After being a member for a few years I thought it was finally time I participate in the forums a bit.
I was a semi-active member in the local scene for a while before taking a break. While I was there I was lucky enough to have some pretty awesome experiences so I thought I would take another shot. I guess you could say that after experiencing the community that the whole "vanilla" thing just doesn't seem to capture my attention any more.
If I had to describe myself I would say that the Daddy in me employs a firm hand but at the same time I still believe there should be a certain level of respect for each other. However the sadist in me just wants what I want - and now.
I can see how that would be a difficult situation to be in.
I think the key would be finding someone who is involved in the scene but at the same level of commitment and intensity you're comfortable with. Not everyone lives a 24/7 lifestyle so there is likely someome out there who is looking for the same things you are.