can anyone help me...?

can anyone help me...? (Full Version)

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pvcdesires -> can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 3:44:10 AM)
hi all.....have met 2 a very dom guy...who dosent want to a relationship but when we meet we have the most fantastic relationship vanilla wise but also play very kinky games together..which leaves me wanting more and more..... I feel physically drained and very emotional...is this common to feel like this...? I need to understand why iam feeling like this....he has taken me to places in my mind and body that I didn't think I could experience .. and like I say I want more.. he isn't local and we only meet up when he is in my area....but when we do meet its usually for a few days at a time ...and our play time is very intense for both of us.... so is this natural to feel so emotion......and wanting more......?

xxblushesxx -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 3:46:58 AM)
Yes. You'll have to decide if having the fun that you all have together is worth not having the relationship that you want. Only you can answer that.

pvcdesires -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 3:53:11 AM)
thank you for the quick response to my mail..... I would very much like a relationship with this guy yes...but know with his lifestyle he dosent......he meets others when we don't meet and this leaves me very unhappy and sad....I feel very emotional at the moment....and know I need to meet others too.....but feel a bond with him....

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 3:53:29 AM)
Most are going to call it "sub frenzy" but I think it transcends vanilla/kink... When we first meet someone they seem perfect, everything they do and say is great. Stuff that normally would drive us to distraction is cute. Jokes are funny...it is called "the honeymoon phase"...can't get enough it each other... It is wonderful until it is not...Enjoy it but know that things will change as they grow and either you will discover more about this person that builds a foundation and the honeymoon phase becomes more or...you wake up morning and realize...that it is no longer enough.

pvcdesires -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 3:58:45 AM)
thank you again for the reply.....I need to revalue my way of thinking..and hope I can sort out my feelings on what I want.....thanks

xxblushesxx -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 4:13:11 AM)
Don't keep him hoping he'll change. Either accept that this is the way it will be with him (which may also hold you back from finding someone more compatible with your needs) or break it off. He's told you what he is/wants/needs. Believe him.

kalikshama -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 8:06:14 AM)
While I did go through a period of enjoying kinky fuckbuddies, it was ultimately unsatisfying. Words cannot express how happy I am that I found a kinky man local to me who shares my relationships goals.

sexyred1 -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 8:21:41 AM)
When a man tells you he does not want a relationship and still gets to fuck you and hang out, he is actually having a relationship...the way he wants it. If you want a relationship the way YOU want it, either set boundaries on your emotions and still see this guy when you want to, be busy when he calls, or, if you really feel an intense connection, you may need to stop seeing him. Always believe a guy who says he does not want a relationship. He is warning you.

OsideGirl -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 8:44:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss Most are going to call it "sub frenzy" but I think it transcends vanilla/kink... I'd actually say it's sub drop. If she's just spent a few days pumped full of adrenaline and endorphins, she'd be coming down feeling the way she's feeling like she's coming down off of a great high. quote: ORIGINAL: pvcdesires I need to understand why iam feeling like this....he has taken me to places in my mind and body that I didn't think I could experience .. and like I say I want more.. <snip> so is this natural to feel so emotion......and wanting more......? This is exactly why I say to date someone and actually figure out if you like someone before playing or committing to that person. BDSM breaks through a lot of walls and drives hormones into the max setting, which gets confused with real emotions. Then three months into a relationship when the shine is starting to wear off, someone realizes that they've confused tingly genitals with love and that they actually don't even like the person they're with. OP a few words of advice: 1) You're a booty call. I know that's harsh, but it's true. If he's not interacting with you when he's out of your area, then he's not even a friend with benefits. 2) He's probably got other fuck buddies in the other areas he goes to and probably a GF or wife at home. 3) As I used to tell one of my friends: "Never 100% believe a guy that says he never wants to get married. Always believe a guy that says he never wants to marry you."

Gauge -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 12:50:46 PM)
He told you flat out what he wants and doesn't want. You are spinning your wheels and that is only going to get you more frustrated. Time to move along because there is definitely nothing to see here.

pvcdesires -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 1:09:45 PM)
hi all to everyone that has replied to my question..... I think you are right..in that he only wants a f.... when he is in the area and has other buddies or even a wife when at home..i need to get my mind and soul back in sinc....and move forward in my quest for a more reliable guy...for a more meaningful relationship/friendship...thanks

angelikaJ -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 6:38:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pvcdesires hi all.....have met 2 a very dom guy...who dosent want to a relationship but when we meet we have the most fantastic relationship vanilla wise but also play very kinky games together..which leaves me wanting more and more..... I feel physically drained and very emotional...is this common to feel like this...? I need to understand why iam feeling like this....he has taken me to places in my mind and body that I didn't think I could experience .. and like I say I want more.. he isn't local and we only meet up when he is in my area....but when we do meet its usually for a few days at a time ...and our play time is very intense for both of us.... so is this natural to feel so emotion......and wanting more......? Sub-space and sub-drop: http://chicomunch.com/publ/basic_info_about_bdsm/bdsm_101_subspace_aftercare_and_sub_drop_and_sometimes_top_drop/1-1-0-23 Sub-frenzy: http://www.submissiveloving.com/subfrenzy.html

pvcdesires -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/3/2013 11:11:28 PM)
thanks for the very helpful articles.....and which I have read with interest....it is how I have felt.....sub drop..sub/frenzy...I didn't realise how complex our minds are over this... and now I have read the articles I can now realise that my feelings are not silly.....but natural.....thanks again...

seekingreality -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/4/2013 6:18:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pvcdesires hi all.....have met 2 a very dom guy...who dosent want to a relationship but when we meet we have the most fantastic relationship vanilla wise but also play very kinky games together..which leaves me wanting more and more..... I feel physically drained and very emotional...is this common to feel like this...? I need to understand why iam feeling like this....he has taken me to places in my mind and body that I didn't think I could experience .. and like I say I want more.. he isn't local and we only meet up when he is in my area....but when we do meet its usually for a few days at a time ...and our play time is very intense for both of us.... so is this natural to feel so emotion......and wanting more......? acat Also, you have to remember you only meet up with him for a few days at time every once in a while -- not hard to have a blast when it's just a loose-and-easy, sex-filled, fun-filled long weekend. And there's nothing wrong with that. But it's much different than the day-to-day of paying the bills, taking out the trash, being together when you're both exhausted from work, etc. So even if you have more of a real relationship with him, you need to realize that could be very, very different than the relationship you now have. Could be better or worse. That guy who you love being with for three days at a time every other month might be a guy you hate seeing every day.

pvcdesires -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/5/2013 9:04:12 AM)
yes very true.....like you say could be totally different in every day life....thanks for your comment.... up date..... today I feel more in sinc with myself and feeling more positive.... no more tears! hehe...in fact iam thinking I love meeting this guy when he is in town...but there is more to life than waiting around for him...and so iam going to try and find a more regular guy..for my desires and wishes....and hope I find someone who can indulge in my kinky side...more often than every few weeks!

RedMagic1 -> RE: can anyone help me...? (9/5/2013 1:51:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pvcdesires my quest for a more reliable guy He doesn't sound unreliable to me. Rather, he seems honest and direct about what he will and won't do, and makes sure you have a good time when he's around. It sounds to me as though you want a man all to yourself, and he's already attached elsewhere. But I don't think you chose poorly, in the big picture. He doesn't sound like a liar or a user. He just isn't enough for you, because he is committed elsewhere.

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