It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (Full Version)

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polaranda -> It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 2:42:39 PM)

Where would a new sub go to find a domme in the houston area? The pool of dominant women is quite short on here.



AAkasha -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 2:44:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: polaranda

Where would a new sub go to find a domme in the houston area? The pool of dominant women is quite short on here.



How long have you been swimming around there?

Expand your parameters. Keep an open mind. Change your perspective a little. Be patient. Also, try fetlife too.

Akasha



Shoedaddy -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 3:17:36 PM)

www.maxfisch.com You can sort by state if you click on U.S. Dominas.



LadyPact -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 3:32:58 PM)

You've got a ClubFEM chapter in that town. That's where I would be going.



HarryVanWinkle -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 4:12:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You've got a ClubFEM chapter in that town. That's where I would be going.



Was it not, in fact, the original chapter of ClubFEM? If not, it wasn't far behind.

@polaranda: The best place to meet dominant women in Houston or any other large American city is in the local BDSM community. Use your computer to find out what events are coming up there, then go.



DesFIP -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 4:59:08 PM)

There are at least 10 male subs to every female dominant. With that said, your profile doesn't offer anything to get enthused about. You talk about what you haven't done play/sex speaking.

You don't talk about what you do like. What you enjoy in life. Not sexual stuff. Because no matter what you see in porn, subs are not restrained and teased all day long. A potential partner is more likely to want you to watch True Blood with her than to interrupt her by coming out dressed in a costume and pouting that she hasn't played with you in 12 hours.

Approach them as people. Talk about nonsexual things you have in common. Ask questions. But keep it under 7 sentences for a first email.
And spelling and grammar counts, so if you aren't good at it, do it in Word first and copy it over. Otherwise you come across as lazy, and that's not what you want a first impression to do.



HarryVanWinkle -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 5:24:56 PM)

quote:

There are at least 10 male subs to every female dominant. With that said, your profile doesn't offer anything to get enthused about. You talk about what you haven't done play/sex speaking.


You know, I keep hearing this, but have never seen any evidence to support it in the real time BDSM community. I have been to more than a couple of ClubFEM events, different cities, at which the women outnumbered the men. I have never been to a ClubFEM event at which the men outnumbered the women by a ratio of 2/1 or more.



StrictlyADomina -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 6:39:19 PM)

@HarryVan Winkle- yeppers you nailed it square on. The balance at the two clubs I attend DFW ClubFem is about 50/50 and the Jackson, MS WICKED is heavier to the female side. There was an entire discussion on fetlife about the 10/1 myth. The "bottom" line is guys don't show to club events in the numbers you might think they would. A variety of reasons were cited from social anxiety to "there are many wankers on the sites who talk a good game".

So, yes definitely go to a munch or two and a play party. Joining fetlife is a great idea since many groups post their activities there.

If you think that you are going to find "THE ONE" you might be in for a disappointment. You could find her, but the odds are that you will have a good time, make some new friends and learn a thing or two. Making yourself handy getting beverages, offering to throw away an empty cup she might have, offering to escort ladies safely to their vehicles and offers to help carry their bags are good ways to break the ice and show you enjoy a little service and are a gentleman.

That's what we are looking for, a gentleman first and a play mate second. Why many submissive/slave males don't know that is a mystery to me.

Good Luck
Strictly A Domina



DarkSteven -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/21/2013 7:21:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictlyADomina
There was an entire discussion on fetlife about the 10/1 myth.


Yeah, I've never bought into it for two reasons:

1. The ratio is much closer to 1:1 at events, as opposed to online.
2. The "male subs" are primarily bedroom submissives and do-me subs.
3. The pool of male subs is large but shallow. In other words, high quantity but low quality. A male sub that coan hold a conversation is a prized commodity.



polaranda -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/22/2013 4:15:40 AM)

Thank you all. This is helpful. What a great community!



kalikshama -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/22/2013 2:10:33 PM)

quote:

There was an entire discussion on fetlife about the 10/1 myth.


Link me?




kalikshama -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/22/2013 2:12:03 PM)

quote:

1. The ratio is much closer to 1:1 at events, as opposed to online.


Ya, I always thought 10:1 referred to online only, but this may be influenced by me never noticing a gender imbalance at events.



StrictlyADomina -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/22/2013 3:04:38 PM)

@ kalikshama - consider your self linked. ;-)
https://fetlife.com/groups/42/group_posts/1174136 Topic: Why dont male subs attend events? In the: "Submissive men and women who love them" group So far 342 posts and growing.





OsideGirl -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/22/2013 3:12:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictlyADomina
There was an entire discussion on fetlife about the 10/1 myth.


Yeah, I've never bought into it for two reasons:

1. The ratio is much closer to 1:1 at events, as opposed to online.


In the LA community (OC, LA, Inland Empire) attendance the socials/lectures/SMUs pretty much always hit the 10:1 mark. I come to that number by removing the couples (because they're not single) and then counting the number of single females vs single males.

At the parties it would be pretty much 1:1 because most come as a couple.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/23/2013 6:07:45 AM)

I don't know if you've joined Fetlife yet, but I just took a quick look over there, and there are 15,059 kinksters from the Houston area who belong to Fetlife. There are also 36 upcoming events listed, and there 289 groups related to Houston.

I strongly recommend that you attend one of those 36 events. Communicating with people on-line is okay, but you'll learn so much more if you actually attend a few seminars/workshops and play parties. Of course, you'll probably have to be screened at a munch before you're allowed to attend any of the more interesting events.

BTW, I think someone recommended MaxFisch. I would add one caveat to that recommendation. MaxFisch is primarily for people who are seeking pro Dommes. But not everyone wants a pro. So if you aren't looking for a pro, then MaxFisch may not be the place for you.



kalikshama -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/23/2013 8:25:04 AM)

quote:

**** kalikshama - consider your self linked. ;-)
https://fetlife.com/groups/42/group_posts/1174136 Topic: Why dont male subs attend events? In the: "Submissive men and women who love them" group So far 342 posts and growing.


Thanks!

I read about a page and that was all I could take of white text on black background. (I am aware of the workarounds, and don't like them either.)



MissImmortalPain -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/24/2013 12:20:26 AM)

Dallas. If you can't find what you are looking for in Dallas you aren't looking very hard.



SerWhiteTiger -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/24/2013 12:34:20 AM)

The ratio of horny men who will say anything to convince you to help them get off and think that all of this is just about women being slutty and kinky to actual living females who aren't just trying to make a buck is about 50,000 to 1 on this website.

Hmm, run-on sentence. Oh well.

Regardless, this is not a good place for newbie males to meet people. Go to some munches, socialize and make friends.



SerWhiteTiger -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/24/2013 12:52:51 AM)

Hmm, apparently I need to stop using fast reply on this site. It claims I'm replying to the wrong person! Quite vexing. Should default to OP IMO rather than the last post.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: It seems that the pool of dommes in Houston is few. (8/24/2013 3:13:13 PM)

Seems like a great time to move to a place that isn't at all Houston.

(Just a gut feel).



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