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50 Shades Revisited - 10/7/2013 8:24:12 PM   
evesgrden


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Joined: 6/9/2012
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Poem: 50 Shades of Grey - A Husband's Point of View, by Pam Ayres

If you haven’t read the book 50 Shades of Grey, you can still get a chuckle from this poem. Note: a “zimmer” is the British term for a senior’s walker.
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (A husband's point of view)

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
...T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.


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What you permit, you promote.
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RE: 50 Shades Revisited - 10/7/2013 8:30:03 PM   
cobaltrhapsody


Posts: 27
Joined: 10/6/2013
Status: offline
Haha. That's awesome. The lady in the zimmerframe cannot be tamed.

(in reply to evesgrden)
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RE: 50 Shades Revisited - 10/7/2013 10:46:56 PM   
NoBimbosAllowed


Posts: 1450
Joined: 9/19/2013
Status: offline
OP's poetry is great and original and of value.

Unlike Fan fic ripping off Story of O mixed with the Beauty Series while fan-ficcing the fucking TWIGHLIGHT nonsense. meaning Peeee Deeeee and her non-novel.

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It's all about the curvature of the female azzzzzzzzzzz, meaning Niki Minaj and Serena Williams and Kate Cerebrano, NEVER Kylie Minogue! Wooden Spoons and Ottoman scenes from Story of O, baby dolls!

(in reply to cobaltrhapsody)
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RE: 50 Shades Revisited - 10/8/2013 1:32:10 AM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline
Excellent.

(in reply to evesgrden)
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