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AthenaSurrenders -> RE: getting in tune (10/9/2013 11:04:13 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: marknirx
Hi All
Any advice on getting in tune with a more experienced sub, apart from communication?
I would appreciate and help you can give me.
You have relationship experience, right? That's the most useful type of experience.
Otherwise, read non fiction books, read here (and take everything on the internet with a pinch of salt), ask his/her opinion and advice on how things are going, be honest with yourself, don't feel you need to rush and find your own style rather than seeking to emulate how you think a dom 'should' act. Get out in the community and meet other people who are doing this to see how their relationships look and while you're at it, take some classes in the techniques you like.
But still, your most important tool is communication. I know, you know that already. But as someone said, the sub is still new to you, and no amount of experience lets you skip over the part about getting to know and trust each other. Try something new, discuss it honestly. Figure out what you both want and need. Be willing to adapt if things aren't working. Be a team - no keeping score. Both members of the team must be absolutely committed to working it out, and that will mean picking up each other's slack some times.
If you are both having fun, you are doing it right.
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