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R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 7:19:39 AM   
SweetAngel43211


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/27/2013
Status: offline 		One of my good friend's brother died last night under tragic circumstances. He made it back from Iraq alive and then found out that he had lost the right to see his son. He couldn't take the idea that he would never get to see his only child again and did something he can never take back.
He will be greatly missed!
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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 7:46:31 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		My condolences for your loss and may God have mercy on his soul.






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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 7:51:35 AM   
FelineRanger


Posts: 658
Joined: 9/4/2012
Status: offline 		I am very sorry to hear of the loss. But please forgive me if I also show more than a little anger at the cowardice of robbing him of the right to see his son. As a former serviceman myself, I think your friend's ex (baby mama, WTF-ever) should be tried for treason for using the blatantly discriminatory custody laws against a soldier that way.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 8:02:22 AM   
SweetAngel43211


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/27/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you both for your replies. I agree that what his ex did was very wrong. He was an awesome man and a great father and he didn't deserve to lose his son this way. I only hope he is at peace now.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 12:16:04 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		What a tragic decision he made. I am sorry for your loss.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 12:30:28 PM   
SweetAngel43211


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/27/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you. I feel so bad for his son... he is only a year and a half old and won't even have memories of his dad to fall back on in the future.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 1:12:53 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Very sorry for your loss. A tragedy all the way around.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 1:47:41 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I've never heard of this before - a father who's refused all contact with his child. I don't know if it happens here in the UK but, whatever, it seems utterly inhumane.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 1:59:53 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		I'm so sorry to hear this...I hope he will rest in peace...

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 2:12:59 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I've never heard of this before - a father who's refused all contact with his child. I don't know if it happens here in the UK but, whatever, it seems utterly inhumane.


If the parents aren't married, then the farther can only gain parental rights if he is jointly registered on the birth certificate or he has a written agreement with the mother. Failing that its a court order but that takes time and money.

Its time the law changed and fathers had more rights. The CSA are quick enough to take a big percent of their earnings.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 2:14:15 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I've never heard of this before - a father who's refused all contact with his child. I don't know if it happens here in the UK but, whatever, it seems utterly inhumane.


My friend made quasi-suicidal statements in writing to his ex, who took them to court and got a temporary order stopping visitation. By discussing issues other than visitation with her, he had violated a restraining order (which had been amended so that they could better co-parent.) Her lawyer filed a criminal contempt charge. In order to make that go away, he agreed to permanent no visitation.

I have been encouraging him to get therapy and revisit the visitation issue with testimony that says, "Yes, he was distressed in April, but is fine now and is no danger to self or others." (Which is true.)

I am also encouraging him to go back to work so he can afford a lawyer, but he's rather dysfunctional (but not dangerous) so that's not happening.

Now, his ex is amenable to dropping the restraining order, but he feels this is a trap. I think she's looking for a baby sitter, now that her boyfriend has left her.

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 9/19/2013 2:27:36 PM >

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 2:36:32 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

If the parents aren't married, then the farther can only gain parental rights if he is jointly registered on the birth certificate or he has a written agreement with the mother. Failing that its a court order but that takes time and money.

Its time the law changed and fathers had more rights. The CSA are quick enough to take a big percent of their earnings.


Visitation is much easier to come by in the US. In my personal experience, non-custodial parents often can't be bothered to fight for their rights. (I was gender neutral on purpose.)

I have heard a lot of men make the same child support/visitation connection you made - however, these are two completely separate issues. Payment of child support does not entitle visitation.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/19/2013 2:43:59 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		We also had a friend who had his visitation rights removed when the mum found herself a new man and wanted him to be the kids 'new daddy'. He couldn't see the children he loved and yet he was expected to pay something like 15% of his salary for the first child and 10% for the second. He killed himself.

Its bloody tragic imo.

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RE: R.I.P. :-( - 9/21/2013 5:19:33 AM   
TheBanshee


Posts: 403
Joined: 7/19/2007
Status: offline 		I'm sorry for your loss, but he was obviously unstable and maybe he shouldn't have had contact with his son for that reason.

Threatening suicide to get something your way is emotional blackmail. It shouldn't be entertained.

Suicide is not honorable. It should never be romanticized.

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Profile   Post #: 14
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