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RE: Finding a New Partner - 10/18/2013 10:03:37 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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It takes time and patience to find one...Look into the local munches though most of the time the ladies already have masters or Doms. Check the other side for subs...carefully word your profile and list your likes besides the kinky stuff.

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Post #: 21

RE: Finding a New Partner - 10/20/2013 12:50:13 PM

sheisreeds

Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
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The right relationship comes when you know who you are, and have confronted your own demons. Then the right person tends to come along no matter what kind of relationship it is.

The year after my divorce was a lengthy process of figuring myself and what really mattered. I made tons mistakes, had a shit ton of fun, cried a lot, discovered a lot, and at times was down right disturbed by my own thoughts and behavior.

I reached a point of surrender, and have been with the same amazing asshole for the past 5 years.

Also, FYI, my partner and I both came from divorces and we were both completely fucked in the head for the first year or so of our relationship. It was a lot of work do things right, and a lot of work to repair all the damage we both had.

Also, while I was connected with the BDSM community, I did not meet my partner that way. We met on a vanilla site, which mentioned nothing of my predilections, nor his, and we were just chatting about how horrible divorce is in our fine state.

BDSM did not come up until he almost bit a hole in my jeans, then we had a talk.

The other thing to keep in mind is that life happens, there is so much more to the right partner than whether or not their into BDSM, and when we are true to who we are as human beings we have a much higher likelihood of meeting the right people.

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Post #: 22

RE: Finding a New Partner - 10/22/2013 12:32:43 PM

Blankpain

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/20/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I agree with all the advice you've been given so far.

Especially the part about having a gay man or woman go shopping with you!

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Post #: 23

RE: Finding a New Partner - 10/22/2013 1:41:16 PM

Esinn

Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespot

Learn to sew and get yourself a haystack.

Not to digress. But I sew and it really has never helped me with anything - ever.

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Post #: 24

RE: Finding a New Partner - 10/22/2013 4:42:16 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Keymaster7001

My wife of 18 years has told me she wants a divorce. One of the many reasons is because I was into this lifestyle and she wasn't. Once everything is finalized and a sufficient amount of time has passed, I would like to find another woman as I enjoy being with someone. This time, however, I would like to find a submissive woman who enjoys bondage (being bound and gagged) and is willing to please me as I would want to please her. I would appreciate any advice from both Dominants and submissives on finding the right partner for what we would both be looking for. I would appreciate hearing from those who faced a similar situation where one of you was into BDSM and your then spouse wasn't.

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(You find what you look for).

Take 2 years off.

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Post #: 25

RE: Finding a New Partner - 10/25/2013 9:31:23 PM

ladyzarah

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/16/2013
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Know what it is you're looking for. Have you're house in order. For me before jumping back in, I set goals for myself, make sure my daughter was adjusting to her new life, get the divorce behind me and purchase my new house. Then I could focus on me, what I needed what I wanted in the next chapter.
Best of luck in your new journey. Kam

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Post #: 26