The proper criteria to judge a state, region or country

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The proper criteria to judge a state, region or country - 9/2/2013 5:55:27 AM

jlf1961

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After a thread started by another user of these boards concerning the problems with Americans, I got to thinking (dangerous thing my thinking, my thinking led directly to the destruction of Thera, Pompeii, the fall of the Roman Empire, basically every major catastrophe in human history, including New Coke.)

How do we judge another country, region or state? Do we judge them on unimportant things like politics, religion or other mundane quirks?

No!

I have compiled a list of criteria with which to judge other places, using the most accurate ways to measure populations.

Criteria for Judging regions:

1 Accent: Youse is bad, Ya'll is good.
2 Climate: Freezing your ass off in sub zero temperatures is bad, short sleeves in February is good.
3 Food: BBQ Beef good, BBQ pork bad. Anything using animal brains is really bad.
4: Nascar is driving in circles making nothing but left turns.
5: If the fucking ground moves when it wants to, that is really bad, living on the side of volcanoes is just insane

Criteria for judging countries:

1) Language: It is an Elevator, not a lift. The metal is aluminum not aluminium
2) Driving: You drive on the right hand side of the road.
3) Sports: American football is a sport, hockey is a sport, baseball is a sport, basketball is a sport, soccer (it is not football) is a sport.
4) Food: Octopus on pizza is just wrong, and WTF is haggis? And spotted dick sounds like a Sexually Transmitted Disease.
5) Climate: see regional criteria
6) Automotive Technology: Sorry people but the deep throated roar of a Detroit V8 sounds a hell of a lot better than the buzz of whatever it is other countries call engines.
7) If the fucking ground moves when it wants to, that is really bad, living on the side of volcanoes is just insane
8) Motorcycles, Harleys, Indians... enough said.
9) Okay, castles are cool, but so are cliff dwellings
10) Names of Sports teams: Raiders, Pirates are proper names for sports teams... Manchester United sounds like a freaking airline.

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/2/2013 7:22:38 AM

Marc2b

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I use the same criteria that the vast majority of the human race uses:

If you don't live in my area, don't have similar political and religious views, don't eat the same foods I enjoy, don't enjoy the same recreational activities and don't speak the same language I do... then there is something wrong with you.

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/2/2013 8:57:33 AM

Zonie63

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961
I have compiled a list of criteria with which to judge other places, using the most accurate ways to measure populations.

Those lists are pretty good. I judge states also by the cleanliness of the bathrooms at interstate rest areas, as well as the little quirky differences in road signs:

Also, any state or jurisdiction where they don't let you turn right on red will be judged harshly. States will also be judged according to their "welcome" signs that they have at the state borders. Aesthetics and artistic quality also have to be considered, as well as the colors of law enforcement vehicles and uniforms.

I mean, look at this thing:

I'd be embarrassed to live in a state with police cars looking like this, in comparison to this, which comes from a real cool state:

Not sure about Texas:

It sort reminds me of a guy wearing white socks with a black suit and shoes. The color arrangement doesn't seem like it's your typical "black-and-white" police car.

Also, the dinky states back east. I once was talking with someone from New Hampshire who said she had to drive "across state" like it was a major deal. Driving across New Hampshire is like a walk across the street down here. It's smaller than the county I live in.

As for the region, I never really liked the Border Patrol vehicles, although this one looks pretty cool:

As for countries, I agree about driving on the right.

Climate and other regional maladies (such as earthquakes and volcanoes) vary from region to region, but I think every region has its own cross to bear in this regard. We have dust storms, wildfires, and unbearable heat in AZ, in addition to running out of water.

One thing that's nice about Southwestern states is that you can have the best of both worlds. You can enjoy mild winters (short-sleeves in February), but if you really want cold, snow, and winter sports, it's only just a short drive up the mountain or a few hours to the north. We also have some active wildlife, and the animals are pretty smart, too. Just the other day I saw a coyote assembling a giant catapult he got from a company called ACME.

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/2/2013 9:27:00 AM

atypicalsub

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As a midwesterner transplanted to central NY (New York City is not the entire state), I'll be jumping at my first chance to get back to Minnesota. The climate isn't that different but the politics are weird here and the dialect difference is nearly as bad as between the English and the Irish. Also here they call everyone "luv" and "hun". Sorry but that's too intimate to be coming from the gas station attendant or the person at the drive through window of a fast food place!

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/2/2013 3:40:50 PM

punisher440

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Really Jeff...number 3? Please....

Give me real pit[and I mean a hole in the ground,the pit covered with roofing tin and the pork slow cooked a very long time] pork BBQ any day over beef.

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/2/2013 8:31:08 PM

playfulotter

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Hmmm...I agree with you about a lot of what you said....and some I don't care about. Earthquakes though happen here in California and it has been awhile since a bad one happened...if you count all the people in the last 50 years who have died in earthquakes here and the people who have died from tornadoes, hurricanes and flooding in other parts of the U.S....I will pick earthquakes even though they scare me something fierce!

PS..I like BBQ beef and BBQ pork..yum!

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 9/2/2013 8:33:41 PM >

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/3/2013 3:55:25 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

After a thread started by another user of these boards concerning the problems with Americans, I got to thinking (dangerous thing my thinking, my thinking led directly to the destruction of Thera, Pompeii, the fall of the Roman Empire, basically every major catastrophe in human history, including New Coke.)

How do we judge another country, region or state? Do we judge them on unimportant things like politics, religion or other mundane quirks?

No!

I have compiled a list of criteria with which to judge other places, using the most accurate ways to measure populations.

Criteria for Judging regions:

1 Accent: Youse is bad, Ya'll is good.
2 Climate: Freezing your ass off in sub zero temperatures is bad, short sleeves in February is good.
3 Food: BBQ Beef good, BBQ pork bad. Anything using animal brains is really bad.
4: Nascar is driving in circles making nothing but left turns.
5: If the fucking ground moves when it wants to, that is really bad, living on the side of volcanoes is just insane

Criteria for judging countries:

1) Language: It is an Elevator, not a lift. The metal is aluminum not aluminium
2) Driving: You drive on the right hand side of the road.
3) Sports: American football is a sport, hockey is a sport, baseball is a sport, basketball is a sport, soccer (it is not football) is a sport.
4) Food: Octopus on pizza is just wrong, and WTF is haggis? And spotted dick sounds like a Sexually Transmitted Disease.
5) Climate: see regional criteria
6) Automotive Technology: Sorry people but the deep throated roar of a Detroit V8 sounds a hell of a lot better than the buzz of whatever it is other countries call engines.
7) If the fucking ground moves when it wants to, that is really bad, living on the side of volcanoes is just insane
8) Motorcycles, Harleys, Indians... enough said.
9) Okay, castles are cool, but so are cliff dwellings
10) Names of Sports teams: Raiders, Pirates are proper names for sports teams... Manchester United sounds like a freaking airline.

This is so simple.

Washington State is awesome....all other States suck (only by comparison....come on now)....

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/3/2013 4:15:15 PM

jlf1961

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New Criteria:

If the fucking population density is more than 1 person per 10 square miles, it is bad.

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/3/2013 4:19:44 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

New Criteria:

If the fucking population density is more than 1 person per 10 square miles, it is bad.

Okay fine....(picky motherfucker)....Eastern Washington then.

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/4/2013 9:19:09 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b
If you don't live in my area, don't have similar political and religious views, don't eat the same foods I enjoy, don't enjoy the same recreational activities and don't speak the same language I do... then there is something wrong with you.

Oh man, how surface and shallow of you. I judge on the important stuff like "Did they configure their electrical outlets like civilized human beings or did they make up some weird shit with random holes & plugs?"

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/4/2013 9:28:29 AM

DesFIP

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A year is supposed to have four distinct seasons and leaves are supposed to give you a glorious panascopic display every year.

Right turn on red is a right, not a privilege. However it should be always or never, none of this not during 9 -5 except you can from 12 -1 shit. Make up your mind, damn it!

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/4/2013 11:24:20 AM

Marc2b

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quote:

Oh man, how surface and shallow of you. I judge on the important stuff like "Did they configure their electrical outlets like civilized human beings or did they make up some weird shit with random holes & plugs?"

Your opinion is not relevant because you live in Canada where they engage in barbaric practices like putting cheese curds and gravy on french fries.

But I do agree with you about the electrical outlets.

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/4/2013 12:41:15 PM

punisher440

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quote:

Your opinion is not relevant because you live in Canada where they engage in barbaric practices like putting cheese curds and gravy on french fries.

Don't forget the heinous practice of serving French fries with mayonnaise Marc2b.....

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RE: The proper criteria to judge a state, region or cou... - 9/4/2013 1:27:53 PM

Marc2b

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quote:

Don't forget the heinous practice of serving French fries with mayonnaise Marc2b.....

Yeah, that is pretty barbaric... might as well add little bits of celery and call it potato salad.

But I thought it was Holland that did that shit (I've never seen Canadians do it) but then my only source is Pulp Fiction.

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