LadyPact
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I have a few questions for the women on these boards, that it is time they are answered, I am sure the other males around here are curious as well.
I will break them down to specific categories.
Bathroom.
1) what difference does it make how the toilet paper goes on the roll? For that matter what is wrong with leaving on the counter beside the sink, it is still within reach.
It's to stop from smacking your hand on the wall when it's rolled under. God help you if I break a nail in doing so. And, by the way, I stand 5'2" so depending on what you consider "within reach" to you might not be to Me. For the record, MP is the bigger TP nazi in our house.
2) Up or down, what difference does the toilet seat make? Ladies, there is this neat thing in physics called kinetic energy, tap the toilet seat and it falls down, simple kinetic energy. Okay so you have to over come inertia, it is not like the act takes more than a few ounces of force, think of it as exercise.
I take it you've never encountered that 'sinking feeling' in the middle of the night.
3) Why exactly does it take you women so freaking long in the bathroom in the morning. Shower, five minutes, add hair wash another six minutes, brush teeth five minutes, apply make up, ten minutes unless the woman is using a trowel. That comes to 26 minutes. So what are you doing with the other 30 minutes?
It's a hair thing. The hair has to stay in the towel for roughly ten minutes. Kill the tangles, at least another five minutes. Mousse application, blow drying, and styling. That's an easy thirty minutes right there.
Bedroom
1) If it is a kingsize bed there is plenty of room. Cuddling is cool, however, do you understand the law of physics about two objects not being able to share the same space? Keep moving closer to us after there is physical contact, we are gonna move, eventually off the bed.
I'll give you this one because I prefer having My own side of the bed to Myself as well.
2) What is the function of making a bed in the morning? Okay, straighten the sheets, covers, pillows, we are not having a military inspection after all.
It gives Me a shot at an even playing field of getting to keep the damn sheet and him a fair shot at the blanket that I like to steal.
3) At most, you use two pillows at night, now would you explain why putting a dozen pillows on a bed that are just going to be thrown on the floor to make room for people to actually sleep in the bed.
You get this one, too. There are exactly four pillows on our bed. (Two per person.) We won't talk about how many pillows I have on the couch.
4) Closet space.
A. Five pair of jeans, four nice shirts, three flannels for winter, one nice jacket for formal wear, work boots, dress boots, tennis shoes. Add to that three or four sweat shirts, six pocket tees, and a few wife beaters. One complete wardrobe.
So explain the necessity of a wardrobe that will allow you to change outfits, shoes and purses four times a day every day of the month. Do you really need all those clothes and shoes?
Yes, I really do need the clothes and the shoes. There are work clothes, cleaning clothes, candle making clothes, clothes that are for going out in, and by the way, did you happen to forget My leather?
B. Why does the closet space ratio regardless of how many closets in the room always seem to be 75 to 1 in favor of women?
Ha! I got ya! We have more closet space in this house than we've ever had before. We both have equal closet space in our bedroom and the spare bedroom upstairs. A third closet is all of the winter coats and *his* uniforms. Yes, he actually has more closet space.
Kitchen
1) why do we need a plate or paper towed to make a sandwich on? If the counter is clean, why dirty up a plate?
Because if you leave crumbs on My clean kitchen counter, you are at the risk of bodily harm. (I'm kind of surprised you asked this one, considering other threads regarding your kitchen.)
2) what is the problem with keeping the coffee pot full?
The only reason I even own a coffee pot is for when people come over. The first ten years MP and I were together, we never owned one because neither of us drink it. If you want the coffee to be any good, you might want to consider making it yourself if you visit.
3) what is the difference between good china (only used for holidays) and the every day stuff?
Generally? Cost and quality.
4) why go ballistic if a guy grabs a fork, pokes something in a non stick pan to taste it?
Because if you scratch that teflon, thereby making future foods stick to the pan, which also makes them harder to clean........ Again, risk of bodily harm is involved.
5) why does a coffee cup we always use need a complete wash at the end of the day? what is wrong with rinsing it out?
Because it's disgusting. Even though we don't drink coffee, there are at least twenty cups in this house. While yours is in the dishwasher, I'm pretty sure you can find another one.
(Are you noticing a theme with the kitchen answers?)
Dining room
Why is it so important where the silverware goes?
You're really asking this of a formal protocol type person?
General
1) Just because your mom, friend from work, whoever, why is it so important for me to change shirts? So what if it has stains that wont come out from working on cars? Are you trying to fix us up with them so we have to make a good impression?
That has everything to do with Me not wanting to listen about what a bum you looked like when mom/friend/whoever came over.
2) We put down cardboard, with a towel on top of that, plus an old sheet, so why get spastic because we are rebuilding a carb on the coffee table while the game, race, or victoria's secret special is on?
That's because I don't want My living room smelling like a dang carburetor for the next three days. There isn't enough pledge and fabreeze in the house to remove the smell any sooner than that. Oh, and if you scratch it, you're buying Me a new one.
Finally
You knew we did these things before you decided we were "the one" so why are you making a fuss after you move in?
The truth is that most males are 'fixer upper' opportunities. We women already know this. We also know that, sooner or later, you're going to get tired of listening to us bitch and just accept our reprogramming of you. The little stuff, you'll just find that it's easier to just do it and keep the harmony humming along.
I hope this was informative.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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