RE: needs help

RE: needs help (Full Version)

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JeffBC -> RE: needs help (9/13/2013 6:41:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle The best rule here I can think of is that she is absolutely forbidden to say, "I want a spanking." The punishment for breaking this rule is, of course, a spanking. ROFL, Oh that is SOOOooooo devious. +1

areallivehuman -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 4:52:37 AM)
Since you're the dominant, you could say "I'll spank you when I want, for no other reason than I enjoy it."

Mylittledream -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 8:04:11 AM)
It seems to me that you have to conduct the game. If you accept everything she wants, you'll be only her "giver of orders", but you'll only help her to make her fantasies come true, you won't dominate really her. I think that you must talk with her, listen what she wants, decide a safeword, but then you must decide how to dominate her. I had a very bad experience, one year ago, with a slave like these(it was my first time... so young :) )...

DesFIP -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 8:39:21 AM)
So because she says she isn't submissive and doesn't want a power relationship, you think he should nonconsensually force her to submit? It appears that he isn't so much dominant as a spanko and wants a good, mutually satisfying spanking relationship with him as top and her as bottom. And why shouldn't they do that, when it's what they both want?

Mylittledream -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 8:46:57 AM)
I didn't say he should do it nonconsensually. I only said that he must have the control of what's going on, he should not leave it to her. Or she'll only use him for her fantasies and he won't be satisfied.

Kana -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 9:12:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StephenSpanks56 Hello, I have recently been talking with a bottom, claims not to be submissive,need some help on establishing some good rules. Stephen Bottoms don't need rules. Only bedroom play.

LadyPact -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 9:22:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mylittledream I didn't say he should do it nonconsensually. I only said that he must have the control of what's going on, he should not leave it to her. Or she'll only use him for her fantasies and he won't be satisfied. How do you know that? If it's a case where the bottom line is that she wants to be spanked (even though there's some game playing mixed in) and his reason for wanting to play with her is so that he gets to spank, where's the part that he's not going to be satisfied? A lot of people can have mutually beneficial play, Myself included, where we can negotiate what that play is going to be so that we are both getting what we want out of it. When I top people in casual play, it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I happen to be Dominant. It's just because I'm doing it for My own enjoyment.

Musicmystery -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 10:36:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StephenSpanks56 Hello, I have recently been talking with a bottom, claims not to be submissive,need some help on establishing some good rules. Stephen Well first, you too need to have a conversation. And second, understand that in this relationship, you are serving her, not vice versa. Just so you know.

DesFIP -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 1:09:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mylittledream I didn't say he should do it nonconsensually. I only said that he must have the control of what's going on, he should not leave it to her. Or she'll only use him for her fantasies and he won't be satisfied. Where did he say that? Where does he say he doesn't want to fulfill her fantasies as well as his? And that fulfilling her will automatically leave him unfulfilled? And where does he say he must have control? Because apparently I read a very different post.

RedMagic1 -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 1:33:23 PM)
I've told this story before, but it might clear up some misconceptions a few posters have about whether the spanker always has to be in control. I used to date a femdom who loved to be spanked. The more her ass stung, the wetter she got. So we would get naked, and she would get on top of me and do stuff, while I beat her bare ass. It fed both of us, and was a lot of fun. Was she in charge even though her ass was red? You know what? Neither of us cared, as long as we enjoyed it.

SerWhiteTiger -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 2:34:50 PM)
I see bottoms in control as often as tops. D/s and topping and bottoming are two different things.

sunshinemiss -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 6:15:42 PM)
Sunny Quote of the Day goes to mnottertail for good girls get spanked, bad girls get ignored, massively. and to LadyPact for the bottom line is that she wants to be spanked [sm=crop.gif] http://www.collarchat.com/m_4545068/mpage_2/tm.htm

crazyml -> RE: needs help (9/14/2013 11:43:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman It can literally begin and end with, "Were you a good girl or a bad girl today?" Don't make things overly complex, especially if you're just starting out. Yeah I can vouch for this. My take was to look her in the eyes and say "Do you need to be punished?"

Kana -> RE: needs help (9/15/2013 7:30:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml quote: ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman It can literally begin and end with, "Were you a good girl or a bad girl today?" Don't make things overly complex, especially if you're just starting out. Yeah I can vouch for this. My take was to look her in the eyes and say "Do you need to be punished?" Oooh,they don't like that. They get all blushing and twisty and squirmy, start staring at their shoes cuz they don't wanna say the words,make the self admission. it's so much easier when he's"making" her do something she "doesn't like" Which, of course, is why I adore doing it

crazyml -> RE: needs help (9/15/2013 8:14:17 AM)
<tips hat>

tsatske -> RE: needs help (9/16/2013 6:41:24 AM)
quote: My take was to look her in the eyes and say "Do you need to be punished?"

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: needs help (9/16/2013 7:14:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle The best rule here I can think of is that she is absolutely forbidden to say, "I want a spanking." The punishment for breaking this rule is, of course, a spanking. ROFL, Oh that is SOOOooooo devious. +1 I'm never devious. But, I will never cease to be deviant.

LadyPact -> RE: needs help (9/16/2013 11:25:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Musicmystery Well first, you too need to have a conversation. And second, understand that in this relationship, you are serving her, not vice versa. Just so you know. Hello, MM. Always a pleasure. For what it's worth, I never feel like I'm "serving" the casual bottoms that I play with. I wouldn't be engaging in activities if I wasn't getting something out of it and having fun. If anything, I'm serving Myself and doing the things that I enjoy.

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