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jlf1961 -> RE: Hi (10/11/2013 2:46:28 PM)
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Before any of us can converse with you, you must provide the following, otherwise we will have to send the Illuminati Clean up Crew to arrange for your relocation to RS's dungeon for further evaluation.
1) DNA sample to prove what species you are (wouldnt want to hook up with the wrong species of aliens, it could get me executed by my superiors.)
2) Video of your reaction to catnip (must make sure you have not been placed under the control of Felus Catus)
3) MRI and CT scan to make sure you are a biological lifeform and not an android.
4) Birth Certificate to prove what country and planet you were born on, see number one for reasons.
5) A cross section of your femur so that I can verify age (gotta count the rings)
6) A recent IQ test to verify that you are smarter than the average rock.
7) Upon meeting in person, you have to agree to a EEG and EKG to make sure you are not a zombie or any other form of undead.
8) Current psych eval, need to make sure you are not crazier than I am.
9) List of any subversive organizations you may have had contact with in high school, FFA, FHA, ACA, Girl Scouts etc.
10) Current list of comics, anime, manga, and favorite super heroes.
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