what am i doing wrong ?

what am i doing wrong ? (Full Version)

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justalovinggirl -> what am i doing wrong ? (9/21/2013 11:41:35 PM)
What am i doing wrong how can im improve my profile and better my chances of actually meeting someone real and that is more of what im looking for

myotherself -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/21/2013 11:48:56 PM)
Your profile needs to reflect you, not just your kinks. Having read it through, if I was a horny male looking for some down and dirty fun I'd think you were up for the same. You talk only about your kinks, not about you as a person. What are your hobbies? Do you work? What films do you like? What are you looking for in a partner outside of the bedroom? Oh, and the journal entry about the last time you had sex? I'd remove that if I was you. Again it gives the idea that you are all about the sex and nothing else.

justalovinggirl -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 2:49:56 AM)
Thanks

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 2:51:40 AM)
Turn your photo the right way round. Maybe even take one where you are smiling? Your profile text is badly written, I have corrected it for text speak and grammar below. I would also recommend you put one or two details about what kinks you actually like so that they know where to start with you. Pretty much I just want to be in a safe place, be cared about and allowed to submit to someone patient and reasonable. I am looking for someone somewhat healthy and not too much older than me, who has more or equal knowledge about the lifestyle, who's open to my kinks and willing to do them with me or to me. I'd also be open and willing to your kinks - maybe not all but a fair amount, as the same with mine (if they're not the same but hopefully they are the same). I don't care much how you look but I do have to be attracted to you, and you to me. You'd also have to be taller then me, which is five foot five inches, and most men are I think. I am sorry, I just like tall men. Don't hate me for it! You need to be real and willing to put me in my place, because I'm not always sweet or submissive and need a caring, firm hand to lead me back into my place, which is all I can really ask for other than the limits I have. If you want to know more you're going to need to speak to me. I can prove I'm real if you need me to and you can do the same. I'm not looking for someone because I need someone. I need a true, real dominant man to serve and submit to, because it's who and what I am.

DarkSteven -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 3:12:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justalovinggirl What am i doing wrong What is it that's going wrong? Not meeting anybody, meeting women instead of men, meeting men who are subs... what's the issue? Also, what means are you using - online only, going to munches, etc.? quote: how can im improve my profile Well, MOS has a point. If you're looking for lots of meaningless sexual encounters and spanking sessions, it's great. The question is, what exactly are you looking for? Also, definitely delete the " gotta love it when your crawling away saying please wait please i can't take it and end up taking it anyway" bit. That is a clear signal to rapist types that if you say No, you don't mean it and it's okay to press on anyway. Delete the last two 9/10 entries. If a predator read them, he'd see that if there's a problem, you'll blame yourself entirely. That shows you as very easy to manipulate in an unhealthy manner. The 9/19 entry dwells on a failed relationship. Bad thing to dwell upon. The basic issue I have with your profile is that I'm an engineer and like direct talk. "someone some what healthy and not too much older than me and has more or equal knowledge about the life style" "Somewhat healthy" - how healthy do you want? "Not too much older than me" - replace with a definite age range, say 20-28. "More or equal knowledge" - specify how much, say at east six month experience in the lifestyle. "and that's open to my kinks and willing to do them with me or to me id have to be open and willing to your kinks maybe not all but a fair amount as the same with mine if they're not the same hopefully they are the same" - unnecessary. If he's reading your profile, he'll see your list of kinks. If he's not, he won't see that sentence. "i don't care much how u look but i do have to be attracted to you and you i " - Just say "Mutual attraction is important", if you feel that needs to be stated. "And be taller then me i am sorry i just like tall men Dont hate me for it and i said taller so u don't have to be any taller than five foot five inches Most men are i think " - Just say "be taller than 5'5". " "be real and willing to put me in my place cause im not always sweet or submissive and need a caring firm hand to lead me back in to my place " - Aside from the "be real" part, which I don't understand, this is very clear and well done. "all i can really ask for other than the limits i have" - I don't know what you're trying to say here. "but if u want to know more your going to need to speak to me i can prove im real in u need me to and can do the same " - I can't understand the second part of this. The first part seems to say that you want RL only, and want online chat and email to not last long. Is that it? "and im not look for someone cause i need someone ii need a true real dominant man to serve and submit to " - You're saying you want a real Dom but don't explain what you mean by that. Maybe "I want someone who's comfortable being in control and making decisions. What we eat for dinner, what I wear, etc. Someone who's either a fulltime student or employed." quote: and better my chances of actually meeting someone real Please let us know what the problem is. Are you not meeting anyone? Are you simply emailing and phoning, with no actual meeting? Are you meeting people that are not real? If so, what do you mean by "real"? quote: and that is more of what im looking for Welcome to collarme!

justalovinggirl -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 3:52:18 AM)
I made some changes what do you think now and thanks for the help and idea my problems where in finding people that where only about sex and not really kinky or that think im a door mat and a lot older and spoke to me anyway they want and had no respect and just very demanding

justalovinggirl -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 3:55:54 AM)
Also im using a cell phone to get on here and so a lot of my writing is crappy andgrammer and i don't really go well sadly but true

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 4:17:34 AM)
There are still numerous typos. Also, I went through your pics, and I most strongly suggest removing the tit and ass pics, unless you want to attract those only interested in your body. BTW: If I were you, I'd change my user name, the just in your nick scream low self esteem, at least to me. I agree about the face pic with the smile, you have a good one -- make it your primary pic. You are a gorgeous young female, you get to be picky, very picky, about who you choose to even talk to. Set some firm boundaries for yourself. Like, if they want to get you on IM or the phone right away, or push you to send naked pics, that's a red flag. Block and delete are your friends. If they are pushy about asking for your sex fantasies, same thing. Would you share that with a stranger you met at a party? This is no different. You are still looking for a relationship. It should be based on mutual trust and respect, no one gets to be pushy until you decide you want to begin a relationship with them. Look for someone who wants to know you as a person. Then get to know them as a person. And if they don't want to meet soon, like a in couple months, ask yourself why. Welcome to the forums. This is a great place to learn.

justalovinggirl -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 4:40:19 AM)
Oh i don't just give my im and # out to any one and i just love showing my body off i think part of my problem is that and i am very open cause yes i am someone that would tell a stranger things like that about me and think it odd if they don't share lol But im just open i know my submission is a gift and i am the only one that can choose who is worthy of it or not this i completely understand i run in to a lot of "dom"that don't understand that and i have no issue setting that straight With them if i feel things are getting out of hand or in a wrong way and to me my profile name says a lot about me as a submissive not that that's all i am and i do understand how it sets a off sort of sound I thought it was cute and sweet

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 4:44:48 AM)
As you wish.

justalovinggirl -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 4:44:57 AM)
And thank you i really like seeing your points of view it puts a different tent to things thats forsure lol

justalovinggirl -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 4:51:00 AM)
And i do agree about a mutual liking of each other and a bond and trust i could not completely submit or really enjoy playing with a person if i didn't have some sort of trust in them or a bond with lots of trust and common ground between the other and myself but i also am a bit wild and free with my words and do understand that i come off way different to others i just don't all the time know where im going wrong

DarkSteven -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 6:59:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justalovinggirl my problems where in finding people that where only about sex and not really kinky or that think im a door mat and a lot older and spoke to me anyway they want and had no respect and just very demanding Unfortunately, that's the nature of the online beast. Lotta men who think that sub women are easy and desperate to suck the cock of any man who calls himself a Dom. Also, who think that D/s is only kinky sex, and don't appreciate the mental aspects. Also, I repeat my earlier suggestion - I'd remove your last two journal entries. They tell me that you'd be easy to manipulate into thinking that any issues are your fault.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 8:21:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justalovinggirl Also im using a cell phone to get on here and so a lot of my writing is crappy andgrammer and i don't really go well sadly but true Just because you are using a cell phone is no excuse for laziness and sloppy grammar. Again, there's no excuse for sideways photos either! And I go with all the other comments too. I didn't even bother reading the text or the journal entries. Just the way it's written and the photos would be enough to put me off.

Missokyst -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 9:02:48 AM)
I'd probably rethink the "submission is a gift" as your premise to submission. Dominance is just as much of a benefit to submission. quote: ORIGINAL: justalovinggirl i know my submission is a gift and i am the only one that can choose who is worthy of it or not

kalikshama -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/22/2013 11:51:56 AM)
quote: my problems were in finding people that were only about sex quote: i just love showing my body off You don't see a connection between these two issues? Hint - you're sending mixed messages.

littleone14 -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/23/2013 6:40:17 AM)
Your run-on sentences and spelling errors make it very hard to read. Try fixing that up. And like someone else said, doing this from a phone is no excuse. I'm typing this from a phone, and while I don't make any claims at being grammatically perfect, I don't think it's hard to read, either. You want someone to see your picture, be intrigued enough to read what you've written, and be intrigued enough by that to send you a message. But you're probably turning off a lot of potential guys because your profile is so difficult to weed thru......

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/23/2013 7:11:11 AM)
I understand it can be harder to type if you're on a phone or tablet, and I know that the rules of spelling and grammar are harder for some people than others, but if you want to be successful online you're really going to have to try very hard indeed. All people have to go on here is your profile - if it's hard to read or sloppy, it will put off the people you seek. Think of it another way: let's say you were applying for art school and had to submit a portfolio. Would you send blurry photocopies of your work and stuff you doodled on the back of the electricity bill? No. Because even if you are a wonderful artist, they can only see your portfolio and if it looks like you've been lazy with it, then that's what they'll think of you. If you're looking to find someone who is going to be important in your life, surely it is worth the effort of fixing things up? (Now for the record, your profile is much, much easier to read now than it was, but could still do with another pass over) As for the guys wanting sex issue - well, unfortunately that is a risk of the internet. Lots of people looking for a quick hookup and/or cam sex. You will get some of those people no matter what. Just stick to your guns; if that isn't what you want, just delete those messages. If you're getting a lot and it's bothering you, then think hard about the naked photos. Nothing wrong with wanting to show off your body, but for obvious reasons that will attract those people who are looking for a free cam show. You need to decide which you want more: to show off naked photos on your profile, or to get less people hassling you for sex. No wrong answer, but you can't really have it both ways. And some of your journal entries are probably not helping. You've got crying because you're a failure, then raging about time wasters, then posting what I think is a recipe for dog food....

Gauge -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/23/2013 8:12:33 AM)
First impressions of looking at your profile: 1. The sideways pictures are annoying. Either you do not know how to fix them or you do and you are lazy. Either way, fix them. 2. You really need to tell people about yourself FIRST, not last. You jump right in to submitting and ramble on about this and that... I have to admit, I lost interest at that point and began to just skim the rest. After I lost interest THEN you tell me about yourself and who you are. This is backwards. Get me interested in who you are, then I WANT to read on and find out about how you view your needs in the kinky world. 3. This setting here is largely a text base medium and therefore you need to be clear in what you write. Doesn't matter if you type from a phone, full keyboard or have to throw stones at a touch screen, clarity, grammar and flow are very important. What you have there needs to be reworked. If you do not know how to correct it for clarity and flow, I am sure someone would be willing to help you with that. 4. A few of your journal entries have me totally lost, which is not a surprise. I am sure that some of it is just you having fun or venting but what you write there is still telling me who you are, and currently it sounds like a jumbled mess. I am not saying you are a jumbled mess, it just sounds like it. 5. Your profile states you are willing to relocate, yet in your journal you say you are unwilling to relocate. I see that as a distinct problem. Based solely on your profile alone and nothing else, I would not contact you because of the above mentioned things. A profile should be almost a shopping list, who you are, things you like in normal life, hobbies, education, etc. See, in the first few paragraphs I can tell if someone shares my same interests in life and that is far more important to me because I seek a relationship. If we aren't compatible in our lives then the odds are likely stacked against us to begin with, and it doesn't matter what the kinky likes and dislikes are. However, if I get past that checklist and we share some things in common then I look at the kinky stuff to see what they say about that. You do as you wish, but you really need to take some time and rethink what it is that you really want to say to people... without saying it, but by how you present yourself.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: what am i doing wrong ? (9/23/2013 4:46:28 PM)
I agree with Gauge...your profile is REALLY difficult to read.. Writing whether for business or pleasure comes down to...grabbing and holding your audience. Identify your audience-if you are looking for love or relationship, don't open with sex or fetish talk- will lose those you want to attract & attract those you want to lose. Second part should be about you-vanilla you! Closing should tell what you are seeking-age, height, location.... Each part should only be two or three sentences-remember this is an "invitation to learn more" not a complete autobiography or a tirade about what you hate, don't want... your intent is to get those people who YOU believe are what you are looking for to SEE that YOU might be be what they are looking for..

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