consensual "blackmail" ...

consensual "blackmail" ... (Full Version)

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AliceInUndieLand -> consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 11:08:19 AM)
This is a serious post - and I'm not interested in discussing fantasies... I'm a submissive transvestite - and I've been seeing Pro-Mistresses for the last few years in order to explore and express my submissive needs... More and more I've become dissatisfied with "session based" domination - and I'm becoming very intrigued - and fascinated -and horrified by the idea of a Dominatrix having some kind of real and lasting power over me ... After much thought.. I've come to the conclusion that one way this might work is through some kind of negotiated and agreed "blackmail" arrangement .. And I'm looking for a Pro-Mistress in the UK .. who might be genuinely interested - and experienced in this... Now I realise I could go to any Pro-Domme - and they'd happily do it ... But the point is.. I'm looking for someone who"gets" the idea that it's not about simply extorting money from me... But about the continuing mental control and psychological torment ... I envisage any financial side would be simply compensation for the time and effort a Dominatrix would expend in running the arrangement. Does anyone out there "get it" ... ??

searching4mysir -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 11:12:02 AM)
FR One thing you have to consider is that the pro-domme takes a huge legal risk in playing this way with you. She has to trust that you aren't going to go to the police and press charges when you deem it no longer fun. I disagree that any pro-domme will happily do it with someone they don't have a long-term professional relationship with.

angelikaJ -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 11:24:32 AM)
Before you set your plan in motion, before you make any arrangements with someone, you need to ask yourself, can you deal with whatever 'worst-case scenarios' might come your way. Can you deal with being outed to your boss, or have very intimate and embarrassing photos emailed to your family? What do you have to lose and can you live with those consequences?

AliceInUndieLand -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 11:24:41 AM)
... I agree potentially there are some legal pitfalls.. which is why it needs some sensible planning .. and I would envisage quite a tightly worded agreement so there wouldn't be any "misunderstandings" .. and perhaps a trial period of just a few weeks - whereby the arrangement could automatically end .. if it wasn't working out ..

angelikaJ -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 11:27:53 AM)
I think you should talk to a kink-friendly lawyer/barrister/attorney. What if the tightly written agreement you have is totally meaningless under the scrutiny of your legal system?

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 11:41:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ What if the tightly written agreement you have is totally meaningless under the scrutiny of your legal system? Most, if not all, of these types of "agreement", mean absolutely nothing in most legal systems. Just about any illegal activity, whether agreed in writing or not, could get you on the wrong end of the law. What OP is proposing requires a great deal of trust from both ends of any agreement. And as angelika said, could you live with the worst case scenario should it happen?? I think OP is being a tad unrealistic.

RumpusParable -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 12:36:12 PM)
Op, I'm reading this in your first post: quote: having some kind of real and lasting power over me ... After much thought.. I've come to the conclusion that one way this might work is through some kind of negotiated and agreed "blackmail" arrangement .. And I'm looking for a Pro-Mistress in the UK .. who might be genuinely interested - and experienced in this... Now I realise I could go to any Pro-Domme - and they'd happily do it ... But the point is.. I'm looking for someone who"gets" the idea that it's not about simply extorting money from me... But about the continuing mental control and psychological torment ... There's a lot in there that made me confused on what you are really seeking, so I'll just stick to responding to one point I can tell you as a fact about this quote: The idea that any pro-dom would happily do blackmail play is very, very incorrect. I cannot begin to count for you how many times I have turned down blackmail-seeking clients and personal-life partners nor how many times I've spoken to other pro and lifestyle doms who who also won't touch it.

AliceInUndieLand -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 12:57:56 PM)
Thanks for everyone's input so far.. really appreciate it ... I would strongly disagree about being "unrealistic" ... - All BDSM arrangements - and I'm talking about commercial session based play operate within fairly tightly agreed guidelines... and are of course based on trust ... Every sub has limits.. but within those limits.. in a session the Dominatrix still has a lot of scope... ( Of course you might well ask just how "real" is "session based submission" anyway ? - but that's a whole different debate ). What I envisage would also have understood limits..... I trust the Dommes I go to for session play... I'd trust a Domme with this... As I envisage it.. the Dominatrix would make "demands" on me ( within agreed limits )and should I default .. I would be required to pay a - limited - financial forfeit... Lots of scope there for psychological torment with threats and mental cruelty etc... Like I said... looking for someone who "gets" it ..

RedMagic1 -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/28/2013 3:48:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AliceInUndieLand Thanks for everyone's input so far.. really appreciate it ... I would strongly disagree about being "unrealistic" ... - All BDSM arrangements - and I'm talking about commercial session based play operate within fairly tightly agreed guidelines... and are of course based on trust ... It's definitely realistic. That said, it's possible for a woman to "get" it, and still not want it. Consider a previously rare fetish that is now all over CM profiles: forced intox. This used to be considered TOTALLY INSANE, something done only by fraternity pledges and out-of-control gay leathermen. But there's no doubt it's approaching mainstream now, at least in cyber. Why? I don't know for certain, but I believe it is because a drunk man is more likely to tribute more money than a sober man. How much you would trust such a woman to hold your future in the palm of her hand? I think you'll find that the prodommes who offer forced intox are also the ones more likely to be interested in blackmail arrangements. Probably for similar reasons. This doesn't mean you should take them up on it, though. Whether you want it to be true or not, what you're describing is edge play, both with respect to the LAW, and also with respect to the possibilities of unintentionally passing hard limits of emotional masochism and financial ruination. My advice is that you should only enter into this agreement with a woman who has a lot to lose. She'll be a lot less likely to destroy you in the bad way, if she could be destroyed herself.

LadyPact -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/29/2013 9:36:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AliceInUndieLand What I envisage would also have understood limits..... I trust the Dommes I go to for session play... I'd trust a Domme with this... <snip> Like I said... looking for someone who "gets" it .. It's honestly not that folks don't "get it." Consensual blackmail isn't exactly a difficult concept to grasp. However, a signed piece of paper doesn't really offer the Domme any legal protection if it turns out that she doesn't trust you. As nice of a person as you probably are, what you are asking the other party to do is stick her neck out based on your word (somebody she really doesn't know) and a piece of paper stating that she's engaging in an illegal activity. I'm not familiar with the laws in the UK, but in the USA, that piece of paper wouldn't offer the other party any protection should you turn out not to be such a nice person and head for the cops. She's the one going to jail if it goes sour. Not you. That's one heck of a huge risk to be taking on somebody that the Domme doesn't know very well. In essence, you would have to find somebody willing to take that kind of risk. I'm not saying that what you are looking for is impossible to find. What I can tell you as a lifestyle Dominant, risking My freedom over your kink so I can sit behind bars for ten years just isn't a situation that I would be willing to engage in.

DesFIP -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/29/2013 9:38:49 AM)
Wouldn't it just be easier to form a real and lasting relationship with someone who would want that real and lasting authority over you?

AliceInUndieLand -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/29/2013 9:57:59 AM)
regarding post above.. would love "a real and lasting relationship" etc.. unfortunately haven't met anyone that way inclined.. - Regarding other comments .. every time I session with a Pro-Domme - and ask for CP .. I'm trusting that she won't go too far ... and seriously injure me... and she's trusting that after the session I'm not going to go to the cops and make allegations of assault ... It's all about trust and negotiated limits... - so as I see it.. psychological play and this "blackmail" scene is exactly the same... I was hoping some UK based Pro-Dommes might have seen the thread - and indicated some interest... Sadly, no luck in that direction so far ...

kalikshama -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (9/30/2013 5:56:50 PM)
quote: regarding post above.. would love "a real and lasting relationship" etc.. unfortunately haven't met anyone that way inclined.. This would be my suggestion as well...what sorts of things have you been trying?

razorbacksub -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (10/16/2013 12:14:28 PM)
Yes I get it. And what the others are saying is correct. Trust is key. Blackmailing is not an easy thing to do, it's an art form. I have had Mistresses who told me they would reveal certain information about me, and I didn't believe them. And then I have had others that just by the tone of their voices I knew they would bring down my entire life if I didn't comply with their wishes, and I did. It comes with experience. RZBK

DesFIP -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (10/16/2013 7:54:41 PM)
You're over 50 years old. If in all these years you have not been able to form a relationship with a compatible dominant woman, then I have to think that the problem lies not with all those women, but with you. You are the only common denominator in all your relationships.

TNDommeK -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (10/16/2013 9:18:02 PM)
As a fin Domme, I am a bit hesitant when it comes to black mail. I've never understood why I should have to threaten any slave to obey me.

AliceInUndieLand -> RE: consensual "blackmail" ... (11/1/2013 7:45:33 AM)
RESULT: Now in a lovely "blackmail arrangement" with Mistress Porcelain Beauty from Liverpool England.. Message me for details.. !

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