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RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 5:49:40 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

The truth of the matter is that owning is at least as much work as being owned.



I've said this before. The leash has two ends and both people are tethered to it, which is why I have no interest in D/s.

Except when she is bent over and taking a good thrashing of course.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 5:50:00 AM   
zenofeller


Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline 		actually, the way you make it out, owning is the only thing that actually does take work. i don't see touchy-feely new age The Seven Pillars of Submission reading

A submissive is a follower, but never a blind follower. But to follow requires understanding, and understanding requires arrogance.

(yea, i know understanding doesn't require arrogance. it doesn't require humility either, but the second somehow sounds good so everybody quotes it)

A submissive is humble, but never grovels. Such humility requires dignity, and dignity requires arrogance.

A submissive is ruled by respect, but never fear. But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires being on top.

A submissive bows to strength, but never force. Which requires flexibility, and flexibility requires superiority.

A dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.
(I'm letting this stand on it's own just to exemplify the sort of hilarious idiocy that passes for wisdom lately. A dom never derides huh. Oh noes!)

A slave receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires ownership.

A slave waits to be completed, but never tries to alter himsself. But to be complete one must actually be something to begin with, and this most of all requires [insert random deep crud].

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 5:54:13 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		Yep. Real doms are saints.

(and if you believe that you will believe anything)

(in reply to zenofeller)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 6:05:57 AM   
Mistrix


Posts: 186
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline 		Yes I agree with that and speaking for my self I find that deep inside my spirit I am very humble.  I have also noticed that many dominants come from poor upbringings , making us appreciate things and understand life in a different way.  More gratitude per se.  To be a great Dominant onemust know what it is to be truly submissive. 

_____________________________

I am a Woman, above everything else.

One is too many and a thousand is never enough.

(in reply to gardenbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 6:10:00 AM   
zenofeller


Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistrix
To be a great Dominant onemust know what it is to be truly submissive. 


Yup, most certainly. Also, to use the fridge one must know really how a fridge compressor works, and why compressed gasses adiabatically expanded lower temperature. To drive a car properly, one must have been run over. To be a competent carpenter one must have been a tree (like in a previous life, right ?).

(in reply to Mistrix)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 6:10:55 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Most of the people I choose to surround myself with are humble in the correct context. Not that most are not confident or sucessful because they are, they just know that the world truely does not revolve around them and reflect that quiet self confidence and a wonderful sense of humour. I don't think it is exclusive to lifestyle BDSM dominants, but many people.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/1/2006 6:12:08 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 6:14:22 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Some doms are awesome and are humbled at times.  Some doms are awesome and are arrogant at times.  A person's personality has nothing to do with their orientation.

I think it's more important to understand when to be humble and when to be arrogant more than anything.  And that has nothing to do with being a dominant.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to gardenbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 6:17:33 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		The Dom/mes I have the most respect for are the ones who have a good grasp of who they are but are not arrogant about it. Their behavior is self-assured, not arrogant. They do not need to demean someone else to feel good about themselves. They can lambast idiocy but are gentle with the naive and unlearned. They are not arrogantly demanding everyone fit into their mold. They are who they are, dominant, but they behave with class and elegance which does not include being an arrogant SOB.

{Note to self: Add "not arrogant" to list of characterics I'm looking for in a Dom}

(in reply to zenofeller)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 6:19:51 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Suffice to say that a person who cannot recognize his faults, who cannot admit his mistakes or refuses to correct them, who believes the world is only her world, who does not understand dominance should not be exerted, but ooze, who cannot be honest with herself about herself...

is no dominant.

The line between dominant and domineering is so very thin, but exists all the same.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 6:40:54 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gardenbluebird

One thing that I have found to be consistently true is that the most truly outstanding dominants I have met are quite humble at the core.  It is not immediately obvious, but underneath the charisma and confidence there is a person of quiet fortitude and simple humility.  Have others found this to be true as well?


I don't think it's limited to dominants.  Just about every outstanding person I've met in my life has been humble.  It may be that being so far up the mountain lets one see how much further he or she has to climb.  It's the ones at the base, who have "conquered" the foothills who brag.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to gardenbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 6:46:55 AM   
sabswife


Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gardenbluebird

One thing that I have found to be consistently true is that the most truly outstanding dominants I have met are quite humble at the core.  It is not immediately obvious, but underneath the charisma and confidence there is a person of quiet fortitude and simple humility.  Have others found this to be true as well?


i totally agree, but it also helps that my Dom holds these qualities

_____________________________

"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."


(in reply to gardenbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 7:03:08 AM   
MistressRage


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline 		As I think about the Dom/mes I know one thing comes to mind- if you didn't know they were into bdsm you might never have guessed. They do have something "different" about them but you wouldn't immediately picture them in leather swinging whips around.
Not only are they humble people but they are usually quite funny too. The best Dom/mes I have ever met have also been the nicest, funniest and least imposing people I have ever met.



_____________________________

Mistress Rage
~outRAGEous~

I don't always return to a thread. It's usually best to message your replies directly to me.

(in reply to gardenbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 7:15:57 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressRage

As I think about the Dom/mes I know one thing comes to mind- if you didn't know they were into bdsm you might never have guessed. They do have something "different" about them but you wouldn't immediately picture them in leather swinging whips around.
Not only are they humble people but they are usually quite funny too. The best Dom/mes I have ever met have also been the nicest, funniest and least imposing people I have ever met.




Aaahhhhhhhh there is the sense of humour again! There is hope for me yet!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MistressRage)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 7:27:02 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Sometimes, confidence and the lack of exhibitionisn or narcissim seem to be taken as humility.

(in reply to gardenbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 10:00:16 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		While success in work or business can speak a lot about a person, it doesn't necessarily speak of the kind of person they are; it merely speaks about their ambition and drive. Who are these people behind closed doors? I can think of a couple of incredibly successful people who are/were not-so-pleasant (Hitler being one). I can also think of some truly wonderful, inspiring people who didn't/don't have jack squat to their name (Gandhi and Dali Lama).

Plus, this was an opinion question...and, as always, we have different opinions on what makes a great person.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 10:04:40 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		MstressPassion ty for sharing i loved the link and it says so much to my heart in how i feel about the Doms in my life. 

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 10:20:00 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I am not attracted to boastful people of any sort.

It is wonderful when someone's spectacular qualities shine through and you have to ask them about how they got the way they are. You may get told about their education, family values, charity work, or their devotion to a cause... but it is these things that make someone worth knowing, and they do not have to be revealed the first time you talk to someone, but as you get to know them as a human being. My dom is very humble about many things... It is one of his qualities that is my favorite.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to gardenbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 12:01:11 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I think humble is probably a great lure. I think sometimes it can exude quiet confidence, (and who wants to listen to a consistent braggart anway)? As far as whether that is truly the personality trait that actually is operating underneath the surface, I am with Padriag on this one.

- Susan   

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/1/2006 12:02:07 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to gardenbluebird)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 12:04:18 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I like humble. I have seen so many egocentric all about me Doms that humble like SusanofO said is very alluring. At least in my eyes. It provides this comfort to know that while he has confidence in his abilities he doesn't need to flaunt them to any and all.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Humble Dominants - 7/1/2006 12:24:25 PM   
zenofeller


Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
I think humble is probably a great lure.


and if it fails at being a lure, it can always be an empty meme. being humble here is not unlike cutting for emo kids.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 40
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