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so how much do y'all think about The Process here?


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so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/1/2013 6:09:19 PM   
splatterpunk


Posts: 119
Joined: 7/10/2013
Status: offline 		guess i'm talking mostly to the regulars, the veterans, the motherfucking lifers. you know who you are on these boards.

i'm in a privileged position. i'm ridiculously committed and madly in love and i'm only around these parts for shits and giggles. one of the things i get the biggest kick out of are the super-earnest posts about how best to work the process and find someone to play with/date/keep caged in your filthy barn behind your run-down shotgun shack/whatever. it always feels like i'm watching one of those pick up artist seminars, like every thread needs someone at some point to shout "game recognize game, dogg!"

the people who've been around here since hector was a pup, though, the ones with the high post counts and who still have yahoo messenger contacts lists a mile long, do you folks still think about The Process? or is there a point where you just decide to lay back and let it all just wash over you?

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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/1/2013 7:21:29 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I have no idea what you mean by the process even after reading your post so I have no idea. But as for being here, I give advice but if someone takes it or not, I don't give a rat's ass. That's their choice. I type basically to hear myself type and for the purpose of entertainment; always have, always will.


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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/1/2013 7:45:36 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm in a relationship. We wouldn't mind a third, but are not actively looking. If I were actively looking, I'd eschew the collarme process and meet people at local events. I'm just here for fun.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/1/2013 9:00:59 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		When I was looking, I practiced non-attachment, and saw collarme (and collarchat) as one tool of many. I've done everything I recommend.

(in reply to splatterpunk)
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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/1/2013 9:55:27 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		FR
I think a lot of the forum regulars are not looking for one reason or another. We hang out here to chat with people we don't have to hide any aspect of our lives from.

Although I do know of several long term relationships and marriages that started through collarme.

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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/1/2013 10:08:54 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		Well, "The Process," was pretty simple. Make a connection to the local community through this site, then shut the computer off, and get out there. We're coming up on our 8 year anniversary.

I will rarely comment on the "finding a relationship" threads, beyond any advice that can be drawn from the above.

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If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/1/2013 10:10:36 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I met HM on the other side. But I'm still here hanging out and having fun. :)

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A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 12:38:31 AM   
metamorfosis


Posts: 1132
Status: offline 		I'm not actively looking, mostly because I've got too much personal shit to work on. Let's just come out and say it: I'm kind of fucked up. And until I work shit out, I'm no good to anyone.

I hang out here because I want to. Is there something wrong with that?

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Forum Freak

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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 5:00:39 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		I am actively looking for my partner, in a passive sort of way. As far as CM is concerned, it's purely entertainment first, last & in the middle.
The advice given on the forums is extremely useful to people who ask for the info, & for onlookers.

I don't think there's a process as such, but, some people do need to be reminded about manners, & that things don't happen over night.

It makes me smile when I see a post from someone who says that they've been on the site for a week & still haven't met anybody .

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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 7:51:12 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		I'm not actively seeking anyone. I like coming here because some of the threads and posters remind of when I was younger and wilder. Not to say I couldn't-by sheer chance I ran into a former play partner from almost fifteen years ago on the other side. Yes, I went out and met her, but for a perfectly acceptable coffee date where we caught up with old times. She did make a few veiled hints she might like to play again, but I'm too old and wise now to fall for that. There were legit reasons we went our separate ways, but I always like to part on a good note. Never burn your bridges.

If one wishes to hear of my thoughts on The Process, all I have to offer it this: at all costs, never appear desperate, no matter what side of the kneel one is on. It's pathetic and counterproductive to your goals. I've accomplished more with detached indifference than laser-like focus on a goal. I still chuckle at the posters who come on here, a whole day or two after joining, whining about how this place is a sham, a scam, and a dead-end because they couldn't hook-up immediately.

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Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 8:45:13 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The process of meeting people through the site? Not My style and not why I'm here. I'm one of those folks who is always plugging away for folks to meet play partners and relationship potentials in the local community. It cuts out a lot of the crap about who will follow through, really show up, the 'that really wasn't their picture' stuff, and all of the rest. I'm another one that laughs at folks who go on about how you can't meet people because it's really just not that difficult to do. I've met darn near three hundred folks who had accounts here since I joined the site from eight different states. If a person can't manage to meet anyone from here, whether that be friends, play partners, or whatever, they either aren't really trying or they are doing it wrong.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 9:32:25 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Many of us regulars are not actively seeking. However, many of us have also met real time, or have real time friends in common, though we haven't actually met.

At this point I wouldn't bother trying to met anyone I met online who wasn't active on the forums. As long as I still maintain a profile on the other side, it will *always* be the best way to get my attention. Show you are an articulate communicator, b/c *that's* what I am attracted to.

If I was actively looking, I'd make a stronger effort to go to munches and such. The other side is a vast wasteland with a few islands of joy, IMO.







< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 9/2/2013 9:33:03 AM >

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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 9:53:14 AM   
jola37


Posts: 433
Joined: 7/8/2013
Status: offline 		The process is a puzzling one, I had given up looking for a gf when I met my last one. I'm getting to that stage again now and funnily enough, am starting to meet more women.

I came here initially in the hope of meeting someone and like many, soon discovered that the chances of that are beyond slim. I have my profile set to make it seem like I'm looking but I happily accept it's extremely unlikely to meet someone directly. I did a search for male subs at my age in the UK which returned 5 pages of results and when I searched female Dommes in the UK at my age, it returned no results at all (other than a few fin dommes, nothing wrong with that, just not what I'm looking for). With this ratio of 100/0, I personally don't feel it's worth investing the hope and time to it here!

Why I do come here is because of friendship, learning and laughs. I have really nice regular emails with several members here now and will hopefully meet some of them one day. I have learnt so much here in the last few months, I'm not kidding. I wouldn't have gone to my first munch and I wouldn't have met with a nice lady at the weekend for a beer, had I not have been here on CM, getting really nice encouragement and words of advice.




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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 10:18:28 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I was married to himself before CollarMe even existed and when I went looking for my very first D/s relationship, the idea of everybody being on the internet was just a gleam in AOL's eye.

I guess I don't get the whole process thing. I went to events, talked to people, if I liked them exchanged phone numbers, I dated, got to know them and if I liked them became engaged in a relationship with them. I followed what felt natural and comfortable for me.

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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 1:07:24 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Ok so the process is about meeting someone? If that's the case, I was never really actively seeking on here. I had a profile but never really cared if I met someone or not. I would meet men knowing before I ever met them that I wouldn't like them because I would get that feeling just from their profiles alone. I would meet them simply for something to do. I did the same with Master figuring I'd meet him, finish my coffee and that would be it. Didn't expect anything as usual. But I ended up liking him from the very second I saw him.

So I'm of the opinion that you find what you want when you are not seeking actively. Put yourself out there, enjoy your life but don't be desperate to meet someone.


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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 10:07:40 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		What is so wrong with being desperate? Be yourself whatever, whomever that is.

What is the process? I missed that class.

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Jean-Michel Basquiat



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RE: so how much do y'all think about The Process here? - 9/2/2013 11:35:15 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Off-topic, but dang I love heartcream's avatar! ^^^

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Process? We don't need no stinkin' process! Someone does their best with an ad on the other side, joins in on the boards, and if they still don't meet someone compatible in a reasonable time frame...then get out into your community where the odds are usually better. Simples.

That said: I've had very good luck meeting people here, looking or not. I haven't been in the looking mode for a really long time, so I dialed back the investment in my profile making it rather unremarkable. First line in big red letters: not currently looking. Still doesn't seem to discourage the 'would you consider a (sic) oral slave?' and 'can i pay u 400 to put out a cigarette on my ball sak (sic)'. Ehh, fookers either can't or don't bother to read. Means zip to me either way.

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 17
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