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ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

"...but for me it's more like a seed growing - the seed wants to grow, it's in its nature to do so, but it needs the right conditions to germinate and to grow into a strong plant. Nature doesn't need to inspire the seed, but it does need to allow it those things."

Athena, lawd have mercy, but you perfectly nailed it.

So often, your magnificent weave of wisdom and words leaves me breathless. You are such a treasure.

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-Is the term "Inspiring Submission" a girly way of looking at the role of a dom?

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-Would this terminology mean Doms are supposed to be the equivalent of 'Sub/Slave Whisperers?'

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-Is "breaking in" really such a bad way to talk about getting a sub to suit you?

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ORIGINAL: paulriley

I'm not a fan of horse whisper or human whisper , The whip is the quickest way,and insires dedication in the subject being tained.

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ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

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ORIGINAL: MariaB
Inspiring submission is all about being a good leader. Not all dominants are leaders, just as not all leaders are dominants but a dominant who wishes to inspire submission imo is a leader. You can't however, start to inspire submission from someone who clearly isn't submissive!

I agree with this...for the most part.

I tend to be more of an alpha personality and probably 99% of the Dominants that have met me would say I'm not submissive. But, when I come up against someone that is more dominant than I am, I will become submissive. (Much like the alpha lioness in a pride of lions. The male is the head, she submits to him but dominates everyone else.)

For me, I very much have to be inspired because otherwise I will just assume power.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha



When I was a lot younger and single, and flirting/seducing "vanilla" or "kink-curious" men, I wouldn't call it inspiring submission, I would call it seduction, or "being predatory." Or, perhaps even coercion, in a way. But there was never any "non consent." It was taking an act that a man wasn't so sure of or hesitant and making him go from being "not on board" to "enjoying" and then to "begging for" and eventually to "loving" and then "being addicted to."

I knew I was compelled to see a man tied up, or suffering, or in pain (light pain) from an early age. How to get him to agree? What guy wanted to be hurt? I wanted to hurt him. I had to. I needed it. How could I make this happen? Just ask him? How could I explain this and do it without having him think I am crazy or just say "No!" or both?

Soon I learned that men loved to know they were turning me on. A lot of men, "pleasers," I called them, liked turning ME on more than they liked turning themselves on. I tended to attracted "pleasers" by my aggressive personality. So it all fell into place anyway. Just by the way things fell into place, I learned that if I lightly hurt them by hair pulling or biting then apologized but said "Oh god that's turning me on" and they said, "It's ok, if it turns you on you can keep doing it," then the table is set.

If I said, early on, "I'm sorry I hurt you, but it turns me on so much," he says, "It's ok, if if turns you on, it's worth it." Bingo. We're on the road - that's the chemistry there that I need to keep going, and it sets the foundation that we have at least a base to work with. How far that can go would still be an unknown, but the emotional dynamic of power exchange sensuality is in place. Just to look him in the eyes and say, "Actually, it makes me wet just to even hear you say that," pretty much solidifies the dynamic as well.

That's how I would kind of inspire submission - at least from a physical standpoint, before any formal "negotiation" was in place, just from a very first harmless "heavy petting" moment in the dark corner of a nightclub, backseat of car or on the porch saying goodnight after a second date. I liked to get it out of the way early.

Akasha

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: paulriley

I'm not a fan of horse whisper or human whisper , The whip is the quickest way,and insires dedication in the subject being tained.

If you ever get a horse, I hope someone calls the ASPCA on you.
And the only thing constant punishment causes is dedication to not interacting with the punisher. Instead of porn fantasy, why not read real academic studies?

With two hands, instead of just one.

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If you ever get a horse, I hope someone calls the ASPCA on you.
And the only thing constant punishment causes is dedication to not interacting with the punisher. Instead of porn fantasy, why not read real academic studies?

With two hands, instead of just one.