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RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/27/2014 10:13:49 PM

frunandsins

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Breaking someone for the sake of breaking them seems pointless to me.

Breaking them to then rebuild them to be a better person, yes. That'd be worthwhile, IF YOU CAN MANAGE IT.

People are not toaster-ovens. You take them apart, you can't always put them back in the right order, let alone a better order. Doms who are confident that they can probably are delusional. Maybe a few selected talented Doms can do this, over a protracted period of time, working on a sub. But a pro? In a pay-to-play context? No. A hundred times a thousand times no.

And no, beating you till you're past your pain limit and start to convulse is not "breaking" you. It's just lazy Domming. Who can't do that? Give a 5 year-old a baseball bat and blindfold his eyes and tell him he's whacking a pinata and you get the same results.

YMMV.

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RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 12:03:39 AM

FightingChains

Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
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Breaking someone's endurance? I want it that hard or you're not going hard enough.

Breaking someone of a habit? That's fair enough.

Breaking someone psychologically? This is dangerous. Ask any psychologist and seriously they'll say this is not only dangerous, but it might be considered highly unethical. Break them to be rebuilt how? How you want them? How is that fair on the sub anyway? And if you're in a relationship, shouldn't you want them as they are, for the most part? And so you want to break and rebuild these people... can you be sure you can put the pieces together again? It's looking at the edge of edgeplay and right on the cusp of sheer abuse, stupidity, untold risk, and I do not care what you say, you could be destroying a life. Dom, sub, master, slave, who cares? You may-as-well commit murder because if you cannot put that person back together again, then by all means you are destroying a life.

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Post #: 22

RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 12:38:22 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Miyani

~FR~

Yeah, I like breaking him, sometimes. I like hurting or hatefucking him until he's a crying, shaking ball on the bed, and I see genuine fear in his eyes. When I'm done, he either gets snuggled, or he gets to hear me get up and leave the room, where I go relax on the couch with a drink until he crawls over and puts his head in my lap. At which time he gets snuggled. And after we do that? He has never not thanked me, and never not actively initiated that kind of play again.

The thing is, I like doing this because it's something that thrills and energizes both of us. The getting up and leaving thing? I did it the first time because he mentioned that was an aspect of some of his fantasies. If I were playing with someone I didn't have a complete, loving relationship with, especially if that person was a client (because keep in mind, you are her client, nothing more) and didn't express sincere interest in that kind of play, it would never happen.

If it something you are interested in exploring, which it doesn't sound like you are, talk it through first. Make sure she knows what's not ok, and make sure that part of the service she offers is aftercare. Breaking someone is no fun, and no good, if you don't then help bring them back to themselves.

I really love the beauty in this in particular. Part of why the D/s relationship is so attractive. Ha, someone wrote something like this, it was out of alleged "frustration" and sounded like completely breaking in a sub. I usually only reserve this kind of play for experienced masochists. I'm hoping I can thoroughly break my first sub in as a rite of passage. I'll find out soon enough. I really have the urge to be sadistic with him. :-)
My second is a compliant adorable puppy, I don't know if I would ever want to see his excited nature diminished by something unnecessary.
I would never be a pro but even if I was, I don't think I'd care as much to pay such careful attention to a sub specific. Hopefully it means she might actually like you. I wouldn't recommend otherwise. Only you know if she does outside of the business relationship. Otherwise it might be an excuse to simply fuck you up which should cause warning bells to go off.

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Post #: 23

RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 2:47:23 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: frunandsins

Breaking someone for the sake of breaking them seems pointless to me.

Breaking them to then rebuild them to be a better person, yes. That'd be worthwhile, IF YOU CAN MANAGE IT.

People are not toaster-ovens. You take them apart, you can't always put them back in the right order, let alone a better order. Doms who are confident that they can probably are delusional. Maybe a few selected talented Doms can do this, over a protracted period of time, working on a sub. But a pro? In a pay-to-play context? No. A hundred times a thousand times no.

And no, beating you till you're past your pain limit and start to convulse is not "breaking" you. It's just lazy Domming. Who can't do that? Give a 5 year-old a baseball bat and blindfold his eyes and tell him he's whacking a pinata and you get the same results.

YMMV.

I found that when most people say breaking, they don't really mean it, they mean until somebody cries and a lot of people want to cry in a scene because it is cathartic.

As for beating somebody, depends, there are a few leather butts where you might have blisters on your hands before they're "done" or even near their limit, you can't whack away because you might damage something, I hate it when people say "breaking" because that implies damaging, but I guess it sounds much more dramatic and cool than saying "Please bring me to the point of tears!"

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RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 3:03:19 AM

FightingChains

Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
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heh if that's what you mean by breaking, I want to be beyond that.

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Post #: 25

RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 10:58:28 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
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From: Dante's Inferno
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Ha Fightingchains, Miyani described it beautifully. It's more than crying, it's panic, fear, his expressions become desperate and WILD. :-)
I work out a LOT, specifically strength and interval training because my domming requires quite a bit of strength, endurance, stamina etc. Someone who is physically my counterpart is ideal. Suspension is something I can do without assistance for example.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

heh if that's what you mean by breaking, I want to be beyond that.

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Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

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Post #: 26

RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 8:46:55 PM

bowedB4Women

Posts: 45
Joined: 2/7/2014
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quote:

Well, I guess we're not right for you then, excuse me
while I cry into my pillow, because obviously the
Dommes are cuing up to break you in ways you desire,
enjoy...

Lol, never said I wouldn't endure it, the implication is that I would surely avoid it.

With pain the breaking point has a lot to do with self pity in my opinion,.just seems to me pain threshold should be greatly increased in an "erotic" scenario, or really just a desire to not disappoint.

I also don't believe every person could be brought to this concept of "sub space" to me sub space must involve a willful surrender, it can't be forced.

my previous notions of "sub space" must be off.

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Post #: 27

RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 8:49:56 PM

FightingChains

Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bowedB4Women

quote:

Well, I guess we're not right for you then, excuse me
while I cry into my pillow, because obviously the
Dommes are cuing up to break you in ways you desire,
enjoy...

Lol, never said I wouldn't endure it, the implication is that I would surely avoid it.

With pain the breaking point has a lot to do with self pity in my opinion,.just seems to me pain threshold should be greatly increased in an "erotic" scenario, or really just a desire to not disappoint.

I also don't believe every person could be brought to this concept of "sub space" to me sub space must involve a willful surrender, it can't be forced.

my previous notions of "sub space" must be off.

I experience subspace through force, or at least what I consider to be a version of it, for what it is worth. Things start forced and then fall into subspace as I endure.

< Message edited by FightingChains -- 3/28/2014 8:50:25 PM >

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RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 9:26:27 PM

bowedB4Women

Posts: 45
Joined: 2/7/2014
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I have never endured like this, so kinda hard to see it, don't argue that the desire to avoid pain, so follow instructions becomes more desirable.

How would you describe sub space? A broken slave? My idea has ways been a sub who is having his will.completed by fulfilling Hers, it is all propagated through sex drive,.enter chastity, T&D.

but I am learning, so I ask.

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RE: Breaking a Slave - 3/28/2014 9:43:03 PM

FightingChains

Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bowedB4Women

I have never endured like this, so kinda hard to see it, don't argue that the desire to avoid pain, so follow instructions becomes more desirable.

How would you describe sub space? A broken slave? My idea has ways been a sub who is having his will.completed by fulfilling Hers, it is all propagated through sex drive,.enter chastity, T&D.

but I am learning, so I ask.

Personally? I change from responsive and disliking what I'm going through to... An odd state where the only thing that matters is he's getting what he wants. The pain feels sort of numb and unimportant and distant, and I'm sort of lost in the other person being the only thing that matters. It's almost lightweight and relaxing and it feels at that moment it's all I was ever supposed to be about. I get this way after certain different painful things. Mostly whips and CBT and painful anal play. It's a very unique experience, and it kicks in rather rapidly after it starts. It's like... Falling.

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Post #: 30