Looking for a wife. . . (Full Version)

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Aylee -> Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 4:05:59 AM)

With everything that has happened, I have been doing a lot of cleaning. Some here might be polite and call it de-cluttering. I call it de-trashification or making this house habitable.

My best beloved had a hard time getting rid of things. You all would not believe the crap that I have thrown out in the last few weeks. And while there is a little bit more, I do not think that I will need to call the city for an extra pick-up. YAY! (A hat tip to the trash men for being so great about this!)

I will allow that there was a lot of things that came to live here from his father's house and his uncle's house when they passed. My in-laws were SUPPOSED to come and go through things and decide what they wanted and all that. Well, eight years is long enough and I have kept out any pictures I found an emails have been sent with a two-week deadline for them to be picked up.

With the shed cleaned and usable and the basement almost tidy and clean (I still have some stuff that needs to go for donation and such) I have moved my cleaning upstairs and started on those rooms.

Better shelving in the pantry, new curtains in the front room, and getting rid of the huge, horrid, tv holder have happened. You all get the idea.

I have now been getting asked about what my "theme" for rooms is going to be. Themes? You have got to be kidding me. How about "functional." How about good enough that it does not clash horribly when you walk in the door in order to prevent seizures and migraines.

This has brought me to. . . I need a wife.

I have had two proposals of marriage. Several requests for dates. And I have no idea how many offers of gratuitous sex. (And this has all been while wearing mourning colors.)

I know that I do not make a good "wife." So the marriage offers of that are RIGHT OUT! Dates? You have got to be kidding me. Sex? No thanks. But I think that I could be happy to have a wife. One of those June Cleaver types. Or Aunt Bea. Someone who enjoys all the "wifely stuff."

I am thinking e-bay.

What do you all think?



MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 4:14:33 AM)

I wish you the best for the future. Life truly stinks sometimes. All we can do is plough on, and it sounds as though you are doing that.



KMsAngel -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 4:58:06 AM)

sorry aylee, neither the US nor Aus seem to have wives for auction... maybe craigs list?



Aylee -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 6:42:39 AM)

I thought that you only found gratuitous sex on craigslist.

And I am not picky about sex, gender, or sexual orientation for my wife.



DomMeinCT -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 6:51:15 AM)


quote:

I have had two proposals of marriage. Several requests for dates. And I have no idea how many offers of gratuitous sex. (And this has all been while wearing mourning colors.)


My goodness, some people have an atrocious sense of timing.



You might be able to find a decent wife at Freecycle.org, Half.com, or a good returned model (warrantee still intact) on Amazon.



Aylee -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 7:01:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT


quote:

I have had two proposals of marriage. Several requests for dates. And I have no idea how many offers of gratuitous sex. (And this has all been while wearing mourning colors.)


My goodness, some people have an atrocious sense of timing.



You might be able to find a decent wife at Freecycle.org, Half.com, or a good returned model (warrantee still intact) on Amazon.


The sad part is that those things are not that unusual.



Toysinbabeland -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 7:12:51 AM)

Sending you warm hugs. Hope you get the help you need .



ShaharThorne -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 7:26:12 AM)

Expect a package from me after the 2nd. I just don't have enough funds to send it right now.

Believe me, I worked hard on this. Call it his legacy.



theshytype -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 8:20:54 AM)

My husband has threatened to sell me on eBay. If he goes through with it, I'll let you know. [;)]





Darkfeather -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 9:28:20 AM)

Hear them ruskies sell a mean wife.



needlesandpins -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 10:41:47 AM)

most of the guys here in the uk seem to buy from Thailand. I think it's still the fashion here.

if Thai isn't your thing then maybe you could start thinking the van and chains method of acquisition. they tend to not be so willing a wife, but with time and training I think it could work out well. after all you did say you now have a tidy basement.

needles



Hillwilliam -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 10:44:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

if Thai isn't your thing then maybe you could start thinking the van and chains method of acquisition. they tend to not be so willing a wife, but with time and training I think it could work out well. after all you did say you now have a tidy basement.

needles

It's not a kidnapping. Think of it as a "Surprise Adoption".



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 11:36:56 AM)

Aylee, sounds like you're moving forward. Good on you and may the joy return soon.

As for the 'wife', I had a sub who was delighted with NSA domestic duties and housework. His only request was that I chat with him from time to time while he worked. He enjoyed the company. There was never sex, though sometimes I'd walk by and swat him on the ass or prick him with something sharp if I thought he needed a little incentive. He was very meticulous, and willing to tackle the really messed up, tough jobs like my closet and bedroom shelves. I'd give him grocery lists/money and he would shop for me, then cook or bake whatever I asked him to. I'd request him right before potlucks so I could take great, fresh stuff to the party.

How about someone like him? He was right here on CL, but he had to move back east to care for his parents. I can link you to his profile if you like. I think he'd be flattered.



Aylee -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 3:26:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

if Thai isn't your thing then maybe you could start thinking the van and chains method of acquisition. they tend to not be so willing a wife, but with time and training I think it could work out well. after all you did say you now have a tidy basement.

needles

It's not a kidnapping. Think of it as a "Surprise Adoption".



I think that I like this idea. Does anyone have a panel van?



Aylee -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/27/2013 3:27:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Aylee, sounds like you're moving forward. Good on you and may the joy return soon.

As for the 'wife', I had a sub who was delighted with NSA domestic duties and housework. His only request was that I chat with him from time to time while he worked. He enjoyed the company. There was never sex, though sometimes I'd walk by and swat him on the ass or prick him with something sharp if I thought he needed a little incentive. He was very meticulous, and willing to tackle the really messed up, tough jobs like my closet and bedroom shelves. I'd give him grocery lists/money and he would shop for me, then cook or bake whatever I asked him to. I'd request him right before potlucks so I could take great, fresh stuff to the party.

How about someone like him? He was right here on CL, but he had to move back east to care for his parents. I can link you to his profile if you like. I think he'd be flattered.


Sure! Maybe he has a friend.



KMsAngel -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/28/2013 3:08:16 AM)

sorry aylee, we don't have craigslist over here, so i was taking a wild guess.

i had a laugh over the NSA comment. i wondered for a brief second if perhaps he was out of a job and looking for work, until it twigged she meant no strings attached [:D] perhaps snowden could go drag and you could 'forcibly adopt' him from russia! he'd never leave the house, perfect wife!



sunshinemiss -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/28/2013 3:19:47 AM)

Anyone would be lucky, damn lucky, to have you.

Here in Korea, the men go down to Vietnam / Cambodia / other places in groups of 20 or so to look for wives. (True story).



Rasciallymisty -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/28/2013 8:29:43 AM)

First my condolences once again. Second I know what you are talking about I had to do the same thing after Brad passed he also held on to STUFF. It sounds like you are doing great and moving forward. I wish you the best in finding someone to help....I am to anal retentive to have or had anyone here to help me.[:)] It's a nice feeling when you walk into a room and it says I AM home.



MercTech -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/29/2013 10:06:39 AM)

I'm still flogging things on eBay...

I can empathize....

My grandmother died and my mom stored all her collectibles.

I inherited the house and brought in MY stuff.

My girl moved in with HER stuff.

Anyone want some Bradford Plates?




Toysinbabeland -> RE: Looking for a wife. . . (8/29/2013 10:14:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MercTech

I'm still flogging things on eBay...

I can empathize....

My grandmother died and my mom stored all her collectibles.

I inherited the house and brought in MY stuff.

My girl moved in with HER stuff.

Anyone want some Bradford Plates?




Yep......I'm dying to get my hands on the one entitled:
Arnold & the bicycle man , what a classic






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