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Getting a subbie started - 11/16/2004 1:03:24 PM

bdsandm

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/3/2004
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I found a new girl that appears to have the making of a good sub. She has some hang-ups with bdsm from what she has seen in movies, etc... I explained to her that bdsm is not really like the shit you see in movies... What are some ways that I can get her into the scene??

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RE: Getting a subbie started - 11/16/2004 1:41:27 PM

sweetpleaser

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Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
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Does she seem to be in tune with her sexuality? Is she open for various play with toys? Ask her what gets her hot to scout how she might feel toward the BDSM stuff. Does she like the idea of bondage? What could be a hang up is the pain aspect of S&M. She may say no way now but want it later. Give her safe words and she may want to experiment. You must communicate always. Make sure she knows that you will respect her wishes so she will trust you. Always be SSC.

Be prepared if she never embraces the lifestyle. Can you continue a relationship with someone who rejects BDSM? Good luck to you.

< Message edited by sweetpleaser -- 11/16/2004 1:43:19 PM >

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RE: Getting a subbie started - 11/16/2004 3:32:45 PM

MissP

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Try going to munches and fet fairs so that she can meet a few people and get to socialise with BDSMers first. Once she sees we're all "normal" people, she may have a more positive outlook.

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RE: Getting a subbie started - 11/16/2004 7:08:37 PM

sub4hire

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Not that it matters a whole lot but what movies has she seen BDSM in? I know there are some out there..but they are few and far between. Plus if she has seen a lot then was'nt she interested? Since BDSM is not in every movie ever made?

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RE: Getting a subbie started - 11/17/2004 12:33:34 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
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go to a few local Munches.. once she meets people that act like people then she wil perhaps ask you when you both can go to a party..
then go and just WATCH.. then talk about it lots...

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RE: Getting a subbie started - 11/17/2004 12:39:03 AM

Lordandmaster

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Joined: 6/22/2004
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She's going to "get into the scene" if she wants to, and not if she doesn't want to. So although there are some places you could take her if she's amenable to it--a d/s club is an obvious destination--the basic desire to get into the scene has to come from HER.

Why not just talk to her and try to seduce her? That's my MO. It often works.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsandm
What are some ways that I can get her into the scene?

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RE: Getting a subbie started - 11/17/2004 1:30:40 AM

bdsandm

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What is a munch??

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RE: Getting a subbie started - 11/17/2004 2:13:00 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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A munch is a casual lunch or dinner in a public location with people who are interested in BDSM. Here is a great link for you to read and find out what munches are about: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Munches

*smiles* I just went to check your location so I could give you munches in your area.. you're a local boy. Pleasure to meet you. I suggest you join BDSM West Ygroup and more importantly, So Cal SM Events Ygroup There are other local links in my Ygroup, under the Orange County/LA/coastal So Cal BDSM folder

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