RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (Full Version)

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Arturas -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/6/2013 9:11:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

OP, you sound smart enough not to listen to the bad advice about overwhelming your friend.

When I met some dominant men in the past, sometimes the smallest gesture was enough to trigger something.

One time, I met someone for a first date, dinner. We talked about everything BUT D/s.

He did small things at dinner, like take my wrist and just hold it.

When we left, he kissed me at my car and just held my hair really hard and pulled it slightly.


THIS is overwhelming a submissive. He is in control the whole time. He does not avoid "going for it" even if it is simply using a small gesture, but he does overwhelm her with that gesture.




Arturas -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/6/2013 9:23:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

You guys are talking past each other. Arturas isn't saying to beat the crap out of her or to browbeat her into submission, he's simply saying to be a Dom and that in being a Dom, she will be overwhelmed by how manly and awesome you are, because hey, male Doms are pretty manly and awesome and overwhelming. Y'all are reading way more into his words than what he was trying to say IMO, and then he is responding to the responses and it's pure chaos. Everyone stop and take a breath.

Basic courteous interaction with an actual male Dom can be quite overwhelming to many a female sub.

On the other hand, no, don't beat her black and blue. Duh.



We have more experience with Artie than you do and we have seen posts about his philosophies. I could post some previous threads that would give more insight, but at this point, the OP is asking a good question and has already come to his own conclusion about Artie's post.



I don't know who "we" are you mention and don't care. But "we" know "Basic courteous interaction with an actual male Dom" is indeed overwhelming to many a female sub.

Great advice, not to "beat her black and blue'. Duh for sure. Except, did you know that marks are indeed black and blue and a little green the next morning and that subs who like marks are proud of them? Duh.




Arturas -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/6/2013 9:33:22 PM)

quote:

Dominants also can differentiate between what it is to dominate someone and being dominant. Guess what? Spelling counts because the meaning of the entire word changes. Know the difference and don't be dismissive when someone tries to correct you. You can dominate a submissive, you do not dominant them. You are a dominant, you are not a dominate. It is fine if you cannot see the difference, everyone else can and it speaks volumes about who and what you are.


Or in short, correctly using dominant and dominate in a forum post is critical to being a real Dom and if I don't realize the truth of this then my credibility is shot and my years of training, my genes and my success at this is all for naught.

Thanks for clearing this up. I will sell my tools on ebay now. Cast star off and burn my black outfits and quit working out. Thanks again. It is good we had this talk so you could teach me the truth of things.




Arturas -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/6/2013 9:44:00 PM)

quote:

Do you think this is the best, ....? I don't. Overwhelm might mean anything from spanking with a hairbrush to hanging her from her tits from a skyscraper crane...


Not to a Dom. Do you actually believe Doms "overwhelm" with physical actions as you outlined? Do you believe I "overwhelmed" star with physical actions, outside of knowing how and when and exactly the right direction to pull her hair of course? Where did you read that?




Arturas -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/6/2013 10:06:10 PM)

FR. I regret not getting back to the party sooner and hope no one feels as if I were ignoring their questions or responses to me. Sometimes I feel like I should not post since I cannot spend enough time on here to reply in a decent time span always, but then I realize you all understand, I am sure of it.

Final word about overwhelming and "going for it". As you may know, star and I met here on CM back in 2008 or 2009 (she says 2008) and soon afterward I had the opportunity to overwhelme her over dinner on our first face to face just by being the guy she was looking for, using the honest and earnest gesture and smile and the way I enjoyed buying her kids ice cream across the road from the diner we had our first date in. No "hair brush beatings" or "hanging her from sky scrapers" and very soon then we became a real time Dom and submissive pair soon even spending time at the local club in Nashville as a couple and then moving on to a 24/7 relationship here at our home together and now having our first child together. I pray always I will continue to "overwhelm" star as we grow old together just as she overwhelms me just as submissive women can their Doms. You see, Dom's are also "overwhelmed" by that special submissive woman.

Well wishes.
Arturas and star




theshytype -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/6/2013 10:37:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

OP, you sound smart enough not to listen to the bad advice about overwhelming your friend.

When I met some dominant men in the past, sometimes the smallest gesture was enough to trigger something.

One time, I met someone for a first date, dinner. We talked about everything BUT D/s.

He did small things at dinner, like take my wrist and just hold it.

When we left, he kissed me at my car and just held my hair really hard and pulled it slightly.

While I did not know if I felt chemistry at dinner, I started to feel it then because he was using finesse instead of outright "on your knees bitch", which came much later once I got to know him.

Now, I was an experienced sub, but this advice applies since you are always a new sub to someone new.

Sometimes, being dominant is a whisper rather than yelling.




OP, the above is far from overwhelming to me. But, for me, it would depend on the person. If the chemistry wasn't there, I'd be a little creeped out if someone even tried little things. Since you've already met a few times, I'm assuming that connection is there.

I can only speak for myself, but patience is a huge turn-on for me. The little things (like the ones sexyred mentioned) build up, making me want the bigger things. If he takes his time, exerting extreme control in himself, it drives me wild. That's when I am most compliant, so eager.
My husband still does this at times.

Another vote here for communication and going slow.




LittleGirlHeart -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/7/2013 11:10:49 AM)

Well first of all to do that you'd need to know it's a Dominant not dominate.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

, so be Dominate or instead be not and




Kana -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/7/2013 12:20:32 PM)

Oh no. You have fallen for one of the more common internet misperceptions, LGH.
It is A Dominate.

One becomes a, or perhaps The "'Weal Twue Dominate"' by being unrelentingly dominant, 24/7/365, for an extended period of time, as in 5 years or so, kinda like dominant boot camp Bruce Wayne learning from Ra's Al Ghul style, until one is not only utterly dominant with each thought, but transcends the waking consciousness and even dreams in dominance. The very actions become statements of control, authority, unrelenting sternness and of course, masculinity.

Wimmens cannot help but react to this instinctually. The thought of Him leaves them lightheaded. Close proximity results in knees bruised from knocking together, nipples painful from intense erection and drooling from the pheromonal high he transmits. A glance results in rolling eyes,glazed expressions, puddle pussies, rectums doing goldfish gaping in need of his use. His touch,of course, is divinity on earth, leaving her perpetually locked under the spell of his maleficent gaze. Needless to say, she is far to spellbound to think,much less vocalize, instead stuck dumb by His Hisness.

In a manner akin to Red Dragon's becoming, at some point along the line, The Weal Dominate's own metabolism will actually begin to manufacture leather chaps, much like a lobster grows it's own shell.

At this juncture, they pierce the veil of relativity and actions as bound by the laws of physics that limits mere mortals such as myself, until they do not become dominance, but dominance becomes them-it is in their every move, look, thought, aspect, value, moral and fiber-they quite literally ooze pheremonal dominance from their every pore.

Having achieved the Godhead, they are no longer engaging in an activity-say, dominance.
Instead, they have actualized the ideal, and in doing so, become it-thus they are "dominates"

It's all very zen. I probably didn't explain it very well.
But I am only an egg, and grok little. I shall have to contemplate on how better to express a concept I understand poorly at best while striving to hear the sound between raindrops whilst sipping cha from an empty cup.




LittleGirlHeart -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/7/2013 12:33:03 PM)

Well played , well played dear Wattson!

I LOL'ed in real life at that.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Oh no. You have fallen for one of the more common internet misperceptions, LGH.
It is A Dominate.

One becomes a, or perhaps The "'Weal Twue Dominate"' by being unrelentingly dominant, 24/7/365, for an extended period of time, as in 5 years or so, kinda like dominant boot camp Bruce Wayne learning from Ra's Al Ghul style, until one is not only utterly dominant with each thought, but transcends the waking consciousness and even dreams in dominance. The very actions become statements of control, authority, unrelenting sternness and of course, masculinity.

Wimmens cannot help but react to this instinctually. The thought of Him leaves them lightheaded. Close proximity results in knees bruised from knocking together, nipples painful from intense erection and drooling from the pheromonal high he transmits. A glance results in rolling eyes,glazed expressions, puddle pussies, rectums doing goldfish gaping in need of his use. His touch,of course, is divinity on earth, leaving her perpetually locked under the spell of his maleficent gaze. Needless to say, she is far to spellbound to think,much less vocalize, instead stuck dumb by His Hisness.

In a manner akin to Red Dragon's becoming, at some point along the line, The Weal Dominate's own metabolism will actually begin to manufacture leather chaps, much like a lobster grows it's own shell.

At this juncture, they pierce the veil of relativity and actions as bound by the laws of physics that limits mere mortals such as myself, until they do not become dominance, but dominance becomes them-it is in their every move, look, thought, aspect, value, moral and fiber-they quite literally ooze pheremonal dominance from their every pore.

Having achieved the Godhead, they are no longer engaging in an activity-say, dominance.
Instead, they have actualized the ideal, and in doing so, become it-thus they are "dominates"

It's all very zen. I probably didn't explain it very well.
But I am only an egg, and grok little. I shall have to contemplate on how better to express a concept I understand poorly at best while striving to hear the sound between raindrops whilst sipping cha from an empty cup.

quote:

rooling from the pheromonal high he transmits. A glance results in rolling eyes,glazed expressions, puddle pussies, rectums doing goldfish gaping in need of his use.




JeffBC -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/7/2013 2:19:39 PM)

Gold Kana... pure gold.




sunshinemiss -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/7/2013 3:17:32 PM)

Sunny Quote of the Day
goes to
TieMeInKnottss
for
had I been around
in caveman days..
I would constantly just
be running from the cave
so I could be dragged back..

[sm=afraid.gif]


http://www.collarchat.com/m_4526991/mpage_2/tm.htm




sunshinemiss -> RE: Breaking in a completely beginner submissive? (9/7/2013 3:26:12 PM)

Kana, babe...
[sm=yourock.gif]




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