It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (Full Version)

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Kirata -> It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/17/2013 3:24:14 PM)


Excerpts from a lecture delivered by Saudi cleric Muhammad Ali Shanqiti...

Every Muslim man gets at least two black-eyed virgins in Paradise. Each virgin comes with 70 servants girls. You are permitted [to have sex] with the virgins as well as the servant girls. For every woman from this world who enters Paradise, you get 70 black-eyed virgins.

There are four types of women in Paradise. First, there are the women of this world who enter Paradise. Each one comes with 70 black-eyed virgins. The second type of woman in Paradise is the black-eyed virgin. Each comes with 70 servant girls. These servant girls are the third type. Sorry, there are only three types of women in Paradise.

If you get married in this world, then [in Paradise], you get your wife from this world, along with 70 black-eyed virgins with whom you are allowed to have sex, and each of these 70 virgins comes with 70 servant girls.

So how many women do you get? That's the minimum.

Now, let's assume that you are married to four wives, each of whom comes with 70 black-eyed virgins, and each virgin comes with 70 servant girls… How many does it come to? God help you.

Your reunion [with your wife] lasts for 70 earthly years. When the 70 years are about to come to an end, another black-eyed virgin calls to you from above: "Oh servant of Allah, don't we get a piece of you?"

You turn to her, and you see that she is more beautiful than the woman you are with. You ask her: "Who are you?" and she says: "I'm your virgin in Paradise. Allah told you about me, saying: 'There is more of them with Us'. I am one of the 'more'."

You leave that one and move on to the next. God help you…

You spend 70 years or so with her, and along comes the third, saying: "Oh servant of Allah, don't we get a piece of you?" You look at her, and she is even more beautiful than the one you are with.

It must be getting more difficult to find jihadists these days.

Source

K.



Missokyst -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/17/2013 4:14:45 PM)

That many women in one household? My god if I were a man I would hang myself from the rafters and be damned.



metamorfosis -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/17/2013 4:25:20 PM)

Kits, cats, sacks, wives. How many were going to St. Ives?



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/17/2013 6:29:33 PM)

Wait a minute!!! Just because I have green eyes I am a second class citizen and have no place in "paradise"?



LookieNoNookie -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/17/2013 6:32:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


Excerpts from a lecture delivered by Saudi cleric Muhammad Ali Shanqiti...

Every Muslim man gets at least two black-eyed virgins in Paradise. Each virgin comes with 70 servants girls. You are permitted [to have sex] with the virgins as well as the servant girls. For every woman from this world who enters Paradise, you get 70 black-eyed virgins.

There are four types of women in Paradise. First, there are the women of this world who enter Paradise. Each one comes with 70 black-eyed virgins. The second type of woman in Paradise is the black-eyed virgin. Each comes with 70 servant girls. These servant girls are the third type. Sorry, there are only three types of women in Paradise.

If you get married in this world, then [in Paradise], you get your wife from this world, along with 70 black-eyed virgins with whom you are allowed to have sex, and each of these 70 virgins comes with 70 servant girls.

So how many women do you get? That's the minimum.

Now, let's assume that you are married to four wives, each of whom comes with 70 black-eyed virgins, and each virgin comes with 70 servant girls… How many does it come to? God help you.

Your reunion [with your wife] lasts for 70 earthly years. When the 70 years are about to come to an end, another black-eyed virgin calls to you from above: "Oh servant of Allah, don't we get a piece of you?"

You turn to her, and you see that she is more beautiful than the woman you are with. You ask her: "Who are you?" and she says: "I'm your virgin in Paradise. Allah told you about me, saying: 'There is more of them with Us'. I am one of the 'more'."

You leave that one and move on to the next. God help you…

You spend 70 years or so with her, and along comes the third, saying: "Oh servant of Allah, don't we get a piece of you?" You look at her, and she is even more beautiful than the one you are with.

It must be getting more difficult to find jihadists these days.

Source

K.


It's all about the tits.



littleone14 -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/17/2013 7:57:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis

Kits, cats, sacks, wives. How many were going to St. Ives?


That's what was running thru my head as well!



jlf1961 -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/17/2013 8:05:21 PM)

Presently I say I am catholic, havent been to mass since my mom died.

About this 19,604 virgins, that is considered paradise? They have to learn everything, especially about not using teeth during a blowjob.

Muslim fanatics are dieing for this?

Again you people call me crazy.

Now, K, just what started you on this mathematical quest to prove paradise is not paradise?



Kirata -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/18/2013 6:14:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

what started you on this mathematical quest to prove paradise is not paradise?

Well first of all, I didn't check the math. And secondly, I am not prepared to agree that being surrounded by sexually available women doesn't have some trappings of a paradise. Aside from that, I just thought it an amusing addition to the exceedinly long and growing list of bizarre claims made by clerics of various stripes, and a pleasant relief from the uglier ones in the bargain.

K.



MercTech -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/18/2013 12:43:38 PM)

And being virgins I suppose one is required to have to train them in how to please. Sigh, and they must be slow learners if it is purportedly will take 70 years each.

Tongue firmly in cheek,
Stefan



ivone57 -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/18/2013 1:24:18 PM)

i personally dont think a man would want that many women in their household even if they are virgins... just think there will never be a day when someone or alot of them are not pmsing...wahahaha...



eulero83 -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/18/2013 1:38:08 PM)

I'm not an islamic religion expert, but for what I know the virgin thing is not about "never done sex" but it's more like you can fuck them how much you want but their hymene will never broke or will rebuilt or something like this, they are "perpetual virgins", that's what my religion teacher told us in high school. But I think you can ask your local Imam he will be very happy to answer this question. So even if you could speed things up with a group seminar that seems futile to me as you are gonna spend the eternity with them, for what I understood it's not needed as as a matter of fact they are just the tightest whores you could imagine, that makes more sense that fucking them one time and than throw her away like a paper handkerchief.



Moonhead -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/18/2013 1:51:25 PM)

Isn't there a suspicion that "virgin" is a mistranslation for "sherbert"?



eulero83 -> RE: It could actually be as many as 19,604 virgins... (9/19/2013 2:45:36 AM)

by the way checking the math every man gets 2 virgin that comes with 70 servants each, for every woman that you owned in this life you get 70 virgins and each of them comes with 70 servants, so considering only the virgins you get: 2 + 70*(wives' number) so 4 wives means 282 virgins, considering instead every fuckable woman it's 2 + 70*2 + (wives' number) * (71*70 + 1) that again thinking af the full set of 4 wives resoult is 2 + 140 + 4*4971 = 20026



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