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RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/2/2013 10:36:57 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

There really are no easy answers, AlbanySissy. As much as, from the outside, it's easy to tell you to do this or do that...there are consequences to every action and inaction. You have to decide which consequences you can live with.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to albanysissy)

Post #: 21

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/2/2013 10:54:31 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Does she know you cross dress, and is she okay with that?

B/c opening up about that would be a first step. If she's not good with the cding, I doubt she will be open minded enough to try much, but you never know.

As others have said, talk and listen and be prepared for it to freak her out. But if she can accept it, it would really deepen your relationship.

Then go slow.

_____________________________

(in reply to Sissywhore21)

Post #: 22

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/2/2013 11:22:20 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Does she know you cross dress, and is she okay with that?

B/c opening up about that would be a first step. If she's not good with the cding, I doubt she will be open minded enough to try much, but you never know.

As others have said, talk and listen and be prepared for it to freak her out. But if she can accept it, it would really deepen your relationship.

Then go slow.

As somebody who has "having a partner into cross dressing" on the hard limits list, I thought I'd throw a word in about the highlighted above. I tend to see myself as a person who has a list of kinks about a mile long, even though cross dressing isn't one of the kinks that I want in my life. I know I'm not alone in that category. There are plenty of kink friendly females who love scores of other things, even though they don't like that particular one.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 23

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/2/2013 6:23:12 PM

Sissyalbany

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/25/2013
Status: offline

Thank You all for this advise i appreciate you taking time to reply to me . Im still thinking what to do I was advised to start with a communication book . Im not a very good communicator with her . Ill stay in touch and ill also be around here now that i found you guys here
Thanks again
Ciao

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 24

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/2/2013 6:37:43 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sissyalbany
Thank You all for this advise i appreciate you taking time to reply to me . Im still thinking what to do I was advised to start with a communication book . Im not a very good communicator with her . Ill stay in touch and ill also be around here now that i found you guys here
Thanks again
Ciao

For future reference, while the site allows a person to have multiple profiles, they do ask that you only use one for replying to any singular thread on the forums.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Sissyalbany)

Post #: 25

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/2/2013 6:46:51 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I take your point, LadyP. But since he's a sissy I kinda have the feeling the cross dressing is his major fetish. It generally is.

My experience with sissy types is that the rest of it can be negotiated, but they will always need someone who can understand that particular desire.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 26

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/2/2013 6:53:41 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I take your point, LadyP. But since he's a sissy I kinda have the feeling the cross dressing is his major fetish. It generally is.

My experience with sissy types is that the rest of it can be negotiated, but they will always need someone who can understand that particular desire.

Yes, we agree on that point. What I did such a poor job of expressing was that for the other person, just because they aren't cool with the cross dressing *doesn't* mean that they aren't interested in other kinks. Not meaning that the person who enjoys cross dressing to give it up. She (the woman that was referenced) may very well love things like sadism, impact play, and tons of other things. A person not being into a partner who has sissification as a major part of their fetish list doesn't mean they aren't open minded to other aspects of BDSM. It just means that the two might not be compatible enough with matching kinks to have both parties happy.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 27

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 12:49:56 PM

casidi75

Posts: 42
Joined: 9/25/2013
Status: offline

if she is straight you dont

(in reply to Sissywhore21)

Post #: 28

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 1:23:38 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

You ruined yourself with the first sentence.

Mentioning "50 Shades" is like swearing around here.

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 29

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 1:28:18 PM

jj292

Posts: 100
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

I think you can usually have an idea if you know a person well enough how they would react. You'd be surprised how many are willing to at least try very simple bondage-type activities. That's not even that far outside the mainstream anymore. But the cd-ing might be a little too much or may not be a kink she would ever be interested in.

(in reply to casidi75)

Post #: 30

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 1:29:58 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

This is really easy: Just tell her.

It's that simple and that hard.

It can be really frightening telling a woman that you love that you are a pervert. You will be surprised at how accepting of that women are. Bite the bullet and just tell her. You will most likely be surprised.

If I am wrong, well, I hear that the beer in Australia is cold.

(in reply to Sissywhore21)

Post #: 31

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 2:23:25 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

This is really easy: Just tell her.

It's that simple and that hard.

It can be really frightening telling a woman that you love that you are a pervert. You will be surprised at how accepting of that women are. Bite the bullet and just tell her. You will most likely be surprised.

If I am wrong, well, I hear that the beer in Australia is cold.

Chances are, she already knows. Women are good at picking stuff like that up.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 32

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 6:25:29 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

I have yet to tell a woman that I am a pervert and been turned away because of that. Mostly they are intrigued and want to dive into my toybag.

"What do you use THIS for!"

"Just lie back and find out."

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 33

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 7:24:50 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

Not a Hard Limit, but I also don't find CDs sexually attractive. I can tolerate it if a guy wants to wear a few ladies undergarments once in a while, but if it's the whole 9 yards dressed up like a woman with a wig & make-up on, then I'd have to call Soft Limit for sure.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

As somebody who has "having a partner into cross dressing" on the hard limits list, I thought I'd throw a word in about the highlighted above. I tend to see myself as a person who has a list of kinks about a mile long, even though cross dressing isn't one of the kinks that I want in my life. I know I'm not alone in that category. There are plenty of kink friendly females who love scores of other things, even though they don't like that particular one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

But since he's a sissy I kinda have the feeling the cross dressing is his major fetish. It generally is.

My experience with sissy types is that the rest of it can be negotiated, but they will always need someone who can understand that particular desire.

Definitely have to agree that once a male s-type gets into the sissy mentality, there's really no turning back. I have a gurlfriend I accompanied to the store so he could update his wardrobe and managed to sneak him into the dressing room 3 times with me without raising an eyebrow. I pretended I was the one getting new clothes. And it was a good thing I was there because his choices weren't flattering on him whatsoever.

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* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

_____________________________

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Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 34

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 7:36:57 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressLily
Not a Hard Limit, but I also don't find CDs sexually attractive.

I think part of my issue with sissies/CDs is that many of them behave like a caricature of a woman....and I find that to be something that sexually turns me off. We do have a friend that is a CD that I adore and have even played with...and it's because he approaches it as fun rather than trying to squeeze himself into a role.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to TigressLily)

Post #: 35

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 8:05:50 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressLily
Not a Hard Limit, but I also don't find CDs sexually attractive.

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

I am not a transvestite but I do like the shoes - once in a great while. And on the rare occasions I wear them I totally rock a pair of heels!

*shakes box* damned sarcaso-meter broke again.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 36

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 8:22:59 PM

Pyramus

Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline

Just came in on this, and, well, the answer in some cases is ... you don't.

Trust me. If you do ... she'll think you're a pervert.

Which ... you are ... but for her ... a pervert is not a good thing.

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 37

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 9:01:48 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

We are going to have to agree to disagree. Because you are wrong.

The existence proof says that I am right. Suck it up and deal cupcake.

(in reply to Pyramus)

Post #: 38

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 9:13:20 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel
I do like the shoes - once in a great while. And on the rare occasions I wear them I totally rock a pair of heels!

I totally agree! Especially when they match the gun.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 39

RE: How do i reveal my kinks to my gf - 9/26/2013 10:35:13 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

Poise, I was in a gun store today.

I am not a resident of Virginia so I couldn't buy the pistol (stupid laws) but I have the perfect pair of shoes to match that purple gun!

Think of this: 4.5 inch purple stilettos. Jeans and a purple Ruger. Shirtless.

This is the winky part of the post: Wink!

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 40

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