RE: Equals?

RE: Equals? (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: Equals? (7/1/2006 11:39:15 AM)
DesertDancer, Since you have been here even longer than me I do not need to tell you how controversial the word "equal" is here...smiles. My dom sees me as his equal in some ways, his inferior in other ways, and is superior in still other ways. We are equal in what we offer each other. He gives me as much as I give him, but what we give is different... It is even hard to fathom a "measuring" of it. I find I do not think about "equal", "authority", or "superior" in relation to "us". These terms do not apply in my mind, and it helps that they do not apply in his mind either. What is better... Hot/cold, wet/dry, or soft/hard? I think that we could say these things define each other... one if not better than or more than another. It is a "wholeness" of being together that defines our dynamic. I am a submissive that does what I am told because I derive joy in this. I am an over thinker...lol.. I think it takes an over thinker to know an over thinker... and desertdancer, I think you over think this "equal" word. At times we need to let things just "be" for our happiness to fulfill itself, and if this is the only thing causing you some trepidation in your relationship you are the luckiest submissive on CM...and you are such a sweetheart you deserve that happiness too! Edited because I missed your second post dancer.... I am glad you worked it out

Noah -> RE: Equals? (7/1/2006 12:07:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania DesertDancer, Since you have been here even longer than me I do not need to tell you how controversial the word "equal" is here...smiles. My dom sees me as his equal in some ways, his inferior in other ways, and is superior in still other ways. We are equal in what we offer each other. He gives me as much as I give him, but what we give is different... It is even hard to fathom a "measuring" of it. I find I do not think about "equal", "authority", or "superior" in relation to "us". These terms do not apply in my mind, and it helps that they do not apply in his mind either. What is better... Hot/cold, wet/dry, or soft/hard? I think that we could say these things define each other... one if not better than or more than another. It is a "wholeness" of being together that defines our dynamic. I am a submissive that does what I am told because I derive joy in this. I am an over thinker...lol.. I think it takes an over thinker to know an over thinker... and desertdancer, I think you over think this "equal" word. At times we need to let things just "be" for our happiness to fulfill itself, and if this is the only thing causing you some trepidation in your relationship you are the luckiest submissive on CM...and you are such a sweetheart you deserve that happiness too! Edited because I missed your second post dancer.... I am glad you worked it out Hear hear, Julia. I'm also glad to see that this has resolved the way it did. When two flesh and blood people are busy doing actual things together, finding their own kinds of pleasure and meaning in it, and the evil cricket of ontology perches on one of their shoulders and whispers a question about what this "IS" or what they "ARE", the cricket should be pinned up over the door and left as a warning to any equally pointless theoretical questions that may someday come chirping around. chop wood carry water give thanks repeat

desertdancer -> RE: Equals? (7/1/2006 12:19:14 PM)
Your quite right Juliaoceania, I used to never be an over thinker, it's a trait I picked up from Master. I agree completely, this is about the whole, and I lost tract of that over one word that struck me wrong. To be honest, I am feeling quite silly about that, because honestly, your right, this has been the only issues of trepidation for me in a long while. He and I fit so well that we battled a lot of issues early on and now are just fully enjoying each other. We fought a lot of demons to get to where we are and shame on me really for getting caught up in one word. * blushes bright pink* Master is off to another country and I've had a little to much time on my hands I think! Luckily for me our time apart is almost over and we're soon to be together again. YAAAY! And when we are together again, I'll be to busy following orders to be over thinking things! * giggles* ~dancer

juliaoceania -> RE: Equals? (7/1/2006 3:06:19 PM)
I over think everything.. in fact I was just told last night that I think too much... and I do.. nothing wrong in that because I find it superior to not thinking at all (WEG).. and Noah... this is very much the way it is "chop wood carry water give thanks repeat" At the end of the day the wood will need to be chopped again, we will run outta water, but we should be so thankful when we have others that lighten our burdens no matter what they may be.

MissStevie -> RE: Equals? (7/2/2006 1:52:55 AM)
dancer~ On a different level~you were equals before you were D/s. So while you have made the choice to give him the gift of submission, for D/s sake, allow him to see you as an equal in life in general. He may be doing so out of respect. And, you surely would not want a Master that did not respect you, for if you did, love would not be part of the equation. My husband and I are both of the Dominant nature~him getting my coffee for me in the morning used to drive me absolutley nuts, because we are "equals". He does it because he loves me, and because it is his small way of spoiling me, not because he is submissive. Is a bit different than your situation, but in a way the same. I learned to bite my tongue and allow him the freedom to do small things for me. sounds as if you should allow your Master the freedom of choosing whether or not you are equals on some or all levels. To allow yourself self turmoil over it could kill a fantastic relationship.Just my opinion. Best wishes~ Miss Stevie~

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