Financial Domination: Does it Exist?

Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (Full Version)

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LadySonelle -> Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/17/2004 5:06:02 PM)
I was commenting on another board and thought of something... Yes we have all heard of Financial Slavery. But... is it real? I am intersted in finding out when you (collective noun) all heard of it first, and what you heard. I first heard of it about six months or a year ago, but only the vaguest outlines. Then suddenly it mushroomed. Does that experience tally with others/ I find it intriguing, from a sociological stance, that the ratio seems exactly (or nearly so) the opposite of traditional BDSM, there seem to be 100 Dommes (very few men get into it) for every Financial sub! Usually that's the exact opposite with Dominant Women being besieged ( and beseeched) at parties, online, etc. So far, while My interest has been primarily tangential... I am intrigued by the idea that it truly is not an actual fetish, but rather a "marketing ploy" on the part of some Domme... and others caught on! All comments are welcome! How much have I personally made from Financial Slavery? Not one thin dime! :) In fact, what with starting a web page and mailoings etc, I'm probably around $200.00 in the hole. shrug but it's fun, nonetheless and I'm definitely getting interest in other areas and feeding My love of BDSM at the same time. But I would bet you anything that 99% of all Financial Dommes are having the same exact experience! Comments? Lady Sonelle

BeachMystress -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/17/2004 5:33:32 PM)
There is such a thing as a financial fetish. It is done usually one on one with a 24/7 live in subs. It means the woman holds the purse strings, pays the subs bills and gives him an allowance. Occasionally you will have a sub who is part of a stable, contribute to his Domme's well being. That is more in the line of a tribute or gift rather than financial domination. What you're talking about I call money Domme. There are some men who are interested in that.. the upkeep and such of an unobtainable woman. Those men are rare. Anyone I know who has gone the "money Domme" route has ended up losing money. I do not know if there are some out there who are actually making money at it (or exagerating and saying they are making tons of money) and that is what keeps women trying to enter that field, or (more likely) there is always someone looking to make easy money. And yes, I have noticed a huge upswing in the number of women saying they are into financial domination in the past year. Many of those women don't seem to have BDSM experience. One of them wrote to me asking how to make subs follow thru on promised gifts... I told her I had no clue since I've never been interested in money domination. (gets a mental visual of a woman wielding a whip on a poor dollar bill)

proudsub -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/17/2004 5:37:45 PM)
Here are some earlier threads that you might enjoy: ....serving women financially money slaves...... getting paid for it .....financial fetishes

INSIDEYOURMIND -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/17/2004 5:41:10 PM)
Beach Mystress, I could not agree more, I think that all it really is just another form of prostitution, and the poor guy doesn't even get screwed, well, not literally! Like the famous gun quote, you will have to pry my cold dead fingers from my penis, before I will ever pay for sex!

ShadeDiva -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/17/2004 9:36:58 PM)
I believe it started making it's first appearances on the net about 6-7 years ago along the lines of what it seems to be touted as now. I personally came into contact with it about 4½ years ago and was intrigued by it, but then that is true of me and most fetishes I run across - learning about and understanding all fetishes is my biggest fetish by far. Most of what you see is pretty shallow - and has very little BDSM in it or to it. I think though it could be a very powerful combination - IF it is done like say it would be done within a TPE - the control of the finances is not meant to line one's pocket but to manage it, make it grow, save appropriately, and pay what needs to be paid. I do think it is a valid fetish - but one that has been horribly twisted and bent into an abusive and nasty creation but those that have only a very shallow and almost vanilla perspectove on what BDSM is and the dynamics behind it. Very few people (and I say people because there are a growing number of males touting themselves as dominants and doing the same thing) that I've run across while learning about this seem to have much of a real grasp or any tanigble experience or knowledge about BFDSM outside of chirping a few key phrases or whatnot. But then, my stance on this and my opinion is generally well known, and I really do sit on the fence in a variety of ways on this one. I think it could be a powerful addition to an already deep and existing healthy BDSM relationship - but not if the chick just wants free stuff and money so she doesn't have to work. I just find that pretty, well, icky. ~ShadeDiva

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/17/2004 9:42:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: INSIDEYOURMIND Beach Mystress, I could not agree more, I think that all it really is just another form of prostitution, and the poor guy doesn't even get screwed, well, not literally! Like the famous gun quote, you will have to pry my cold dead fingers from my penis, before I will ever pay for sex! I actually got up and walked away from My computer so that I could compose Myself before composing this. Although I agree that there are many who identify themselves as Money Dommes, when in fact they are just little ladies on the internet who think they have found an easy way to make some extra cash, these ladies are not really Dommes and usually have no clue about BDSM or the D/s lifestyle. Put them in a room with a sub and his fantasy and they wouldn't know where to begin. But that is not Me, and that is not others who truly do actively participate in this lifestyle IRL. I suspect there are 100 "Money Dommes" to every true "money slave" because there are lots of ladies who aren't Dommes at all, and there are not that many men with this kink. So I guess We all get a bad name? I can't say that I have seen an upswing or not on this, as I honestly haven't paid attention. It isn't My big thing, per se, in the lifestyle, so I haven't noticed one way or the other. I will defer to the Ladies who seem to have noticed this, and take their word on it. Financial Domination is a real kink. There are well-heeled men, and some not so well-heeled, married or otherwise, who simply want to give the dollars up in exchange for literally nothing else. Sometimes they will ask for pictures, or want to chat online. Sometimes not. It makes them feel good, it satisfies a need, often it humiliates them to know they can't help themselves and have to open their wallets. Why would I turn them down? I am not actively seeking them out and I do not represent Myself as anything I am not. Perhaps they wish to buy a gift one time, perhaps they wish to spend a longer time satisfying this kink with Me. Then they get over it or move on to another Domme. At times I receive things and I don't even know they are going to arrive at the door. Why look a gift horse in the mouth? I do not rely on this type of Domination for My income. Maybe there are some who have their spiel so fine tuned they can. More power to them, I say. Just less for Me, since I am not actively pushing for it. When a boy comes to live with Me, I am in control of all the finances. If a female sub lives with her Master and is financially supported by him while in a relationship that satisfies their BDSM kinks, does that then make her a prostitute? If someone wants to gift Me, why does that make Me a prostitute? Why is there so little tolerance for this kink? Just as BeachMystress stated "(gets a mental visual of a woman wielding a whip on a poor dollar bill)" which made Me laugh and laugh, btw, I can get a mental image of the vanilla man next door crossing his legs and wondering why any male would want his balls crushed, or the vanilla lady next door who is wondering why your female companion allows you to beat or flog her. Of course they do not understand BDSM, and probably wouldn't approve of it, and the woman most certainly does not know that this female is your sub or your slave. I do not tell any boy who writes to Me that they have to send money or buy Me a gift to "prove" their loyalty or sincerity. And I know that is such a typical line that many of these ladies use. It really does amaze Me that proudsub has pulled the links from previous threads about this same topic, and there are still people who participate in these forums regularly but continue to hold the same judgemental beliefs. It is your right to disagree. But please don't call Me a prostitute. This type of bashing has come up over and over, and it has been referred to as "not a real kink" and about "those stupid men", and caused by "money grubbing, ill-educated, moronic bitches", and of course "prostitutes", "prostitution" and "fake dommes". Sigh 'Nuf said.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/17/2004 11:47:32 PM)
I think FD does exist, that sometimes it is used inappropriately, but... What I cannot understand is "why is it okay for a lady to own a man, call him a slave, choose his clothing/food/shelter, and even his breathing pattern sometimes", but she becomes a hideous prostitute if she takes his money too? Don't most wives do that without even so much as a little extra fun offering for the poor bastard who married her? I've known a lot of Vanila women who've gotten bills paid/expensive gifts from boyfriends (boyfriends are my relatives), are they whores/prostitutes?; and what about women who make more money than their male partners, and therefore are responsible for how their home, and her partner/children are dressed/fed /live (is he a gigolo for accepting?)... I think it's unfair to be so harsh on people who do financially dominate. In fact I think it is natural a woman would want to dominate completely, including financial, because it has LONG been understood that he who holds the money holds the power; so if there Is power exchange, than why not money too? I understand it becomes complicated when he's simply being used financially; but who died and left anyone judge of what level use of a sub/slave is okay, if he/she is an adult, and enters financial submission of his/her own free will? I think it is for each person to decide what he/she wants out of a relationship (monogamous/sexual/Fetish/BDSM,, etc), Not so much for us to judde, is it??? My $.02.... Good night all, Ms M Pardon the misspellings........

GoddessJules -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/18/2004 6:54:10 AM)
I'm just going to bring up a few points here. FD is a fetish. . .or let's use the word "kink" for some. So it doesn't have to be put into a D/s context. . .just as someone who is purely a sadist, or purely a crossdresser doesn't have to. A sadist doesn't have to want a "lovey dovey" relationship with the person they bottom. . .or care about their mental well being et al. They are there to get their "kink" satisfied. The same as someone who crossdresses. Sure these people may attend BDSM functions, play parties etc. . .but just as most of the people here are trying to put the square peg of financial domination into the round hole of a D/s relationship. It's like any other fetish that people introduce into their D/s relationship. If an owner wants their slave wearing diapers. . .so be it. If she wants her slave eating out of a dog bowl. . .who cares? If she wants to smear her shit all over his body. . .big deal. Does FD bring in money? Sure it does. The amount that it brings totally depends on the "money domme." Not to mention that there is a multitude of ways that FD can apply. . .from the casual gift giving and purchases on wishlists. . .to those that "tithe" their income. . .to the monthly bill payers. There are time that I find random tributes when I go to my email from guys that say something along the lines of: "I enjoy making the lives of women comfortable and I felt the need to send you my money. I do not expect any contact. . .the giving is reward in and of itself." Granted, it doesn't happen everyday. . .or what I would call often. . .but boys like that appear out of the woodwork about ever other month or so. If taking money and gifts from boys makes me a money domme. . .then I guess I'll wear that hat. I have no problems doing so. I'll even go out on a limb and say that I expect to be lavished with gifts. It would be great if I had a BDSM tree in the back yard and I could just pluck a pair of boots when I wanted. . or find a nice, ripe latex outfit ready for me to pick when I go check the tree out. . .but I don't. I only bring that up because all of my boys enjoy me in it as well. The BIGGEST point as to why I demand money/gifts is that I'm NOT Burger King and if someone thinks that this is "have-it-your-way" domination. . .they have come to the wrong place. I am very aware of the reluctance on the part of many to give up some or all financial control. That makes me just expect it more so. It is just like the obedience, chastity, loyalty that they give me. If it comes down to "You can control my sexual organ, what I wear, how I talk, and my general disposition but you may NOT touch my wallet". . .they can go find someone else. It is that simple. And I lay my expectations out from jump street. . .so it isn't like I'm fooling anyone. I'm sure that many will still have a problem with the concept. Cool. I won't lose any sleep over it. My accounts, wardrobe, and household goodies still get replenished on a regular basis with ot without "community" approval. Jules

LadySonelle -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/18/2004 12:55:42 PM)
I find all the comments here intriguing. As to the comments about prostitution, frankly, I may be wired differently than most, but I hardly find the concept insulting. Someone once commented (when I thold her I did phone sex work) that"Well, you're little more than a whore!" I shrugged and said "And that bothers you, why, exactly?" Am I a whore? according to fundamentalists, yes. But then to them everything's sinful. According to prostitutes I know, I am not. I'm a voice on the line. Sort of a verbal encourager. Financial Domination may be a subset of BDSM and I agree with most here, it's rare. I have found a sweet sub who lives in the state who is a craftsman! He's poor. So I've told him that if he desires to become My slave, which is a distinct possibility, he is to make Me some beautiful bondage toys. If he does them really well, I may have him make them for sale. He will be repaid for materials, but the rest will be split with Me and a savings account for his future. Time will tell if this arrangement works out. I have decided to make a general rule for scenes with subs... that they do not need to pay Me (I'm not a pro-Domme) but that they will bring two toys to the first session with Me: One that will be used on them and is theirs to keep, such as a buttplug, dildo, etc, and one which is a gift to Me, a paddle, nipple clamps, a bag of clothespins, a collar etc. In this way, I replenish My toybag (decimated by several moves) and also remain affordable to the slave. And while I would be delighted to find a wealthy "money slave" (and would do wuite a bit for him, in terms of personal attention!) I'm not holding My breath. :) What would I offer a Money Slave in return for his hard earned wealth? Personal sessions, household slavery 24/7 a definite possibility, and not to just one Woman, either! My submissive would also be his supervisor. Slavery to two Women at once, along with becoming My uniformed chauffeur etc. If I could afford to do that now for a 24/7 slave, I would, but the reality of it is that it's not going to happen anytime soon. So I'll stay with sessions and online until things work differently. I would love nothing better than a 24/7, but that will come. Thanks for everyone's input! I've learned quite a bit on this site! Lady Sonelle

ShadeDiva -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/18/2004 6:50:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadySonelle Thanks for everyone's input! I've learned quite a bit on this site! Told ya you would like it! lol This site rocks. Yup yup yup. If I ever meet the people behind it I'm gonna want to HUG 'em damnit, LOL! ~ShadeDiva

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Financial Domination: Does it Exist? (11/19/2004 10:44:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadySonelle I find all the comments here intriguing. As to the comments about prostitution, frankly, I may be wired differently than most, but I hardly find the concept insulting. Someone once commented (when I thold her I did phone sex work) that"Well, you're little more than a whore!" I shrugged and said "And that bothers you, why, exactly?" Am I a whore? according to fundamentalists, yes. But then to them everything's sinful. According to prostitutes I know, I am not. I'm a voice on the line. Sort of a verbal encourager. Lady Sonelle, I have done phone at times also, and it can certainly help pay the bills. And if one wants to call Me a prostitute for that, I guess they have that right. Maybe I am, and if I am okay with it, it's nobody else's business. Jules put it very well. All the boys expect to see Us dressed to kill, and have all the toys, but they are not willing to pay for it, or else that makes Us prostitutes? hmmm...interesting concept. But FD is something in My mind is completely different. It is the tone and the bashing about this that bothers Me. Any woman who practices FD is a "prostitute" or "whore". It is not even acceptable or honest prostitution for these folks. It is "lower than low" and this attitude that comes through the monitor is unacceptable to Me. Now for the 99 little ladies who are out there ripping people off, they are not Dommes, but I also don't consider them prostitutes. They are scam artists. Plain and simple. What I hear (or read) when these types of responses are made is that it is a deliberate rip off and deserves no respect or tolerance at all. I simply say, if someone chooses to gift Me, so be it. That, in itself, would not make Me a prostitute. Personally, I think prostitution should be legalized. Might keep many of the girls who choose to trade sex for money a bit safer.

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