RE: To be mean or not to be (Full Version)

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Doctorscraps -> RE: To be mean or not to be (11/5/2013 9:18:19 AM)

Everyone has a differing level of mean. My mean is probably different from your mean, and your mean is probably a bit above the line of most peoples threshold.
Maybe you need to differentiate the levels of meanness that a person in particular desires.



OsideGirl -> RE: To be mean or not to be (11/5/2013 9:37:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

What you are doing is not dominating, but service topping.


^^^This.

I've never understood how people think being mean equals dominant.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: To be mean or not to be (11/5/2013 11:21:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: huskyprincess

I am a domme and I am constantly asked to be mean... the meaner the better.... so hell I let loose and reveal the inner devil.... and then I think I genuinely scare people!! then they never talk to me again?



You're not good enough at your job darling.

You're a tribute Domme, which means that the men you deal with will approach you as a "product" they shop around for. If you don't satisfy what they want, they will take their money elsewhere. Please your costumers better and they'll come back.

Additionally, there is also a large subsection of men who like to talk to findommes online specifically TO get rejected as not being worthy for them, not good enough for them, or not having enough money to please them. If you cater to these dudes by giving them a free preview of how cruel and rejecting you can be in the hopes of eliciting further payment, you'll be disappointed, because as soon as you tell them how worthless they where and how they're not worth your time you gave them exactly what they wanted, and they thus have no further need to talk to you.



Arturas -> RE: To be mean or not to be (11/5/2013 12:18:31 PM)

Thank you for starting this thread. Threads like this can lend more insight into submissives. I think Doms like myself have much to gain by an attentive and silent focus on your thread and others like it.

Arturas (and star!)



Nakhla -> RE: To be mean or not to be (11/5/2013 10:02:42 PM)


A lot of submissives ( and masochists - though there is an overlap, most definitely NOT the same thing ) have really extreme fantasies that are essentially masturbation fantasies that they don't want, and may never want. Online it's fine, no matter what Mr. or Ms. Evil says they'll do to you, it's just words on a screen. But, later on, when things get serious, when push comes to shove... suddenly whoosh, they go away. Because all of things they were begging for? They don't actually want.

I have never told a dom to let rip, though I did tell one who had some guilt issues not to feel bad being sadistic. He was prone to bouts of depression after sessions, as he felt he was fundamentally doing something bad to me. But I feel that's a rather different issue.





SerWhiteTiger -> RE: To be mean or not to be (12/7/2013 1:29:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

Everyone lies to themselves about what they want. The job of a Dom/Domme is to figure out what they really want and then get them to agree to it.



If this is true, then the dominant is also lying to themselves, and can't be trusted to decipher another's dreams while lying about his/her own.

Actually, many of us are highly self aware and mean what we say.


Highly self aware isn't perfectly self aware. Anyone who thinks they don't lie to thenselves at times likely isn't very self aware.



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