Newbie and a bit confused (Full Version)

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Christhulhu -> Newbie and a bit confused (10/4/2013 2:27:05 PM)

Hello everyone!

Brand new to the site and not long into kink stuff.
I'm a bit confused because as far as I know I'm a Sub male, but since looking into this site (and others like it) I'm uncertain if Sub describes me...
The Dom women's profiles seem very strict and controlling beyond play. I don't know if I'm mainly finding Doms who want slaves or what.
I was hoping to learn a bit and have a bit of fun, not hand wads of cash to strangers.

If anyone has any insight into this, I'd love to hear from you.

Much love,
Chris


PS: Sorry if anything I've written has offended anyone, it comes from a place of ignorance (I have no idea what I'm talking about really)



mnottertail -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/4/2013 2:36:44 PM)

Welcome.

You are a young chap, and what you are looking for in the young girls they figure that is money.

Lose them and move on.

And since fucking starts in the brain, they are going to bluff their cards a great deal.



ladynlord -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/4/2013 2:45:34 PM)

Welcome to the site Chris! Take a moment and reflect upon the profiles of Dominant Female profiles you have seen. They may only represent a small sampling of those who are actually here, but whose profiles are harder to "find". I assure you, not all Dommes are interested in collecting money and gifts.
Please also remember, there are a lot more sub males pleading for the attention of Dominant Females than the reverse. So much so that many Domme's admit to being turned off by this site or some of its members. So you are in a large group....trying to catch the attention of a much smaller group.
First, if being a Money sub/slave is not appealing, avoid contacting those profiles where such is mentioned or hinted at. Second, (as you said) use this site to familiarize yourself with the various aspects, levels, flavours of the kink you are interested in. The forum side is a great place to engage others and stumble across someone who thinks like you. Third, use the site not to look for someone, but instead to find events, munches, gatherings near you or in places you are willing to travel to. Then you are not "hunting" for someone in particular, but instead making friends along the way.
Good luck!



Christhulhu -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/4/2013 3:09:01 PM)

Thank you for the help :)

I understand that I have only scratched the surface of profiles and that I'm sure there are plenty of like minded people on here. Maybe the forum side is better suited than profile trawling.
Are there really so many Sub males? wow, I had no idea. Oblivious to the scene up until 3 months ago so always learning XD

I've looked into events and munches but they scare me. I don't know what it is exactly that does this but I just feel uncomfortable with it. Maybe it's just being naive...
Tbh, meeting anyone from online kinda freaks me out. I just don't know anyone that way inclined with a matching orientation...

Thank you again,
Chris



mnottertail -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/4/2013 3:11:41 PM)

Munches, events, go, be yourself, go with no agenda, dont slop gravy on your tie, nor stab a dominant in the eye with a fork, and you will be the belle of the ball.

It is just eating for christ's sake.


GO.



DarkSteven -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/4/2013 4:21:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Christhulhu

I've looked into events and munches but they scare me. I don't know what it is exactly that does this but I just feel uncomfortable with it. Maybe it's just being naive...



Ever been to a bar? That's what a munch is. Everything about them is vanilla - clothes, setting, etc. Except for the people themselves.

Go for it.



ladynlord -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/4/2013 4:32:55 PM)

If you go to a bar/pub on a weekend night, it is just a bunch of people having a pint with the common hope of getting laid or hope of meeting someone to get laid with in the future. Nothing to freak out about there! No reason to be uncomfortable.
Our experience has been that a munch or event is MUCH less of a "trolling fest" than the average night at the bar scene. MOST (not all) of the attendee's conduct themselves a bit better at a lifestyle house party, munch, seminar or event. Most of the others will be regular attendees and you probably will never run across them online.
Yes, I understand the fear and uncomfortable feelings. But the exits are usually clearly marked and you can leave anytime you wish. Unless you voluteer to be tied/chained/cuffed for a demonstration! But if you have done that, then you will get over the original "scare" quickly!



Rasciallymisty -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/4/2013 4:40:05 PM)

Hello and welcome nice to have you join us here.



garyFLR -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/5/2013 1:09:25 PM)

Hi Chris,

Welcome to CM. Why not join us on the forums for friendly chat & the advice you seek? We're not a bad bunch on this side. Be wary of the scamsters on the profile side though.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

All the best, Gary.



SaffronDuchess -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/6/2013 4:43:08 AM)

Adding my 5c worth: if going to munches (which is fun and harmless if done by an established group) isn't your thing, hang out in the messaging boards. If you see a post that appeals to you, reply to it. Post something yourself and if it catches somebody's eye they may message you or reply to you. Personally, neither age, appearance or experience are most important for making friends. But when I read a post that shows a desire to communicate, compassion, wit, that's what I am interested in.

As far as FemDoms go .... It is my unverified opinion that because of our socialization good young ones probably aren't on sites like this because that's not how we work. The majority of FemDoms I know personally are rather cold and/or bitchy when they are out and playing, sorry girls. I've met one sensual (bi-sexual/Lesbian) female dominant. It was a pleasure to see her play!!! But I haven't met women who are like male Doms. I think it may have to do something with a need to assert yourself as a woman that doesn't exist for men in the same way. That's not to say that FemDoms are insecure or not dominant.

In any case, I'd go to munches, post in forums and reply to people (male, female, trans, whatever) whose posts speak to me.



OohAahMrs -> RE: Newbie and a bit confused (10/7/2013 8:52:23 AM)

Welcome Chris, you've got to be selective, there are a lot of young girls on this site, who think dominance, means money for nothing and surprisingly, there are a number of people who will hand over their cash, without question.



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