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how to keep my submissive nature - 9/4/2013 1:38:38 PM

IronSub

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Joined: 8/21/2013
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I have been submissive male for years and am now finally acting out on it and attempting to become a sissy gurl. An issue I have is after I orgasm I loose my submissive nature and instead have an intense feeling of guilt, shame, and embarrassment. I have a master who is aware and as I would love to become his sissy slave gurl I definitely need to fix this first. I am discreet and live with people (including a girl I see) he knows this but I need something I can do to help with this issue.

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RE: how to keep my submissive nature - 9/4/2013 1:44:56 PM

OsideGirl

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You're confusing being a bottom in a kinky sex session with submission.

Behaving submissively is easy when it's doing something that we want to do. It's when we get to the things we don't want to do that the rubber hits the road.

So, I would suggest that you either remind yourself that this is what you signed up for and walk the walk. Or accept that you're not really submissive and that you're happiest being a bottom.

And the bottom line is: If you're not comfortable in your own skin, you should probably work on that before becoming involved in a relationship.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 9/4/2013 1:46:02 PM >

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RE: how to keep my submissive nature - 9/4/2013 2:21:47 PM

JeffBC

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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
You're confusing being a bottom in a kinky sex session with submission.

I agree. And there is nothing wrong with being a bottom. Isn't that what most people are... by FAR? How many lifestyle people are there really and how many of those do something roughly akin to TPE?

Why isn't it just fine to say, "I like to get dressed up because it makes me all hot and then when we're done playing we go back to regular life."

If I were IronSub I'd be trying to be more "me" and less like "someone else".

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RE: how to keep my submissive nature - 9/4/2013 6:55:32 PM

sunshinemiss

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While guilt, shame, and embarrassment can all be seen in negative terms, for some people they actually are flags to tell us what we are doing is wrong. I would first want to know that... am I doing something that I believe is wrong? Personally, I usually think of my sexuality in terms of me plus the person I am involved with (when I am involved with someone). To have a sexualized relationship outside of those parameters, that is with a "master", would make me feel those things in a red flag kind of way. I would need to be honest with my sweetheart about my own sexual proclivities and perhaps share them with my sweetie if that person were open to it. In order to feel right about getting busy with someone else, I would need to know this person in real life and have my sweetie's blessing as well. But that is the direction of MY moral compass. Perhaps yours points in a different direction.

The other thing is that a lot of online folks... your "master" is online with you, yes?... well, how to put this delicately? They are full of crap and just want to use new folks and get their rocks off. Nothing wrong with that kind of relationship if it is your intent also. I would warn you though to be careful. Don't lose your common sense in all this. There truly are mean spirited, hateful people who will deliberately try to hurt a person, there are people who just want to use you, and there are good, decent folks. Be careful to think with the big head.

Best wishes and good luck,
sunshine

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RE: how to keep my submissive nature - 9/4/2013 7:45:05 PM

littlewonder

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You're a bottom and you feel guilt because you're cheating on the girl you are seeing. You should feel guilty.

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RE: how to keep my submissive nature - 9/5/2013 1:56:19 PM

kiwisub12