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i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 9:54:40 AM   
slavejlb


Posts: 446
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings Master
this simple girl has a question, although she probley not going to get the answer is want to hear. but please do respond.
You have ( had) a slave she carries your name on her chest in the form of a tattoo. Because of stupidy on both the part of slave and Master you drop kick to the curb. basicly telling to get the "f" away from you and evey one whom you care about. Now a short time has past, and you are trying to rebuild the realtionship with your slave, but while you were sperated, she was free to roam, she has now meet not some who is going to be her Master, just someone she like talking to, ( one reason is she is not excalty what the other Master is seeking) but they have set up a play date. Do you as the old master trying to rebuild have the right to tell the old slave no, or that you want to know everything about the person who the played date has been set with. and also has set down guild lines.
i know this sounds confusing, and for that i am sorry, but there was no easier way i could form the question
take care and be safe
slave jlb
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 9:59:25 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Sure, I have the right to tell her no . . . and she has the right to tell me to go fuck myself.

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 10:00:51 AM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		This requires a little more background...

Did your "former" Master agree to let you play with others when you split up ?
Did you begin to "rebuild" your relationship before or after you set up the playdate with the other dom ?

In My opinion... if the former Master said it was "ok" to play and meet others *while you were rebuilding or even thinking of getting back together* Then he should honor that, at least this once... then change his mind... its the fair thing to do.
However... if you two had started "rebuilding" your relationship again... and THEN you made a playdate.. without prior approval of your former master... then I would understand completely if he were pissed and put his foot down... I would probably do the same.

Or I'd just tell you to go have fun playing... and to pack your things, cause you'd be staying with that play partner from there on out.

Just My view on it,
T.R.

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 10:02:49 AM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

Sure, I have the right to tell her no . . . and she has the right to tell me to go fuck myself.


My thoughts exactly..........................Perhaps you could combine the two gentlemen and see where that goes.

LOKI


_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 10:18:59 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear slavejlb, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Established as the relationship was, the "kick to the curb" to my mind's eye is that the relationship, duties and responsibilities between the Old Master and the slave *you were broken and separation was complete.
 
When you were not slave to anybody, you are responsible for your own business.
 
I am wary about dominants who iscolate slaves under majority of circumstances, with the exception of those people who can't be trusted.
 
If I had a slave that left and in the phase of returning back into the former relationship, I feel the two dominants need to chat and get where they're needing to be in dealing with the one slave.  The slave is not 'entirely' back into the collar and still free to make the choice of who she will participate with.  Having the two dominants talk to each other as to what is going on, dismisses any assumptions either man had prior to the play date.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 10:32:22 AM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		Do you wear the old Master's collar? No?

Then you are a free slave and under no obligation to the old.

"Kicked to the Curb" sounds like complete release to me and
I really can't understand why you would even think of going
back to him after being treated that way.

If he gets upset about what you're doing just remind him HE
released you and you are no longer his to command.

submission doesn't mean doormat
Domination doesn't mean Tyrant


_____________________________

Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 11:24:02 AM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		This may sound a little unorthodox, but sometimes not saying something is better than saying it.

If you are kicked to the curb, then I suspect and suggest you make your own decisions for the present.

In a not so simple answer yes, there could be repercussions, your play with the new incompatible Dom may drive the more compatible Dom away for 'his own' reasons, which may be based on your present and future actions... people are often weird as hell.




(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 11:38:34 AM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		So your here looking for people to say its ok? But you have been with the first Dom, you have to know how he will feel about the matter. Which i take he won't like it. So the way i see it you need to ask yourself if you really want back with him, and will this be the deal breaker for that or are you wanting to do this so it is the deal breaker and an easy way out. However it goes you are the one that has to account for it at the end of the day. If you do it will it get you where you want to be in life or just cause more problems you dont really want.

WWS

(in reply to MrrPete)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 12:37:10 PM   
slavejlb


Posts: 446
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Greeting Wayward Soul:
just so you know i was not looking for a patten answer, i was seeking guidence for my heart and mind. to be honest i am toring between my ex master wants and knowen we are trying to get back on the path. to wanting to play it has been a long while since i felt any aderline rush, or even the sense of being use in any sort of way.
take care and be safe
slave jlb

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 12:52:22 PM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Do you as the old master trying to rebuild have the right to tell the old slave no, or that you want to know everything about the person who the played date has been set with. and also has set down guild lines.

Absolutly and without hesitation, I would demand it. If the slave hesitated to comply, I would conclude that he/she was not very interested in rebuilding the relationship.

_____________________________

Chris



(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 1:11:01 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Hi slavejib
To me there is always the 3 sides of the story (ones view, the others view, and a a part of each of them that are the truth) and i can understand the wanting to play thats new and exciting and by reading your profile
quote:

Ps i am married, to a man i care for if this causes a problem i am sorry, but know that we have a very open and honest realtionship.
I don't see where this should really be a problem if I understand that right. Then again maybe the time isn't right for the play with the second Dom and will be after you get things worked out with the first.

I wish you the best WWS

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 3:59:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

probley not going to get the answer is want to hear. but please do respond.
You have ( had) a slave she carries your name on her chest in the form of a tattoo. Because of stupidy on both the part of slave and Master you drop kick to the curb. basicly telling to get the "f" away from you and evey one whom you care about. Now a short time has past, and you are trying to rebuild the realtionship with your slave, but while you were sperated, she was free to roam, she has now meet not some who is going to be her Master, just someone she like talking to, ( one reason is she is not excalty what the other Master is seeking) but they have set up a play date. Do you as the old master trying to rebuild have the right to tell the old slave no, or that you want to know everything about the person who the played date has been set with. and also has set down guild lines.
i know this sounds confusing, and for that i am sorry, but there was no easier way i could form the question
take care and be safe


Trying to rebuild means just that.

It means you aren't committed yet.

Frankly I think you should remove yourself from the dating and playing market completely for awhile until your world slows down a bit. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 7:31:33 PM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		My answer to your question is simple, I don't do playdates, and neither would a slave that I would own. There are way too many things out there that can be brought back for that now a days. If I had released a slave, and for some reason we were talking about me re-collaring her, which is a stretch for me.... once I release a slave she's usually not someone I'd care to own again, then if I found out she had scheduled a  play-date, then any futher talk of re-collaring would be over.  That's not to say that curcumstances beyond my knowledge might change any or part of this.

Be Well,
Darkside

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 7:37:08 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I agree.  You're not going to be able to have a successful relationship with ANYONE--your old master, this new guy, or anyone else--until you slow down a little and figure out where you are.  There's already more drama than most relationships can sustain.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Frankly I think you should remove yourself from the dating and playing market completely for awhile until your world slows down a bit. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 8:08:31 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		I can only reply from my point of view.

I had a girl in this sitation once,we decided to seperate for a while and think things over. She decided to be a slut and play around-almost immediately. While I kept to myself.

I heard about it third hand weeks later-I decided the players could have her.

(in reply to slavejlb)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 8:47:17 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		he relinquished all rights to your person at the "kick to the curb" incident....but there is good advice on this thread every one has a valid perspective read them all and mull it over...

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 8:58:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I can only reply from my point of view.

I had a girl in this sitation once,we decided to seperate for a while and think things over. She decided to be a slut and play around-almost immediately. While I kept to myself.

I heard about it third hand weeks later-I decided the players could have her.

Speaking as a slut and one who plays around- the real issue was her not being able to let you know what was going on.

Granted, 90% of people who get out of a relationship would do much better to take a breather than to jump into the water. 

But I bristle at the implication that being a slut and playing around is something you are somehow "better than."  I respect your choice to not be with someone who makes choices you don't agree with- but slutting and playing hardly takes someone out of the "serious long term relationship" field.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 9:03:10 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		LA It is a red letter day! I finally stumbled across something we disagree on. I think you have the advantage of being an HONEST poly person. I have many friends who married the local "sluts" and divorced them because they continued to be "sluts". I have no problem with anyone being a slut if that is his or her bag; it is the deception that irks me.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 9:07:28 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld
LA It is a red letter day! I finally stumbled across something we disagree on. I think you have the advantage of being an HONEST poly person. I have many friends who married the local "sluts" and divorced them because they continued to be "sluts". I have no problem with anyone being a slut if that is his or her bag; it is the deception that irks me.

Why do we disagree on that?  The first line of my reply specifically states:
"the real issue was her not being able to let you know what was going on."


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: i have a not so simple question - 7/1/2006 9:11:37 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
but slutting and playing hardly takes someone out of the "serious long term relationship" field.


It was this one. For me, and my observations, a dishonest playing slut isn't anyone I want to involve in my life. The rest of your point was dead on.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
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