Form of contract

Form of contract (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

thorneyone -> Form of contract (9/24/2013 6:24:28 AM)
I am not really into being a master but the opportunity has arisen and I feel I need to follow it through with purpose and honesty. Has anyone got a simple set of written rules I could try to get compliance with from my sub. It does not have to be a long form, just a few simple, mutually binding points. Bob, UK

sunshinemiss -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 6:25:50 AM)
Hello Bob, Just out of curiosity, why are you doing something you aren't into? best, sunshine

DarkSteven -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 6:53:28 AM)
1. The sub does what the Dom says. Glad to help.

graceadieu -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 9:07:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Hello Bob, Just out of curiosity, why are you doing something you aren't into? best, sunshine Maybe his partner is, and he wants to make her/him happy. If so, that's rather sweet.

SerWhiteTiger -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 10:04:29 AM)
I think knowing why you're doing this when you're not realy into it would be helpful to finding put what kind of advice you could use. Personally, I could give or take being a Dom, but I have a girl who needs to be a slave, and I'm the only one who can provide that for her, so I have chosen to do so. But I do enjoy it as well, and the more I do it, the more attached I get to all of it.

SweetAnise -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 10:06:50 AM)
I would never do or say something that I am not into. Just doesn't make sense. Why put yourself into doing this if it doesn't make you happy?

myotherself -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 10:35:59 AM)
If you google 'bdsm contract' or 'bdsm rules' you will get countless pages of other people's ideas of contracts and rules. When I first started in bdsm all those years ago my first 'dominant' downloaded one of those contracts and me, in my excitement and ignorance, happily signed it. I thought that what I read was what was going to be. I was more than happy to follow the rules, but he lost interest. After a while he stopped checking on stuff and I became disillusioned and we drifted apart. The reason he lost interest was mostly because it really wasn't what he was interested in, but he didn't have the heart to tell me that. My advice would be, think of a few things you would like your sub/slave to do, and write them down. It might be something like not drinking coffee, sleeping in her collar, whatever you want. Make the list short and to the point, and most of all be 100% sure that you want to take responsibility for implementing and monitoring those rules. It's not fair to let her down in the future if it's not really your thing.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 11:00:11 AM)
No piece of ass can be worth that much trouble. So why are you trying to be something you aren't? In my house it is covered by the COD rule . . . Comply Or Die. Steven put it very well, "The sub does what the Dom says". So now you know all you need to know. Wasn't that simple?

Gauge -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 12:06:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thorneyone I am not really into being a master but the opportunity has arisen and I feel I need to follow it through with purpose and honesty. If you are not into being a master, how do you expect to do it with purpose and honesty? Why are you in this position? What brought you to this point? quote: Has anyone got a simple set of written rules I could try to get compliance with from my sub. Put 400 dominants in a room and ask this question and you will get 400 unique answers. Also, you do not try to get compliance from your sub, it is what you must do or the rules are useless. Most here will tell you that above all be consistent. Don't bend the rules, do not compromise once the rules are set and do not be afraid to enforce them once they are implemented. quote: It does not have to be a long form, just a few simple, mutually binding points. What is it that you want your submissive to do? Serve you dinner at a specific time? Serve as furniture? Be naked, on her knees with head bowed and hands out in front of her when you come home? Wash your feet? Keep the home tidy? Dress a certain way for you? Scrub you while you bathe? Hand you a towel after bathing? Hand you an ice cold beer after you come home? Surely you can think of some things that you would want someone to do for you. There is no real set protocol except for what you desire. If you need more information perhaps check out some of the books that are listed in the sticky posts in the General BDSM forums. I will ask the question again, why are you doing this? Knowing the reasons may help us give you better advice and overall information to help you.

poise -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 1:26:03 PM)
If I were your submissive, I would much rather my goal be complying with what your wishes and desires were. My thoughts are such that, if I am willing to do as you say, the least you could do is set forth expectations that are authentic to you. I would feel cheated by your masterfulness in obtaining a generic set of rules, simply for the sake of having rules. If you aren't capable of putting enough effort into figuring out what you want, why should I?

DesFIP -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 2:53:51 PM)
You're missing the fact that the contract can't be one sided. So if you write that she has to be totally honest, then you had better be able to handle criticism without getting defensive. Can you? Because the moment you deflect what she says, she will learn that despite what you wrote, you actually don't want her to tell you when there's a problem. If she has to give you all her money to manage, then you had better be a whiz at budgeting. Are you? Do you want the responsibility more than you want the blow jobs on demand? Because starting this and not keeping up your end of the bargain is much worse than telling her you don't know if you're up to this and want to start out slow and see how far you get.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Form of contract (9/24/2013 4:26:52 PM)
Rules? There ain't no rules in a knife fight!

sunshinemiss -> RE: Form of contract (9/25/2013 2:54:52 AM)
To the OP - this thread might give you some ideas. We had a fairly lively discussion about "improvement" recently although the discussion was about being single. Give her/him ways to self-improve, and check on the progress. Is there progress? Does the sub have what is needed in order to continue improving quality of life? One step at a time. best, sunshine

JeffBC -> RE: Form of contract (9/25/2013 7:07:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thorneyone Has anyone got a simple set of written rules I could try to get compliance with from my sub. Yeah... my list of rules contains exactly one and there's no vagueness. "Obey"

aldompdx -> RE: Form of contract (9/26/2013 1:24:21 PM)
A BDSM contract is not real. It does not legally bind the parties. Since it is merely an expression of fantasy, and does not dictate the reality of anytyhing that shall happen, you can write down anything you want. You can say, "my partner promises to build me a rocket and fly me to the moon." If you want to engage in non-fantasy interaction, non role-play, where you each manifest the deeper truths of your disposition of the control-surrender dynamic, then just authentically be who you are.

Kana -> RE: Form of contract (9/26/2013 2:21:33 PM)
1-The only contract I've ever needed is a verbal one. If I can't trust the cunt, why would I want to be in bed, much less a relationship with her? 2-I have three rules, all of which apply to her role in my life. Serve, please, obey. That's it. Mostly though, if you're a dominant type, the rules will kinda write themselves as the relationship progresses and it's usually a wise idea to let them. Otherwise one can find oneself in that awkward place where the rules set down now restrict the potential of the relationship and the Dominant party is now bound by word and integrity to do things that hinder rather than aid. Which just fucking sucks. This is one thing newer folks miss all the time-those rules, that stricture, it cuts both ways. Over years of digesting my own crow, I've learned to set less and less hard strictures and let things evolve as they progress.

DarkSteven -> RE: Form of contract (9/26/2013 6:11:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aldompdx A BDSM contract is not real. It does not legally bind the parties. Since it is merely an expression of fantasy, and does not dictate the reality of anytyhing that shall happen, you can write down anything you want. You can say, "my partner promises to build me a rocket and fly me to the moon." If you want to engage in non-fantasy interaction, non role-play, where you each manifest the deeper truths of your disposition of the control-surrender dynamic, then just authentically be who you are. No. Your premise is that all contracts must be legally binding. The word "contract" might be problematic. "List of rules" might be better. And it's very useful as a discussion tool.

aldompdx -> RE: Form of contract (9/28/2013 2:18:46 AM)
No and No again! it either is a contract (real) or it is not a contract (imaginary). I thought this post used the word "contract" rather than "non-contract." As every little kid learns from Dr. Seuss -- say what you mean, and mean what you say. Only a narcissist would imagine they are above the law, and a contract is only whatever they say it is, and to hell with what society or mere language has defined as a contract -- because a narcissist (cough: dictator/tyrant) is better and above the standards, redifines the standards, and arbitrarily make their own rules whenever they feel like it. -- OBEY THE SUPREME LORD AND RULER OF ALL! Generally speaking (not pointing to Steven): Man, in the few years I have been gone, this entire board has really gone downhill. There are a bunch of cynical nasty disrespectful bullies trolling around (see example in my above paragraph), many of whom are the same old participants of many years ago. It would seem that many Americans really have it easy, with few responsibilities, and loads of time to cyber-relate rather than relate in the real world. Oh how easy it is to be an armchair critic.

myotherself -> RE: Form of contract (9/28/2013 4:19:40 AM)
Actually, the OP asked for a list of rules, not a contract. I was the first to mention the term 'contract', merely because a quick google search using 'bdsm contract' or 'bdsm rules' could give him the basis of some rules he could apply to his situation. Everyone else (who are mostly in long-term, real-life bdsm relationships) have actually given some good advice. He now knows where to get the rules he wants. He has also been given food for thought, since he has clearly stated this is not really something he's into.

lilcracker -> RE: Form of contract (9/28/2013 6:02:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself Actually, the OP asked for a list of rules, not a contract. I was the first to mention the term 'contract', merely because a quick google search using 'bdsm contract' or 'bdsm rules' could give him the basis of some rules he could apply to his situation. The title of the post is Form of contract.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875