RE: I want to be a good master (Full Version)

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peope -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/7/2013 2:04:57 PM)

I think you did an admirable job in putting yourself out there.
Telling what you want and asking for help.

It is sad to see people posturing and trying to look big.

Everybody starts somewhere.
Trying to learn as you do is the best way.

And yes. A good character and good values is not something you train.

Best of luck
// Peo



Kana -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/8/2013 5:17:33 AM)

quote:

It is sad to see people posturing and trying to look big.

It's sad that you see things that way.I see a bunch of well meaning strangers, most of whom are board regulars, offering quality advice.There's likely less posturing here than almost any thread made today.

But then again, we see the world we create in our heads...



Gauge -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 12:02:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: peope

I think you did an admirable job in putting yourself out there.
Telling what you want and asking for help.

It is sad to see people posturing and trying to look big.

Everybody starts somewhere.
Trying to learn as you do is the best way.

And yes. A good character and good values is not something you train.

Best of luck
// Peo


No one has put the OP down or insulted them. In fact, some have put out some very memorable advice.

Learning as you do is fine, but with the plethora of resources available to someone interested in learning more about BDSM and being a dominant, it would be foolish not to take some time and read and learn from the experiences of others. Kind of like taking apart a car engine... sure, I can do it, and I will learn as I go... but can I put it back together and have the engine work? Could I sit there and read some technical manuals so I could educate myself so that my chances of success would be greater? Of course I could.

There are definitely things that you must learn by doing, but without an idea of what it is that you are doing and the right way to do it and being able to do it safely, then all you are doing is flying blind. I would not attempt fire play without first researching it... why? Well, there is the possibility that someone could get very badly hurt or I could burn the house down... or something stupid like that. Without a frame of reference, some of the activities that fall under the title BDSM can potentially injure, maim, or, in the extreme, kill someone.

I am not saying that flogging someone needs instructions because that can be figured out pretty easily, but suspension of another human being? Yeah well, you had better do your homework.



JeffBC -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 7:12:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peope
It is sad to see people posturing and trying to look big.

I suspect you have misinterpreted. There is not one big "BDSM culture" where all these words mean the same thing. So let me divide them up for you.

Master: Someone with long years of experience in the leather community and community recognition of their masterocity (LOL)
Master: Someone who has mastered a wide variety of sadistic skills
Master: Someone who has mastered a wide variety of dominant relationship skills
Master: Someone who owns a slave
Master: Someone who owns a sub
Master: Someone who owns a bottom
Master: Someone who intends to own a sub/slave/bottom

So when someone says, "I want to be a good master" I have this swirl in my head that basically says, "I want to be good at various SM techniques and I want some girl to call me 'master' -- whatever that means to her". How the hell do you even answer a question like that so I give the answer from my own viewpoint which is that of a slave owner.... and yes... I acknowledge "master" to include "intended destination"

Surely though, you can see how those in the first few categories I listed would talk about years of experience. Given how THEY are using the word that'd make total sense.

quote:

And yes. A good character and good values is not something you train.

Really? Where do you think that comes from then? I can't hardly believe we're talking genetics.



Arturas -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 7:48:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: canigia

I am new at this and want to take my first slave and I would like someone to help me to be a good master, thanks.


There are no slaves. Be a great man and she will be a great woman.

hmmm...is there more to say? Nope, that's about it.



SerWhiteTiger -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 12:41:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

There are no slaves.


Yes, there are.



Arturas -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 12:44:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

There are no slaves.


Yes, there are.


Show me.



SerWhiteTiger -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 12:59:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

There are no slaves.


Yes, there are.


Show me.


collarme.com



SerWhiteTiger -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 1:01:13 PM)

Oh wait, I see, you're using a different definition of "slave" than everyone else and pointing out that you're doing so for no good reason other than to troll people. Sorry, I should have known.



OsideGirl -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 1:06:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

Oh wait, I see, you're using a different definition of "slave" than everyone else and pointing out that you're doing so for no good reason other than to troll people. Sorry, I should have known.



There are several of us in the forums that dislike the use of the word "slave". We respect the fact that those who wish to call themselves slaves, do so...and they respect the fact that some of us believe that using "slave" in a consensual relationship is not right.



LadyPact -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 1:21:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
Show me.

You might want to have a talk in your household.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3470822


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

This is star Master's slave,

As we all know, we can enjoy one thing and hate it at the same time. Depends on the situation. Did he "play" spank me, or punish me... is it you to decide? There are so many on here who know the difference in the two. Warming up, not warming up.....etc etc etc etc..... UGGGGGG ok back to your disagreement with Master on everything He says..... (riduculous)

Happy Holidays!!
Master's ~star~

Whether she is a slave or not is something the two of you should figure out. Funny thing was, she even used your account to say so.



SerWhiteTiger -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 1:21:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

Oh wait, I see, you're using a different definition of "slave" than everyone else and pointing out that you're doing so for no good reason other than to troll people. Sorry, I should have known.



There are several of us in the forums that dislike the use of the word "slave". We respect the fact that those who wish to call themselves slaves, do so...and they respect the fact that some of us believe that using "slave" in a consensual relationship is not right.



Oh, I understand, just as I dislike the use of the word "sadist," which I don't think is right to use in a consensual activity. That doesn't mean you just blurt out "there are no slaves" to someone who's using the term in the other fashion. If Arturas wants to talk about it, he should start a thread about it and not just interject it into the middle of what someone else is talking about.



OsideGirl -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 1:29:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

Oh wait, I see, you're using a different definition of "slave" than everyone else and pointing out that you're doing so for no good reason other than to troll people. Sorry, I should have known.



There are several of us in the forums that dislike the use of the word "slave". We respect the fact that those who wish to call themselves slaves, do so...and they respect the fact that some of us believe that using "slave" in a consensual relationship is not right.



Oh, I understand, just as I dislike the use of the word "sadist," which I don't think is right to use in a consensual activity. That doesn't mean you just blurt out "there are no slaves" to someone who's using the term in the other fashion. If Arturas wants to talk about it, he should start a thread about it and not just interject it into the middle of what someone else is talking about.


Artie can fight his own battles as to why he said it.

But, I will say this. your opinion not more valid than his....but your posts read like you seem to think it is.



SerWhiteTiger -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 1:45:08 PM)

Which opinion do you get the impression that I think is more valid than his? The opinion I'm communicating here is that it's inappropriate to tell people who are using the word "XXX" in one context that there is no such thing as "XXX" when you're using an entirely different usage of the word. I haven't even seen him disagree with this opinion yet.

Personally, it seems to me that he's the one communicating that his opinion that "there are no slaves" is more valid than our usage of the word slave. I mean, why else say "there are no slaves"? From my point of view, you're accusing me of doing what I'm actually pointing out that Arturas is doing and mocking him for.

On the other hand, I did basically the same thing in the thread in General about the word "breaking", but I at least pointed out that I was just kidding and that I realize that different people use these words differently and that my definition isn't really any better than anyone else's, it's just about the impression I get when someone else uses the word.



Kana -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 1:49:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
Show me.

You might want to have a talk in your household.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3470822


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

This is star Master's slave,

As we all know, we can enjoy one thing and hate it at the same time. Depends on the situation. Did he "play" spank me, or punish me... is it you to decide? There are so many on here who know the difference in the two. Warming up, not warming up.....etc etc etc etc..... UGGGGGG ok back to your disagreement with Master on everything He says..... (riduculous)

Happy Holidays!!
Master's ~star~

Whether she is a slave or not is something the two of you should figure out. Funny thing was, she even used your account to say so.


And this is why ya never spat with a Leather Mistress



SerWhiteTiger -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 2:14:12 PM)

FR,

It's basically like someone saying "I love unicorns," referring to a bisexual person who's just dying to be a third in a relationship, and someone responding with "there's no such thing as unicorns," referring to the fantasy creature. Okay, sure, but we're not talking about the fantasy creature, so why are you? Your statement that there are no such thing as unicorns is obviously true, but in stating that, you're clearly trolling or ignorant. Does me pointing out that this person is trolling mean I'm trying to communicate that my opinion is more valid than theirs?



VideoAdminChi -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 2:42:33 PM)

FR,

Alrighty then, please move semantics to a new thread and remember that other posters are not the topic (except for the OP, who has specifically asked for advice.)



OrionTheWolf -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 3:21:25 PM)

Have you never known someone that is subservient to a person? If you have not then I can understand you perspective. Just because you have never seen it, does not automatically mean it does not exist.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

There are no slaves.


Yes, there are.


Show me.



tammystarm -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 3:22:19 PM)

...



angelikaJ -> RE: I want to be a good master (9/9/2013 3:43:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

Oh wait, I see, you're using a different definition of "slave" than everyone else and pointing out that you're doing so for no good reason other than to troll people. Sorry, I should have known.


NO, I hardly think there are multiple definitions appropriate to this context. There are no slaves in BDSM and therefore the OP need not waste his time on something that does not exist. I gave advice he can actually use since one can "enslave" a woman's heart and mind and body by being the man she needs.



This is not a thread on semantics.

If you, Arturas, wants to begin one, have at it.

I am [my] Master's slave.

There are people other than yourself who would have difficulty with that definition, especially since His first directive to me was: "You never give up the right to say "No.".".
Oh and I have safe words.
Our relationship is defined by us.
And it has been working for us since 2009.

Back to the OP:
Be someone who is trustworthy and inspires obedience.
Communicate well.
Some people find this to be helpful:
http://www.cnvc.org/about/what-is-nvc.html


edit: missing word



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