Trust

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Trust

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Introductions] >> Introduce yourself >> Trust

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Trust - 10/18/2013 5:16:13 PM

Purrringkittykat

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

Hi, I'm a submissive female and unsure of who to trust........ I've heard so many bad stories that have put the fear of Dom into me......
I receive so many emails on any given day, how to a determine who is real and who is just talking the talk?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Trust - 10/18/2013 5:31:42 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

Being wary is good, being afraid is not so good. Remember, animals can smell fear. Femsubs here can give you better advice than me, although I get Doms contacting me. A couple have been disrespectful. Most are seemingly pleasant. One accused me of being a FinDomme when I have absolutely nothing of that kind in my profile; I don't even ask for tribute. You'll encounter all kinds. Male subs who don't care who Tops them as long as it's a female, bisexual females offering to be your NSA slave maid, etc. Block & delete might become your new best friend. Think in terms of a regular vanilla dating site and what you would put up with, and how familiar would you let a total stranger get with you. Exercise your discernment accordingly. You aren't obligated to answer every message.
Best of luck, and I hope you can find a compatible partner here who will rock your world (at your own pace).

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to Purrringkittykat)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Trust - 10/18/2013 5:31:49 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I hate to say this, but most real Doms would be put off by the fact that you're already in a relationship.

Welcome to the site, and good luck to you.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Purrringkittykat)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Trust - 10/18/2013 7:52:31 PM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

Hello and welcome nice to have you join me.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to Purrringkittykat)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Trust - 10/18/2013 10:27:00 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Welcome to the discussion side of CollarMe. Your profile inspires some questions.

You say "I will not call you Master until you have earned the title". I just wondered if there was quiz they have to take, complete a quest or pass some challenge? What exactly are your criteria or is no set criteria and you can set the bar differently each person or according to your mood?

In your first paragraph your say, "Contrary to most subs, I don't want a harsh dom, I want passion and compassion," "Kick slap and fuck is not what I'm about. If your looking for a sub who enjoys severe pain then jog on." But in the forth paragraph you explain you are cheating on you your vanilla partner because he doesn't do "hurting" or "fucking roughly". Seems contrary. Either you are into fucking and not getting enough so you are cheating or . . . well, you have apparently drawn a line between rough sex & play and rougher sex & play but you don't explain where that line is. Obviously no slapping allowed but what is allowed . . . spanking or bondage? I mean, are you cheating on your vanilla partner because they won't spank and fuck you but you wouldn't cheat with a guy that would slap or fuck you? Perhaps you need to explain that because it don't think readers can see the line. How can they know if they fall in your area of interests.

And lastly, of the 486 words listing your many demands and proclamations, you never once mention what you offer a relationship. I mean, if fucking, slapping and kicking are out . . . what is in? What do you offer? You might want to mention that if you want to inspire quality replies.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Purrringkittykat)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Trust - 10/19/2013 1:13:46 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Purrringkittykat

Hi, I'm a submissive female and unsure of who to trust........ I've heard so many bad stories that have put the fear of Dom into me......
I receive so many emails on any given day, how to a determine who is real and who is just talking the talk?

Well you can't, for certain. Anyone can lie on the internet and some can do it with great skill. It will probably help weed out those who are looking for just dirty chat if you refuse to discuss sex and invite them to meet for coffee as soon as you determine that you're interested. Much harder to 'just talk the talk' face to face. After that it's good old dating. Just use the same standards and precautions you would for a vanilla date.

Truthfully, I think you may get more than your share of those folks just looking for a quick shag because of your situation. You are looking for a full relationship with emotional connection and total loyalty to you, but at the same time, you are cheating on someone and so your dom will always be in second place. They won't get you on Christmas or Valentine's Day, won't be able to show you off to his friends, won't have you around when he's sick and needs caring for. You can see that's not an attractive proposition for most people, and so you're probably not getting many of the serious enquiries you are hoping for. You will, on the other hand, attract a lot of people looking for NSA sex because they will assume that, since you are already in a relationship, quick secret encounters will suit you fine.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Purrringkittykat)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Trust - 10/19/2013 3:09:28 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Welcome to the discussion side. RS's words below could have come out of my mouth.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Welcome to the discussion side of CollarMe. Your profile inspires some questions.

You say "I will not call you Master until you have earned the title". I just wondered if there was quiz they have to take, complete a quest or pass some challenge? What exactly are your criteria or is no set criteria and you can set the bar differently each person or according to your mood?

In your first paragraph your say, "Contrary to most subs, I don't want a harsh dom, I want passion and compassion," "Kick slap and fuck is not what I'm about. If your looking for a sub who enjoys severe pain then jog on." But in the forth paragraph you explain you are cheating on you your vanilla partner because he doesn't do "hurting" or "fucking roughly". Seems contrary. Either you are into fucking and not getting enough so you are cheating or . . . well, you have apparently drawn a line between rough sex & play and rougher sex & play but you don't explain where that line is. Obviously no slapping allowed but what is allowed . . . spanking or bondage? I mean, are you cheating on your vanilla partner because they won't spank and fuck you but you wouldn't cheat with a guy that would slap or fuck you? Perhaps you need to explain that because it don't think readers can see the line. How can they know if they fall in your area of interests.

And lastly, of the 486 words listing your many demands and proclamations, you never once mention what you offer a relationship. I mean, if fucking, slapping and kicking are out . . . what is in? What do you offer? You might want to mention that if you want to inspire quality replies.

Speaking of quality replies, you admit in your profile that you are untrustworthy, b/c you're cheating. So perhaps you are transferring your own lack of trustworthiness on to those who reply to you.

In any case, starting a thread entitled trust in your situation is heavy irony indeed.

_____________________________

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Trust - 10/19/2013 6:41:40 AM

Masterlikes31

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/17/2013
Status: offline

Honestly, I would read half of your profile and move on. I can only speak on my behalf, but when you say nothing rough, I see nothing to be gained besides a headache. Sounds as though you need to be on a vanilla dating site. I would recommend re-evaluating what you are truly looking for.

_____________________________

The Master is an artist , His slave the clay, with the whip He will shape her , with humility He will mold her, Some will admire her, But only the Master, not even the slave, will know her true beauty, for her true beauty lies in her love for her Master.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Trust - 10/19/2013 6:44:47 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Welcome to the discussion side. RS's words below could have come out of my mouth.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Welcome to the discussion side of CollarMe. Your profile inspires some questions.

You say "I will not call you Master until you have earned the title". I just wondered if there was quiz they have to take, complete a quest or pass some challenge? What exactly are your criteria or is no set criteria and you can set the bar differently each person or according to your mood?

In your first paragraph your say, "Contrary to most subs, I don't want a harsh dom, I want passion and compassion," "Kick slap and fuck is not what I'm about. If your looking for a sub who enjoys severe pain then jog on." But in the forth paragraph you explain you are cheating on you your vanilla partner because he doesn't do "hurting" or "fucking roughly". Seems contrary. Either you are into fucking and not getting enough so you are cheating or . . . well, you have apparently drawn a line between rough sex & play and rougher sex & play but you don't explain where that line is. Obviously no slapping allowed but what is allowed . . . spanking or bondage? I mean, are you cheating on your vanilla partner because they won't spank and fuck you but you wouldn't cheat with a guy that would slap or fuck you? Perhaps you need to explain that because it don't think readers can see the line. How can they know if they fall in your area of interests.

And lastly, of the 486 words listing your many demands and proclamations, you never once mention what you offer a relationship. I mean, if fucking, slapping and kicking are out . . . what is in? What do you offer? You might want to mention that if you want to inspire quality replies.

Speaking of quality replies, you admit in your profile that you are untrustworthy, b/c you're cheating. So perhaps you are transferring your own lack of trustworthiness on to those who reply to you.

In any case, starting a thread entitled trust in your situation is heavy irony indeed.

I see I still don't need to be here.........RS and Chatte covered my thoughts already.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Profile

Post #: 9