RE: Changing times.....

RE: Changing times..... (Full Version)

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hejira92 -> RE: Changing times..... (9/27/2013 7:18:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC To elaborate a bit, if I "walk into a room" and whatever's going on there is well under control then I'm just one of the crowd. If, however, there is confusion then pretty quickly people will start looking to me. Now obviously there must be something in my body language or patterns of speech which make this occur but it's not intentional. In my mind this is exactly what the phrase "natural born leader" means... or at least the most obvious outward indication of it. This is different then when there is already a well organized group and for whatever reasons I want to take it over. Then there is a power contest and someone wins and someone loses. Hey, if I walk into a room where there is confusion (or am part of a group that is tasked with getting something done), people quickly look to me to organize, decide and lead, too. I have serious leadership abilities (do I sound pompous? Oh well. When's the last time you wrangled 30-40 teenagers and got them to concentrate on one specific task that they find difficult/have little interest in?). But no one has ever accused me of Dom-liness. But I exert my super powers only in a power vacuum (or my own classroom). When the power contest you mention seems nigh, I am glad to let someone else take the lead. (I guess that disqualifies me from twue Domliness) So, basically, I agree with you- leadership skills and personal charisma are not necessarily traits of Doms.

SweetAnise -> RE: Changing times..... (9/27/2013 7:21:01 PM)
Welcome and it is nice that you expressed your journey. But might I suggest using your journal for these insightful reflections?

ResidentSadist -> RE: Changing times..... (9/27/2013 11:42:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterTitlis I was simply sharing a moment in time. It was not taken from others writing nor was it implied anyone should refer to Me as Master. This is a position I have earned as all those who know Me would validate or confirm as well as "Trainer". We are born who We/we are, whether Dom or other. I did not realize their were such superficial egos here? Hense My point, about changing times, available information on the internet and its' validity. Just an FYI, it's W/we not We/we. We we sounds like what little kids do when they piss. As far as the forum's reactions to you and why they perceive you as a pompous ass, it is because coming here and proclaiming you were a "true Dom" at age 7 is a silly thing to say to a bunch of seasoned lifestyle folk. The whole "true" Dom aspect requires that you believe there are false Doms . . . meaning you know the "one true way" and the false Doms don't . . . and at the age of 7. The "one true way" violates the "i'm OK you're ok" pretext of an open minded social group. Basically, you stuck both feet firmly in your mouth before you made through the opening paragraph of your thread. So I understand using the word "true" outside the leather community is very different . . . I use the word myself and I love a "true" sports car. So I read further with an open mind. By the time I got through the second paragraph about your family and schoolmates all being your submissives, I could clearly see you do not appear know the difference between dominance and leadership or that they are not necessarily connected. It's like the other thread someone wrote saying that all masochists are submissive . . . it is a foolish perspective to those of us that know better. In the forth paragraph you state that you have worked with and/or trained thousands of people. At this point, it looks like you are masturbating your ego . . . in public. So you got the same reception from your audience most people who masturbate in public get. By the time we get to your point about being patient and learning about BDSM from a sample of your own experiences, you have discredited yourself as an adviser. Which is a shame, because it truly is good advice, no matter how poorly you presented it. I hope you take your own advice and learn from your experience here that you shouldn't play with yourself (or your ego) in public. We all have valuable experiences to share and this is a great place to share them and learn from others.

chatterbox24 -> RE: Changing times..... (9/28/2013 6:18:28 AM)
A bit arrogant[:D] but aren't doms arrogant sometimes? One point that is true I find, is there are people out there, when they enter a room, it is sensed even if your back is turned and everyone takes notice.

JeffBC -> RE: Changing times..... (9/28/2013 8:11:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hejira92 So, basically, I agree with you- leadership skills and personal charisma are not necessarily traits of Doms. Two separate points and thanks for bringing up the other one. Insofar as you sharing my experience, thanks. I didn't think I was talking about some far out thing. It seemed pretty normal. To the question of leadership skills and charisma being the sole domain of doms, that sort of depends on what you mean by dominant. If you coupled those two things with a desire to use them then I'd say yup, that's a dominant personality. As we all know, plenty of dominant personalities choose to submit in the context of their relationship. That's why I refer to the difference between social d/s and relational/BDSM D/s. I just thought OP was getting incorrectly ripped on that point. Yes, some people do walk into rooms and more or less automatically assume a vacant leadership position --- and with some effort can assume a non-vacant one.

KnightofMists -> RE: Changing times..... (9/28/2013 12:30:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum OP You do realize that you come across as a pompous ass hat who clearly is clueless as how to play well with others. Those group of strangers that spoke with you. In my lil world we call that "polite conversation", ya know make the "new guy" feel welcome. It was not because somehow magically within a couple of minutes all of these ppl considered you a <what was the word you used> Ah yes "true Dom" For the most part the posters are a friendly bunch..except the ones that aren't. So if you tone down your BS ppl may respond in a positive manner. BadOne Lmao I agree completely with what was said by Badone.... But I find it extremely funny that its coming from a guy that is acut to the chase a spade is a spade kind a guy. Just didn't see him defending this group of misfits lol

KnightofMists -> RE: Changing times..... (9/28/2013 12:38:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterTitlis About 31 years ago clarity was given to Me with what I had been struggling with since I was 7. I was a true Dom. This came to light in a conversation I had over drinks with a friend and his wife. She was much older than him and She is a Domme. She and I had an instant chemistry as if We/We had been cut from the same cloth. ........ I just couldn't read past this first paragraph...?. Just couldn't get past the idea of true Dom.... That just well. Conveys all the attitude that I am not interested in exposing myself too! Hopefully....the next 31 years ago you will learn a few more things than your a true Dom

crazyml -> RE: Changing times..... (9/28/2013 1:19:36 PM)
Really, really good point. As a dom I'm principally attracted to strong assertive women.. just the kind who would inspire respect.

DarkSteven -> RE: Changing times..... (9/28/2013 4:21:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chatterbox24 A bit arrogant[:D] but aren't doms arrogant sometimes? Arrogance tempered with self-awareness is not always a bad thing.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 1:09:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC To elaborate a bit, if I "walk into a room" and whatever's going on there is well under control then I'm just one of the crowd. If, however, there is confusion then pretty quickly people will start looking to me. It could be your metamorphosis into a silverback. I could be wrong. I'll ask Kafka.

littlewonder -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 4:34:35 AM)
. [image]local://upfiles/134279/900DAB6D7F174813A7F6A841F844E0F0.jpg[/image]

lilcracker -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 4:59:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder . [image]local://upfiles/134279/900DAB6D7F174813A7F6A841F844E0F0.jpg[/image] LOL littlewonder that is the most promising Dom I have ever seen on CollarMe. Hook me up.

DarkSteven -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 5:45:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilcracker quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder . [image]local://upfiles/134279/900DAB6D7F174813A7F6A841F844E0F0.jpg[/image] LOL littlewonder that is the most promising Dom I have ever seen on CollarMe. Hook me up. Oh, yeah? I could make more promises than him ANY day!!!!!

littleone14 -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 7:17:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder . [image]local://upfiles/134279/900DAB6D7F174813A7F6A841F844E0F0.jpg[/image] I'm already submissive to two cats. It's how they get their litter box cleaned.......

Kana -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 7:26:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml Really, really good point. As a dom I'm principally attracted to strong assertive women.. just the kind who would inspire respect. Because what fun is it climbing an anthill. Most especially when Everest looms.

KnightofMists -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 8:35:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: chatterbox24 A bit arrogant[:D] but aren't doms arrogant sometimes? Arrogance tempered with self-awareness is not always a bad thing. I find people that have confidence and self awareness is often confused to be arrogant by those that are not confident or all that self aware. I also find arrogance to be a highly detracting quality and often exhibit by someone that has false confidence and is very narrow view in their own identify of self and the world around them. Confidence has substance, arrogance has none!

lilcracker -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 9:52:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: lilcracker quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder . [image]local://upfiles/134279/900DAB6D7F174813A7F6A841F844E0F0.jpg[/image] LOL littlewonder that is the most promising Dom I have ever seen on CollarMe. Hook me up. Oh, yeah? I could make more promises than him ANY day!!!!! He's cuter though DS and looks more cuddly.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 4:30:36 PM)
That cat must have realized he was a twue Dom back when he was an itty bitty kitten with his eyes still sealed shut. [:D]

littleone14 -> RE: Changing times..... (9/29/2013 5:21:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity That cat must have realized he was a twue Dom back when he was an itty bitty kitten with his eyes still sealed shut. [:D] I wonder if kitty subs are the ones who were weaned too early......

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