Need some advice

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Need some advice

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Need some advice

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Need some advice - 10/11/2013 9:41:29 PM

beardedknight

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/31/2004
Status: offline

I've posted before about our search for a forever slave. We are currently in talks with a new one with plans for him to vist in Nov. He has said that he would be willing to buy a house for us all to start our new lives in. He says he has enough money in investments to pay house hold bills of said house. Now I have been talking to enough "slaves" to know not to belive it till I see it.
How would you ask someone to prove that they actually can do what they say they can do?

With respect and grace

Bks_lady

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Need some advice - 10/11/2013 9:48:34 PM

frazzle

Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

I'd be more interested in if we got on as people, than if he could bankroll me for the next 50 years.!!!

(in reply to beardedknight)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Need some advice - 10/11/2013 9:54:03 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Unless you have met someone face to face they are only pixels on the internet. It's difficult enough to prove that one is honest online. Even if this person could prove in some way that he is financially able to buy that house, how could you be sure that he is willing to really do so? As you already know, talk is cheap online. Don't get your hopes up over pixels.

If he has all this money, he has the means to come to visit you and see if you are all compatible. Take your own advice. Don't believe it until you see it.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Need some advice - 10/11/2013 9:54:52 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Why are you looking to take gifts from someone who is a stranger? Are you taking on a slave in order to get a place to live? I mean if it were me, my relationships (outside of my marriage) have never in any way provided me with any substantial financial means. I expect that I'll always pay my own way in life, and if someone offered housing, I'd say no thanks and not need to see any proof that they can do what they say.

I just don't understand why you'd be at the whim of someone else who could potentially at any moment toss you out of this place. I don't know if the point is actually to have him prove himself by getting the house, as much as letting you stay in it and there isn't any proof for that.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Need some advice - 10/11/2013 10:44:26 PM

evesgrden

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline

Who offers to buy a house for someone they haven't met? Not what I call sound reasoning.

_____________________________

What you permit, you promote.

(in reply to lizi)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Need some advice - 10/12/2013 3:04:46 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Go ahead and meet him on November. See how well everyone gets along. See if he picks up the tab for dinners, etc. - if he won;t, I doubt he'd buy you a house.

And even if he CAN afford it and wants to do that for someone, it's weird that he'd offer. I suspect he's insecure about his social abilities and is throwing out money (real or otherwise) to compensate.

But if you'd meet him without the house offer, go ahead and meet him with it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to evesgrden)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Need some advice - 10/12/2013 3:54:59 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

This sounds like a fantastically long shot to me. If he's talking about buying houses before even meeting you, then his judgement is pretty frikken suspect.

The only way to know is to meet, but I'd advise you to be prepared for disappointment.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Need some advice - 10/12/2013 6:19:44 AM

beardedknight

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/31/2004
Status: offline

Thank you. I was thinking the same things. I know we have to be compatible. That's a given. He's coming for 2 weeks(unless as usual he's a flake and back out).

I never asked him to bankroll us. trust me i don't think i could stay home 24/7. As much as I would like not to work i think I would go crazy staying home all the time.

We, BK and I, have been working hard this year to get out of where we are living into a house of our own. So we are going to be in a new home next year whether or not he becomes a part of our lives or not. He just made the statement he could buy it. I have not been focusing on that in our talks so that we get to know him better. It is always IF this works out. I think we all know that he could very well show up and the chemistry isn't there. It all looks good on paper......

But I am not going to even believe he's real (even though we've seen him on cam) until he is here. Been burnt way to many times.

I am realistic in this. I know that this prob will not happen the way we all want it to. If it does and he is who he says he is and is the slave we have been looking for great. But I also know that it's a long shot.

Thank you for your time.

(in reply to crazyml)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Need some advice - 10/12/2013 6:27:11 AM

leonine

Posts: 409
Joined: 11/3/2009
From: [email protected]
Status: offline

The most glaring example I ever heard of the rule: If something sounds too good to be true, it is.

But I do know how easy it is to want to believe, because this is quite nostalgic to me. Many years ago when my late wife and I were looking for a shared sub, we had a guy writing to us who claimed to be a CEO who would hire my wife as his PA and Mistress at a ridiculous salary. We wanted to believe it so much that we ignored the fact that the "letterheads" on his letters were clearly hand drawn, but we smelt a rat when his stories about his run-ins with the Russian Mafia got too imaginative. Of course, when we finally pressed him for a meeting, he vanished like smoke.

_____________________________

Leo9

Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor

(in reply to crazyml)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Need some advice - 10/12/2013 6:51:51 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beardedknight

He just made the statement he could buy it.

Whoa! Back up.

In your first post, he said that he would be willing to buy a house for everyone.

In the above statement, he said he could afford it. HUGE difference.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to beardedknight)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Need some advice - 10/12/2013 8:55:35 AM

beardedknight

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/31/2004
Status: offline

Sorry Dark Steven he has stated both. He has siad he could afford it and that he would if this goes any further then the 2 week visit. I am still inclined as I have been to take the wait and see approach. If this is truely going to work out at all.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Need some advice - 10/12/2013 1:22:30 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beardedknight

I've posted before about our search for a forever slave.

A "forever slave"? What the heck is that? Is that like a forever wife or forever husband? Even with all the legalities involved, a look at divorce statistics would show how often that works out. From my experience in BDSM, I'd estimate that "owner/slave" dynamics are far less likely to last "until death do us part" than any marriage.

quote:

We are currently in talks with a new one with plans for him to vist in Nov.

So, you've never even met this guy and you're talking about a "forever" relationship? The time to talk about a "forever" relationship is well after a "meatspace" relationship has been established, after you've actually met the guy, after you've spent considerable time with him, after you really know HIM, not the persona he presents online.

quote:

He has said that he would be willing to buy a house for us all to start our new lives in. He says he has enough money in investments to pay house hold bills of said house. Now I have been talking to enough "slaves" to know not to belive it till I see it.
How would you ask someone to prove that they actually can do what they say they can do?

The proof is in the pudding. After you've actually met and established that real-time compatibility exists you ask to see physical proof that he has the resources and capabilities he claims to have. In other words, you do just what you said above. You believe it when you see it.

< Message edited by HarryVanWinkle -- 10/12/2013 1:24:09 PM >

(in reply to beardedknight)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Need some advice - 10/12/2013 4:05:53 PM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beardedknight

Thank you. I was thinking the same things. I know we have to be compatible. That's a given. He's coming for 2 weeks(unless as usual he's a flake and back out).

I never asked him to bankroll us. trust me i don't think i could stay home 24/7. As much as I would like not to work i think I would go crazy staying home all the time.

We, BK and I, have been working hard this year to get out of where we are living into a house of our own. So we are going to be in a new home next year whether or not he becomes a part of our lives or not. He just made the statement he could buy it. I have not been focusing on that in our talks so that we get to know him better. It is always IF this works out. I think we all know that he could very well show up and the chemistry isn't there. It all looks good on paper......

But I am not going to even believe he's real (even though we've seen him on cam) until he is here. Been burnt way to many times.

I am realistic in this. I know that this prob will not happen the way we all want it to. If it does and he is who he says he is and is the slave we have been looking for great. But I also know that it's a long shot.

Thank you for your time.

Kerbingo. You'll be fine, and I hope this one turns out to be the right one, but if he doesn't I'm sensing you'll move on and continue your search.

I wish you well.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Profile

Post #: 13