Sub Drop and Handling It

Sub Drop and Handling It (Full Version)

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TieMeInKnottss -> Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 5:42:00 PM)
So there was another posting where the discussion of "sub drop" came up (& thanks to Oside for the interesting article that led me to ask this question)... Do you experience sub-drop every time you play? How do you "come back to earth"? I have started to realize that some of my reactions and feelings are obviously drop and now try to counteract it. Any "bad" trips?

kalikshama -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 5:50:41 PM)
I used to experience sub drop immediately afterwards until I learned to have vitamin water, chocolate, and nuts on hand. Before that, yes, some bad trips years ago - I was definitely driving home impaired, once while on fumes and unable to recognize the gas stations in time to pull in to them. My reaction time was way off. I also get sad a few days afterwards, which I manage by seeing him midweek, only that didn't happen this week or last, so I'm managing by weeding the garden (cardio) and reminding myself that I will see him tomorrow.

MizzSpitfire -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 5:52:08 PM)
No, not every time I play. It depends upon the scene, who I play with, how deep into the scene I space, and how the aftercare is handled. Bad drops are usually helped by being kind to myself... eating, a warm bath, extra sleep, a talk and a hug with my Dominant, etc. Those "bad" trips have been anything from feeling mildly disturbed to crying uncontrollably or even feeling flu-ish. In the role of Dominant myself, I make sure my bottoms are well cared for after a scene, with chatting, cuddling, and physical tending to wounds, as well as staying in touch by phone or net.

DesFIP -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 5:54:04 PM)
Every time? No. The more intense play is, then it's more likely. If I have to drive afterwards, even for just ten minutes then yes. I do find it helps to consider pre-play care, not just aftercare. Did you have a good night's sleep before? Were you properly nourished, not skipping meals? Fully hydrated. We use up a lot of body and brain chemicals during play. The easier it is to replace them, the easier it will be on you. So if you skipped meals then it will be a while until you can get your blood sugar up to proper levels again. It takes longer to rehydrate than to dehydrate, so make sure you don't start out dehydrated.

OsideGirl -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 5:59:17 PM)
I don't get it every time and over the years together, Himself and I have figured out how to minimize it. The first is something sweet (Fruit, candy, a cookie) right away to minimize the blood sugar drop. Lots of water or Gatorade. My drop will usually hit 24 - 48 hours after playing. During that time I drink a lot of water, up my caffeine by one, and avoid carbs and alcohol. There was one drop within the first year we were together that we hadn't been paying attention and I lost it. I was crying and throwing things. He figured out it was sub drop, drew me a bath with lavender and gave me a chocolate shake....I evened out, but it taught us a lesson to plan for day 2, not the moment the scene ended.

kyraofMists -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 6:05:20 PM)
I'm trying to remember but I cannot recall a single play where I have experienced sub drop. Even the one play that he ended early because things weren't going right mentally for me, I did not have sub drop. Maybe he is just a fluffy top ;)

NuevaVida -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 6:53:19 PM)
I haven't had it with the Mister. We rarely play very hard (even though "hard" is relative) but even when we have, I haven't experienced it. Maybe because of the care I get throughout the relationship, as well as after? I really don't know. With the ex owner, I would experience horrible sub drop, and it was up to me to work my way out of it. Sometimes it would take me a week or so. Sometimes I would go to very dark places. I don't recommend this approach.

SubvsSlave -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 7:07:23 PM)
Like others have mentioned before me...I don't experience sub drop every time; and when I do, it's usually been after an intense evening with my Master. He takes wonderful care of me afterwards by making sure I drink a decent amount of water and allowing me to stay in my happy place, safe and secure in his arms. By now he knows that I'm pretty much out for the count and I fall into a heavy sleep afterwards. I've experienced one time where the feelings were so emotionally intense that I completely broke down sobbing right in the middle of us being all hot and heavy. It wasn't a "bad" drop as in I was scared. He just took me somewhere deep and close and the intensity of the moment hit me full force. He just held me and stroked my hair and was a soothing balm to my raw nerves.

DanielleofMists -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 8:09:20 PM)
I have never experienced sub drop. I've experienced lack lustre play and afterwards thought well that sucked but it didn't really impact me or have any sort of negative effect, I just brushed it off. In good play I usually feel pretty dreamy, glazed over, happy and satisfied and it slowly wears off within a couple hours but I feel energized afterwards, not any sort of drop or bad reaction. In terms of "come back to earth" I just go about regular putting around the house, or spending time visiting with friends or just my regular sort of activities. I'm not one who needs cuddling, caressing, special care or attention just give me some water and let's chat about the fun I/we just had!

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/5/2013 8:17:47 PM)
With my ex, I had sub-drop after every time. He did not "do aftercare" ( & yeah, we were dating but he was not a big believer in "PDAs" physical displays of affection. Even holding hands in the car or the mall was a "no go") and I think that made it worse. My current guy is more in tune with me and I don't seem to have the same severe or lengthy drop as before except the one time that I wrote about.

itsjustroxanne -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/7/2013 10:42:04 AM)
"Aftercare" is a bid component.... There was one time that stands out in my mind... After play...it was just cold.... His reaction. I remember crying when he left. It's was weird.... Difficult to handle. Taught me to be stronger. I told him that if aftercare was not provided or something he could not provide ,that i could no longer see him. Never realized ....how real sub drop was until then.....

Kana -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/7/2013 12:39:27 PM)
I try to beat her daily. That way I never drop! But kidding aside, not making light of a serious thing, sub drop can be brutal. Chocolate, affection, proximity are the keys. I like to keep her close, fell flesh on flesh. Grins I'm a greedy pig and a dom, so I have her rub me when we're done. Just the constant touch locks her in, brings her up slowly, gives her a lifeline to grab hold of on the rough climb up. Plus we communicate a lot in the days to come (As always. No change from routine there). It keeps us locked in on us.

NuevaVida -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/7/2013 1:49:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Just the constant touch locks her in, brings her up slowly, gives her a lifeline to grab hold of on the rough climb up. I never realized just how important and effective this was for me until the Mister came along. He has me do the same. Not even just after playing hard, but if I'm having a hard time about anything - particularly if we're working through an issue together.

Kana -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/7/2013 3:54:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Just the constant touch locks her in, brings her up slowly, gives her a lifeline to grab hold of on the rough climb up. I never realized just how important and effective this was for me until the Mister came along. He has me do the same. Not even just after playing hard, but if I'm having a hard time about anything - particularly if we're working through an issue together. In the end I think everything we do comes down to that simplest and most needed of human interactions, touch. It's amazing how important that simple action is for a relationship

DesFIP -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/7/2013 6:00:46 PM)
I can't touch The Man directly after play. He's always covered in sweat and I'm ice cold. He'll cuddle me about 20 minutes later, after he's cooled down and toweled off. But not for long, because I'm under a quilt and he can't stay under there. For drop later or the next day, I find it's helpful to realize when I'm beginning to feel rocky and grab a handful of chocolate chips. If I can ward it off, that's easier than trying to cure it once it's really hit.

littleone35 -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/7/2013 6:46:48 PM)
I only expereinced sub drop once. Master knew the signs he gave me water some chocholate and lots of cuddling to keep me warm. I came out of it never happened again. So i guess it was just a combations of thinng taht caused it to happen. . but now to be ionthe safe side we are always prepared. Matt's littleone

jola37 -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/8/2013 2:28:51 AM)
I am new to this expression I must admit, but I can see what it means. It's a natural lull after major excitement, I guess the drop could be bigger the longer the session was. I'm sure it's no different to any other kind of drop, be it parachuting, motor racing, athletics, a performance etc. After some big gigs playing my drums, if I'd really given it my all, then I'd need to find a quiet place on my own for half an hour to come back round. I used to go into a darkish place, not dark thoughts but a feeling of being totally drained and vulnerable. I think these drops are actually quite healthy as, for me anyway, keep things in perspective and put my feet back on the ground. What goes up must come down ;-) I'm not doctor of course but it could also be that where you have endorphins rushing about, you get accustomed to it and when play is over, you have to become re-accustomed to not having the endorphins. I come back to earth after bdsm by just being a chill as possible for 15 mins, like giving yourself a chance to catch up. If I were a red wine, I'd be letting myself come up to room temperature ;-) I ignore my first feelings of being ok and wanting to get up and do something and wait a few more minutes, just to make sure am back to being nicely relaxed:-) I think it's important to give yourself this time to 'recover'. In some ways, for all the agro the being non vanilla can cause us, there are good bits too. I think we're lucky that we can find such releases and highs of emotions just with subtle D/s dynamics, with out the need for getting wasted or something involving high risk (i.e.parachute jumping). Having a healthy respect for the fact we are delicate organisms should hopefully keep play within the bounds of enjoyment and be a rewarding experience. One of the most important lessons I've been reminded of here, for I often forget it, is to not take all this too seriously in the first place :-) j

Kana -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/8/2013 5:25:59 AM)
quote: with out the need for getting wasted or something involving high risk (i.e.parachute jumping) You have obviously never met Maria. Or lots of others here.Playing with them(Hello RS) is a high risk activity, certainly not recommended for non risk takers. makes BASE jumping look silly... quote: Having a healthy respect for the fact we are delicate organisms should hopefully keep play within the bounds of enjoyment and be a rewarding experience. Point of truth, for many people, the fact that play won't be kept in bounds, might transgress what most would regard safe and sane, yeah, that's what makes it exciting

NuevaVida -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/8/2013 9:05:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana In the end I think everything we do comes down to that simplest and most needed of human interactions, touch. It's amazing how important that simple action is for a relationship Agreed. A 20 year marriage in which touch was mostly denied left my psyche in pretty bad shape, to say the least. I speak for myself here but I have come to realize that touch is a need in my life. Particularly within an intimate relationship. The ex owner rarely touched too, which made those drops so damn hard. For me, touch is an emotional nutrient.

jola37 -> RE: Sub Drop and Handling It (9/8/2013 9:46:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana You have obviously never met Maria. Or lots of others here.Playing with them(Hello RS) is a high risk activity, certainly not recommended for non risk takers. makes BASE jumping look silly... Lol, what sort of risks do they pose?

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