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Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 5:22:32 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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Status: offline 		There was a little girl kidnapped about 10 minutes from us, in the next town over and her body was found yesterday afternoon. Both are tiny towns and there is a lot of the family here. It is so sad, I can almost feel the grief hanging in the air. So many people either know or is related to the little girl, not to mention how awful it is that she was murdered like this. I debated about telling my 8 year old about this stuff, she is already so fearful, but I decided that the first time she was out playing someone would say something so I had better tell her. She cried and then said she was scared. I told her the man that hurt the little girl was in jail but still she is scared. I am sure it will just take time. I feel kind of guilty, for us we just need some time. For a rather large family there will be no going back to normal, you just do not get over the murder of your child. :(
Good thing I told her myself, my suspicions were correct and the kids started talking about it in art class, so the teachers talked to them about never getting into a car without asking, even if you know them. I can't imagine how upset she would have been if that was the first she heard about it.

http://www.ky3.com/news/ky3-searchers-find-adriaunna-hortons-body-20130821,0,1606332.story


< Message edited by Moonlightmaddnes -- 8/22/2013 5:23:25 PM >

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 6:28:48 PM   
littlewonder


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Status: offline 		I'm not so sure I would have told my daughter something like that at such a young age unless the girl was a friend or someone in her school class. Otherwise I would feel that she should stay a child at that young an age and they don't really understand the gravity of the situation. They may be scared for a few days but then time goes by and they have already forgotten about it...unless like I said, she knew the girl in some way.

It was hard enough to tell my daughter that her daddy was never coming home at the age of 4. If there would have been a way for me not to tell her, I wouldn't have told her.


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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 6:50:05 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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Status: offline 		I normally dont tell her but I knew other kids would be talking about it. Turns out not only the kids but the adults at school told all the kids and turned it into a lesson about not going off with anyone.

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 7:47:20 PM   
DesFIP


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Status: offline 		The school doesn't invite local therapists in to help the class talk out their feelings? If not, they should. It shouldn't just be factual how to be safe lectures, these kids need their feelings addressed.

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 8:24:33 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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Status: offline 		Not that I am aware of which is surprising. Even though it was in the next town over it was only a few minutes from us and many of the children in our town knew this little girl. That is how I knew kids would be talking about it. My daughter only goes to the public school part time but the only discussion I am aware of is the principal and the teachers getting the children together telling them to never get in a car without asking mom or dad.

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 8:42:29 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


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Status: offline 		I don't know what they do nowadays, but from when I was really little, like kindergarten and upward, they had a really heavy campaign in school and on TV about not getting into cars with anyone but your parent, not trusting strangers, not walking home alone, etc. Perhaps I'm missing the commercials, but I don't see it anymore.

KNOWING that crimes can happen to kids (without the DETAILS please) is somewhat beneficial. Kids need to know there IS an actual danger, otherwise they just think adults are being overly zealous with the rules (yeah, Mom, whatEVER!) and don't take the warnings too seriously. They shouldn't live in TERROR, but they need to know what situations to be ALERT for (unfamiliar cars patrolling the neighborhood, strangers trying to talk to them) in order to make wise decisions about their own safety. Some kids are naturally naïve and stuck in their own little universes, drifting about their day with a false sense of security unaware of dangers in their surroundings. Hiding the dangers of real life does them no service except to give them peaceful sleep for the time being. keeping them in the dark might make them FEEL safer, but it certainly doesn't PROTECT them.

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 8:53:30 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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Status: offline 		Yep I don't hear that either, until now. Now parents are telling their children to not get in cars with anyone. My daughter already knew not to get in anyones car or go in their house. She argued about it a few times but now she says she knows it's to keep her safe.

Nancy Grace was talking about this guys criminal history. I am always telling people to know who they are allowing around their children. Yeah I am paranoid when it comes to my kids. I do not let them go into homes unless I really know the parents well. A few years back Rowan Ford paid the price for her mother letting trash around her daughter. I felt horrible for the mother but told people let that be a lesson to be careful where your children play and who they are around.
http://www.hlntv.com/video/2013/08/21/adriaunna-horton-missing-12-year-old-abducted-body-found-suspect-arrested

< Message edited by Moonlightmaddnes -- 8/22/2013 8:58:08 PM >

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 9:11:18 PM   
tj444


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Status: offline 		the biggest problem is that the child (& father) knew her abductor.. I think its harder for kids to see someone they know as someone to be afraid of (unless he has already done something to instill fear already).. And in addition to that, the father knew him also, would the parents if asked, actually say no? In hindsight its easy to say don't do this or that, but at the time its not necessarily going to set off alarm bells right away, it may, it may not.. Look at the kidnapping in CA.. the Anderson girl, she was kidnapped by a close family friend, he was like her uncle.. in her case, she was 16 and did start to see him as someone that made her uncomfortable.. but she didn't tell her family how she felt..

"The friends said Adriaunna left with Bourne because Bourne said he needed her help to find his daughter, with whom Adraunna had played in the past. Horton's father says Bourne once worked for him"

Some people think small towns are so safe & idyllic, they really aren't, imo.. I grew up in one, population 500..

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 9:13:03 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes

Yep I don't hear that either, until now. Now parents are telling their children to not get in cars with anyone. My daughter already knew not to get in anyones car or go in their house. She argued about it a few times but now she says she knows it's to keep her safe.

Nancy Grace was talking about this guys criminal history. I am always telling people to know who they are allowing around their children. Yeah I am paranoid when it comes to my kids. I do not let them go into homes unless I really know the parents well. A few years back Rowan Ford paid the price for her mother letting trash around her daughter. I felt horrible for the mother but told people let that be a lesson to be careful where your children play and who they are around.
http://www.hlntv.com/video/2013/08/21/adriaunna-horton-missing-12-year-old-abducted-body-found-suspect-arrested


See? The *ARGUMENT* is what I'm talking about. We were all kids once and know that kids hear so many rules from parents, they get resentful and stop listening, especially to ones they think are "unnecessary", hence My reason for making the point "they need to KNOW".

As for "not getting into cars"...often that's not enough, since a grown man can jump out of a car, outrun and overpower a kid who is much smaller than him, drag her/him into the car and drive off unhindered. Sometimes this even happens with the kid's friends or siblings present. (one guy actually followed kids up a long driveway in order to grab a girl). If an unfamiliar car stops nearby, create some distance QUICKLY. Don't wait to see what the stranger is going to do.

I don't think you were being paranoid. Hell, I'm all for kids being equipped with tracking devices up to a certain age so parents always know where they are.

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/22/2013 10:05:19 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444



Some people think small towns are so safe & idyllic, they really aren't, imo.. I grew up in one, population 500..



Oh yes I know, This is a town of about a thousand and we see some scary people here. I always say at least I am pretty sure of the people to avoid. I have a rather interesting house across the street. I was told it was a drug house but after living here for a couple of years I am more inclined to think he is a very lonely old man and the drunks and drug addicts take advantage and hang out there. He is never the one causing trouble it is the people hanging out at his house. But this town is small enough that there is not really a bad area of town. It is all middle class with the nasty house here and there. All around this nasty pink house is very nice homes.

quote:

I don't think you were being paranoid. Hell, I'm all for kids being equipped with tracking devices up to a certain age so parents always know where they are.


Oh good, I have been called that before for not letting my daughter go to the other side of town with other little girls her age with one 10 year old to watch them. Hell no.

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/23/2013 6:16:31 AM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		Yeah, this story was too close for comfort for me, and I'm about two hours away.
I've always taught my kids the dangers but everytime I hear about stories like this, I use it to have a reminder conversation with them the importance not to get in the car with anyone unless the SEE it come from my mouth. I don't share details but sometimes my oldest catches a glimpse as we watch the news or hears something at school and I have to explain things in a less-detailed manner.
It hasn't made her scared, but has made her aware.

I've always thought I've been too paranoid as a parent, especially when I see other parents let their one child, at the age of five, play down the street alone. I'd rather be slightly paranoid as I am than too naive and unaware.


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RE: Local girl killed - 8/23/2013 6:30:19 AM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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Status: offline 		Yeah way to close to home. I do not know the family but I saw their names coming up all the time on facebook when they commented to peoples posts before this happened so I recognized the name as soon as people started posting that she was missing. A friend a few houses down watched some of the family's children and my daughter has played in that park and we looked at a house in Golden City before buying this one. My guess is that is what scares my daughter, some of her friends knew her and it happened somewhere familiar to her.

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/27/2013 1:29:13 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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Status: offline 		They had his first court yesterday. I feel so heartbroken for the family and also not feeling very safe knowing there was that kind of child predator living right in our community. Even though he had been in trouble including endangering the welfare of a child last year he only got 60 days in jail. At least I know I am not overreacting since I see so many around here reacting the same way. One friend was on her way home from leaving her candle at the park and saw golfers out, she told me she wondered how they could just carry on like everything was normal when something so horrible has happened. I told her life goes on even when we think it must stop for a while. My friend knows the family very well and is taking it so hard. Everyone is to a degree but she is really struggling.

http://www.fourstateshomepage.com/story/bobby-bourne-makes-first-court-appearance/d/story/Aw_xRCizFEWCVlKhRONxVg#.UhvxwT4nzUo.facebook

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/27/2013 1:53:20 PM   
Marc2b


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Status: offline 		Crimes like this piss me off so much they make me want to jam forks into the perpetrators eyes! And that's just for starters!

That aside, I think you did the right thing by talking to your daughter about it. She would have, as you noted, talked about it anyway with others and you don't want her thinking that she can't talk about scary stuff with you.

It's a delicate balance trying to educate our children about the dangers in life without causing them to live in fear. I wish I had all the answers on how to do that but I don't so I'll just wish you the best of luck.

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/27/2013 4:02:28 PM   
tsatske


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From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		When my children were young, we had a safeword. A word that someone would know if I had sent them. A word the daycare and school knew, in case family members were sent. When my children were young, their father had cancer. Once I took them to their Saturday classes at the community center, then got busy caring for their dad and had to send a cab for them. A call came fro the cab dispatcher- the cab driver was on the radio with her. My kids refused to get into the cab. They said if I had sent it, the driver would know the safeword. I felt very reassured by their maturity. And they got into the cab once I told the dispatcher the safeword. Would your daughter feel more safe (yea, an illusion, but I'm talking about how she would feel) if she had a safeword?

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/27/2013 4:33:32 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		Tsatske, that's a great idea.

I was recently given a similar tip and my husband and I now have a phrase in case something's horribly wrong but can't say it outright.
I think it's smart to do the same with the kids and for this situation.

I'm using it, thank you!

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/27/2013 5:06:21 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

When my children were young, we had a safeword. A word that someone would know if I had sent them. A word the daycare and school knew, in case family members were sent. When my children were young, their father had cancer. Once I took them to their Saturday classes at the community center, then got busy caring for their dad and had to send a cab for them. A call came fro the cab dispatcher- the cab driver was on the radio with her. My kids refused to get into the cab. They said if I had sent it, the driver would know the safeword. I felt very reassured by their maturity. And they got into the cab once I told the dispatcher the safeword. Would your daughter feel more safe (yea, an illusion, but I'm talking about how she would feel) if she had a safeword?



I had thought of that. We will probably come up with one. Funny you should mention safe being an illusion. I was just telling some friends of mine that safe is just an illusion. Here we were in our tiny town of under 1,000 people assured that we knew everyone in town, we knew the ones that were meth heads and the few on the sex offender registry so we are safe. Nope right under our nose is this man that ended up raping and killing a little girl. I was sick at the thought of how many times I let my little girl go and pick out cereal, run out to the car to grab something or go and talk to someone she knew. I now can't help but wonder if we have more in our supposes safe town that just has not given in to the urge to take a child. My friends say I can't think like that it will drive me crazy, but right now I can't help it. I told my husband how I no longer felt safe, just because we are in this small town where we know almost everyone does not mean we are safe. He shrugged and told me he already knew that, he asked me why I thought he was so protective of our girls. I just figured that was in his nature.

I am glad I told her now where she could talk to me about her fears right away and I could assure her that the man that hurt the little girl was in jail. I have seen on facebook and heard from friends I have talked to in person that all the kids at school are talking about it, the teachers had talks with the kids about it and it is all over the news here. No way to miss it. When I asked one of the teachers if they had any councilors since kids here in this town knew her she said they sent them to Golden City since it happened there but they could easily have one drive here if a child was having trouble.

< Message edited by Moonlightmaddnes -- 8/27/2013 5:09:18 PM >

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RE: Local girl killed - 8/27/2013 5:18:18 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

Crimes like this piss me off so much they make me want to jam forks into the perpetrators eyes! And that's just for starters!




Oh yes I agree with you. My husband is a pretty non violent man. He is not much of a let's kill him kind of guy but even he is all for a public hanging. And wow you should see my facebook homepage. I didn't know you could make threats like that and not have the police at the door. I have no doubt he will get the death penalty. The guy that killed Rowan a few years back did. Just like that case he led the police to the body.

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