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njlauren -> RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' (8/31/2013 10:45:57 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Risk . . . "destructive direction" . . . ever heard of safe sex practices??? How can sharing passion, or sex, or orgasms be disregard or disrespect to your body? Orgasms are good, clinically proven even.
As far as sleeping with a hundred people, you better up that number considerably. I ain't no virgin or some prude. If you count the 70s, tack 1,000 or 1,500 onto your best guess because I was a performer in the music industry and we were all a loose bunch. Having sex with a couple of Master's female friends at a party . . . how is that the path to destruction?
That actually raises a good question about this scenario and to me, reading the other posts and looking at my own thoughts and feelings, a lot of this comes down to what levels of risk the dominant and sub have, the levels of trust, and so forth.
In the example RS gave, he was right there, and if his girl had freaked out, or he didn't like what the people were doing, he could stop it, the same way at a play party if he 'gave' his sub to another person to play with, he could stop it, if he saw the guy was a jerk or his sub was in trouble (and I would assume that had his sub totally freaked at the idea of being used by others, he would not have gone on). The key to me is that the dom and sub have trust enough that the sub knows they will be protected and more importantly, that the sub will protect themselves however the dom wanted them to.
For example, a friend of mine had a female slave she would lend out to male friends (her s was female, lesbian mostly, but occassionally liked to get fucked). She got pissed off when her s was given to a friend of hers, and they had sex without condoms, which was a guideline, and there was a serious breach there..and i can't blame my friend for being pissed.
Or as with Jeff and his Carol, he talks about she is so sub that she can be easily be made to do things (if I read it correctly) by someone who is her dominant.....and if that is the case, if a D 'borrows' or 'buys' someone's s and is with them out of the dom's sight, how does the dom protect them from being used in ways they don't want? Obviously, if a D tells an s there are boundaries (for example, they can play, and she could do a hand job or a blow job, but no vaginal or anal sex) you hope they follow them, but if you have someone like Jeff's Carol who tends to be so sub, they may 'forget' about that bound, and what do you do then? (and I don't have any answers, I bring it up as a question).
The key thing is obviously trusting the person you are giving them to. If it is a stranger at a play party, you are there as the D, plus DM's and such, to make sure it doesn't get out of hand...but if it is remote, there are issues. As others have said, including Jeff, it would have to be someone you know and trust, because someone could see a deep sub, and get tempted, because they are so malleable, and depending on the the s to say no is not always such a great answer. From a personal standpoint, I would suggest that unless the s was being lent out to someone they implicitly trusted (I agree with Jeff totally on that one,it should be), that that a safeword be applied to that situatuon, even though with a deep sub a safeword may not work, if they get into deep subspace they could forget about it and as others have pointed out, it is not absolute).
The fantasy of that is a common one for subs IME, and it is understandable, but the reality poses a lot of questions, and I suspect it is why a lot of people might fantasize about this but never do it. Of all the scenarios, lending someone out/allowing them to play with others at a public or private play party where the D is present to me isn't a big deal, the real situation is where the D doesn't have control over it.
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