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scorpio1387 -> video's (10/1/2013 6:07:51 PM)
it was requested of me to make a video where im playing with myself in various poses ive never done this before how on earth can i i want to but i know ill freeze or ill feel so much stress or ackwardness how can i find the confidence to do what im asked to do???

kalikshama -> RE: videos (10/1/2013 6:55:15 PM)
If it is your husband who asked you to make the video, share your concerns with him. If it is anybody else - don't do it. The risks are not worth it.

RedMagic1 -> RE: videos (10/1/2013 7:01:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama If it is anybody else - don't do it. The risks are not worth it. What???? How exactly does she run a risk if the camera only shows her vagina? I have no idea whether she should do it or not, but I can think of a ton of scenarios where it would be a Good Thing (tm). If she sees her vagina as bad, or dirty, it's a way to turn it into art. Maybe give us some more information, OP? Did this request come from someone who knows you in real life, and has demonstrated care for you? Do you plan to show your face? (I wouldn't.) Stuff like that.

DesFIP -> RE: videos (10/1/2013 8:21:03 PM)
Have you met this guy? Really want your friends and family want to see this? Because once it goes on the net, it can go anywhere.

DomMeinCT -> RE: videos (10/1/2013 9:06:28 PM)
Make sure there's nothing personally or family identifiable in the background. (Like the naked guy in his profile pic with his family's portraits on the mantle as he poses in front of his fireplace.)

MasterCaneman -> RE: videos (10/1/2013 9:15:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT Make sure there's nothing personally or family identifiable in the background. (Like the naked guy in his profile pic with his family's portraits on the mantle as he poses in front of his fireplace.) But that makes it even MORE special, dontcha know?

DomMeinCT -> RE: videos (10/1/2013 9:26:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman quote: ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT Make sure there's nothing personally or family identifiable in the background. (Like the naked guy in his profile pic with his family's portraits on the mantle as he poses in front of his fireplace.) But that makes it even MORE special, dontcha know? It's one of my favorite pics. He's got his elderly parents sitting next to his shoulder. I'm sure they'd be proud to be on CM, helping him find his soulmate.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: video's (10/2/2013 12:54:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: scorpio1387 it was requested of me to make a video where im playing with myself in various poses ive never done this before how on earth can i i want to but i know ill freeze or ill feel so much stress or ackwardness how can i find the confidence to do what im asked to do??? OK well freezing up isn't too much of an issue. If it's pre-recorded, you can stop the camera for as long as you need to. I guess the question is, why do you feel stressed or awkward? I have done things like this and I really hate it. I'm pretty sexually liberated but everything about this sort of set up feels cheap and icky to me. For me, the answer was 'shut up and submit'. I just had to get it over with and accept that submission sometimes means doing things you don't like. HOWEVER without knowing more about your situation I can't advise you to do the same. It's different for me since I have years of trust built in him - I know there's no chance of rejection, or the videos being used inappropriately. I also know for sure he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, and he'll be there to make me feel better afterwards. Since I don't know how long you've been with this person and what type of relationship you have, I don't know whether to tell you 'get it over with' or 'run a mile'. If this is online only, if you've been pressured into this before you are ready, if he doesn't seem to care that it upsets you, run. If you have a lot of trust, if he is working with you to overcome the insecurities, if you've been together for years and are very happy, then do it. But as the others have said - NOTHING should identify you. No tattoos, no face shots, no recognizable background. You should assume ahead of time that it WILL end up plastered about online; that way you wont put anything in there that would embarrass you if your mother/kids/boss were to find it one day.

scorpio1387 -> RE: video's (10/2/2013 5:02:49 AM)
my apologies everyone i need o giv you some more info i have known this guy for several years and yes on our own level we care immensly for each other weve been together and now were functioning from a distance hence the asking for a video so yes shut up and do it sounds like my only option but how can i even have an orgasm if this is somehing i do not want to do so far ive read low lights candles mabey have a drink first wich might help i just cant force myself to do things thats why hes my master i love when he makes me bend to his will i geuss im asking how do i relax enough to give him wat hes asking for ???

SweetAnise -> RE: video's (10/2/2013 5:11:38 AM)
If you don't want to do it. Then don't do it. Pretty simple. No one can make you do anything. You should be able to tell this to him and he should be able to accept it. Or at least have a conversation with you about it.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: video's (10/2/2013 5:59:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: scorpio1387 my apologies everyone i need o giv you some more info i have known this guy for several years and yes on our own level we care immensly for each other weve been together and now were functioning from a distance hence the asking for a video so yes shut up and do it sounds like my only option but how can i even have an orgasm if this is somehing i do not want to do so far ive read low lights candles mabey have a drink first wich might help i just cant force myself to do things thats why hes my master i love when he makes me bend to his will i geuss im asking how do i relax enough to give him wat hes asking for ??? Maybe you won't be able to orgasm. Just explain to him your problems. It's one thing to order someone to do something they don't want to do, but another thing to order them to do something they physically can not do. As long as you are trying, right? So do what you need to do. A drink, if that helps, sure. Music? If your face isn't going to be on camera (and it isn't, right?) then he won't see you looking nervous or bored or squicked out. Write yourself a script if you have to : two minutes of x, then I'll do y, then I'll say x, then back to x' Be an actor. Act it out.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: video's (10/2/2013 6:58:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: scorpio1387 ......shut up and do it sounds like my only option but how can i even have an orgasm if this is somehing i do not want to do..... Ummmmm, why does it have to result in you having an orgasm? Am I missing something? Is all of your D/s activity done with orgasm as the final objective? Seems shallow and limiting to me.

angelikaJ -> RE: video's (10/2/2013 7:05:20 AM)
Would it be possible to begin getting off for him while the 2 of you are on the phone. It can be a very vulnerable thing to be watched. And after a few times of that, then move to the cam... with him in your ear (although i realise that holding a phone while you are doing other things might be more difficult.

slavekate80 -> RE: video's (10/2/2013 9:02:00 AM)
If this is something you've seriously thought about, weighing out the risks, and you still want to do it but are having trouble with it, can you discuss it with him and maybe ease into it? For example, warm up by doing still pictures first and getting used to that, or make a video where you're naked but doing something mundane and non-sexual such as making breakfast. Then work up to the original video request slowly.

kalikshama -> RE: videos (10/2/2013 10:12:24 AM)
quote: my apologies everyone i need o giv you some more info i have known this guy for several years and yes on our own level we care immensly for each other weve been together and now were functioning from a distance hence the asking for a video so yes shut up and do it sounds like my only option but how can i even have an orgasm if this is somehing i do not want to do so far ive read low lights candles mabey have a drink first wich might help i just cant force myself to do things thats why hes my master i love when he makes me bend to his will i geuss im asking how do i relax enough to give him wat hes asking for ??? Are you posting on a phone? You are virtually unreadable. I think more people would be willing to help if you were easier to understand. The only suggestion I'm willing to give at this point is to use spellcheck and make more of an effort to write clearly.

poise -> RE: video's (10/2/2013 10:50:10 AM)
I'm with Roch on this one. Bending to his will doesn't mean you are required to receive physical pleasure from it. I think you really want to do this, but in order to do so successfully, your focus should be on pleasing him, not doing it in order to please yourself. Just think of how proud he will be of you once you accomplish this task. Doesn't that make you pretty hot? quote: ORIGINAL: scorpio1387 i geuss im asking how do i relax enough to give him wat hes asking for ??? I've been in a similar situation, and it isn't an easy thing to do, but what I've found that helps is self objectification. Whenever I'm feeling awkward about my physical presentation to him (is my skin soft enough, is my butt too big, etc) I try and take myself out of the picture completely by thinking of myself as being just one hot and juicy cunt. No ego involved at all. It's amazingly liberating.

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