pondering this

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

pondering this

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> pondering this

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

pondering this - 7/1/2006 11:16:01 PM

iamsubmissive

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/24/2006
Status: offline

i just wanted to drop a line or two..i am coming back into bdsm after being away i have been taking breaks i find i come back and watch the adds and relplies amazes me some ...im not perfect size im heavy set i can endure much i am real yet why is it so hard to find One for me am i too picky too selfish what is it?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: pondering this - 7/1/2006 11:38:45 PM

onyurknees

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamsubmissive

i just wanted to drop a line or two..i am coming back into bdsm after being away i have been taking breaks i find i come back and watch the adds and relplies amazes me some ...im not perfect size im heavy set i can endure much i am real yet why is it so hard to find One for me am i too picky too selfish what is it?

If you had the answer to that question of why it is so hard to find the right person, you would be one rich woman...
It doesn't seem to matter whether one is male or female, top or bottom... finding a partner is the most frustrating thing we set out to do it seems.
Being picky is important, perhaps even more important in our lifestyle than in the vanilla world at times.
Wish I could offer words of wisdom, but being one embarked on the search myself, and with terrible luck so far, I can only offer compassion and encourage you to fulfill yourself as much as you can in your life and trust that the right person is out there for you and that fate will eventually bring you together.
Good luck ... it's a jungle out there ... smiles...
Ms. Lynn

_____________________________

All men are animals. Some just make better pets than others.

Put on your 'big girl' panties and just deal with it!

(in reply to iamsubmissive)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: pondering this - 7/1/2006 11:50:56 PM

ChainedExistence

Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

Everyone has preferences-weight is one of those, but it doesn't mean that everyone prefers a thin woman. You will find someone to appreciate your many fine qualities, and he may prefer that you look the way you do, or at least not mind it. Make sure you also remember there are many fine Dominants who might not be your physical ideal, but who may be perfect for you. Be open and truthful about who you are ,and look for ways to continually improve yourself, and you might be back here soon complaining of the many Doms who won't leave you alone! Best of luck! :)

(in reply to iamsubmissive)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: pondering this - 7/2/2006 6:05:04 AM

LokisBrat

Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline

I think you have every right to be "picky" even more so than in the "vanilla" world. The search can be challenging , and to be honest, it's probably a good thing that it is. We all want the best possible learning experience we can gain, this is usually through a selective process of the desires we seek. There is a reason you have not connected yet, instead of seeing it as a curse, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. You will find what you seek in due time, don't give up the search.

LOKI

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to ChainedExistence)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: pondering this - 7/2/2006 6:14:53 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

My first impression is, that it might be hard to find someone thru an ad, if you can't write a complete sentance in order to express yourself..

It seems you are limited with your writing. Maybe you should try face to face instead.

(in reply to iamsubmissive)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: pondering this - 7/2/2006 6:15:13 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

If you keep taking breaks then how can you expect to have any success?

Why not remain consistent on your desired path. Many of us have spent YEARS looking for our perfect partner. If you keep popping in & out you are most likely crushing your chances of finding someone.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to iamsubmissive)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: pondering this - 7/2/2006 11:35:14 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

When I meet someone who has taken multiple "breaks" from the lifestyle, it always makes me think they're just dabbling. I think that dabbling is fine, but I'd not choose a partner I felt was doing so. I'd always feel that sooner or later, they'd want to take a break again and I'd be left back at square one.. searching. It takes most of us years of searching and many kissed frogs before we find someone right for us.

I'll tell you right now, your weight doesn't have a thing to do with you not finding a partner. There are plenty of men who either prefer BBW or who just do not care. Your problem more than likely has to do with your inexperience and attitude. From your profile, you seem to feel that in order to start a submissive journey, you need a partner. You don't sound like you're taking steps to learn and grow on your own. You can, and should, start learning on your own. Since I'm not sure if you have any clue where to look for BDSM information, here are a few links that may help your learning process.

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html
http://www.castlerealm.com/subspace/subspace.htm
http://www.leathernroses.com/submission/subtraits.htm
http://www.vanilla-not.com/webcenter/index.html
http://www.submission.org.uk/safety-index.html
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/aftercare.htm
http://www.enslavement.org.uk/
http://www.leathernroses.com/submission/subfever.htm
http://latches.webslaves.com/

Why don't you start going to local munches. It's a good way to meet people. And while attendance doesn't automatically mean that someone has any clue about BDSM, at least they showed up in person.

http://www.albertakink.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlbertaKinkSocialSociety/
http://www.albertasafecall.ca/
http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/albertasocietyforkink/
http://www.bondagecalgary.com/
http://www.calgarylegacyhouse.com/
http://www.edmontonosociety.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Alberta_bdsm/

To learn more about munches visit http://www.soj.org/articles/A%20Beginners%20Guide%20to%20BDSM%20Munches.htm

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to iamsubmissive)

Profile

Post #: 7