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Best Plan - 9/29/2013 7:15:40 PM

takerone

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/13/2013
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I have recently been stepping into the lifestyle thanks to this great website. Have always wanted to explore BDSM and especially the aspect of being spanked. Have responded to some ads with little success but have been able to meet online and in person some fantastic women who are dominants looking for submissives. I have found that in these relationships, I am more of a submissive slave and I am doing a lot of work, housework and chores and not very much play. I guess I am asking, is this normal in the lifestyle. I enjoy doing the work but would prefer to have more play and less work. that would be normal I would like to perhaps meet someone on the site and have a great relationship with but in the bedroom, have a kinky side where I am submissive. in the relationships I have now, it is strictly platonic. what is the best plan for meeting other women who enjoy giving spankings and who may want a relationship. I do love the site and the lifestyle and look forward to meeting lots of the great people and munches and such. I guess that is a good place to start. any thoughts are appreciated. thanks

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RE: Best Plan - 9/29/2013 7:26:32 PM

FelineRanger

Posts: 658
Joined: 9/4/2012
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It's kind of funny, but we just had a discussion similar to this during a recent class at my local play party. The thing is that spanking and all the other forms of play only comprise a small part of the relationship. The majority really does consist of the mundane stuff that you don't seem to enjoy. Maybe you should have housework as a hard limit or just have play partners instead of a relationship that includes the normal, every day non-kinky stuff.

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Bill

(in reply to takerone)

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RE: Best Plan - 9/29/2013 7:27:45 PM

kalikshama

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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If they are giving you chores right off that bat, that does not bode favorably for a well-rounded relationship. Just like some guys come to this site for easy sex, sounds like some women are here for NSA chores.

I recommend normal dating activity with a dominant woman - getting to know her as a woman over dinner, lunch, coffee, lunches, dinners, hanging out. As the relationship naturally progresses, her willingness to spank you will increase.

Other people have written about this more eloquently than I; perhaps someone will come along with a link to a thread that covers this.

(in reply to takerone)

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RE: Best Plan - 9/29/2013 7:31:52 PM

littleone14

Posts: 185
Joined: 7/4/2012
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I just looked at your profile, and while you've checked your likes and dislikes, the rest is completely blank. Why not write something on your profile about what you're looking for. While I wouldn't go too much into the kink, at least put it out there that you want that to be a part of it.

< Message edited by littleone14 -- 9/29/2013 7:32:30 PM >

(in reply to kalikshama)

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RE: Best Plan - 9/29/2013 7:32:05 PM

kalikshama

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

The thing is that spanking and all the other forms of play only comprise a small part of the relationship. The majority really does consist of the mundane stuff

Ya, lately my man and I have been spending more time with each other's elderly parents and less time having kinky sex. This mundane stuff strengthens us as a couple.

(in reply to FelineRanger)

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RE: Best Plan - 9/29/2013 7:35:08 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

I just looked at your profile, and while you've checked your likes and dislikes, the rest is completely blank. Why not write something on your profile about what you're looking for. While I wouldn't go too much into the kink, at least out it out there that you want that to be a part of it.

Well, that would explain why he's not finding relationship-oriented women.

takerone - check out this great post on profile and first email advice: For men: how to find a woman here

(in reply to littleone14)

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RE: Best Plan - 9/30/2013 3:31:37 PM

takerone

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thanks for the response. helpful

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RE: Best Plan - 9/30/2013 7:42:29 PM

lilBlackbird44

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/16/2013
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From my experience, I would recommend being open and honest about your expectations from the beginning. You may be submissive, but that doesn't mean you can't hold high standards for your relationships. If they aren't giving you what you need, you need to say something. And if you're meeting someone new and they ask what you're looking for, be honest with them about what you want in the relationship. If they aren't willing to work with you on what you want, they aren't worth your time.

(in reply to takerone)

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