everyone's time?

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how to write add - 8/31/2013 2:57:19 PM   
sml53


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I beg your pardon but i have rewritten my add,and some were very rude,others were very nice.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how to write add - 8/31/2013 4:52:45 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sml53

I beg your pardon but i have rewritten my add,and some were very rude,others were very nice.



Quite honestly, I can not tell that the profile was rewritten. Based on the advice you got, you didn't seem to take any of it because your profile is in very rough shape and only mentions sex and kink, which is directly in opposition to the comments you got. I guess people should have saved their time.

I still don't see the rudeness you are talking about, I thought people were honest - that's not necessarily rude. If you took it that way, then you quite possible missed out on some good advice.

(in reply to sml53)
Profile   Post #: 20
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