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RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/28/2013 8:41:42 AM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff
but purposely posted one that was not provocative,

Oh honey. There's long hair fetish, nose/snot fetish, eyeball fetish, "natural look" fetish. Here's a well-known fetish diagram.

https://lh3.ggpht.com/_Fp9VsxckuPw/SUJj0RXF9AI/AAAAAAAAACw/ELzoXo_JZek/s1600-h/fetishkp8.gif

Most of these are rare, but it's an absolute guarantee that, no matter what photo of yourself you post, you will be "provoking" someone who views it.

I'm not saying the "right" thing to do is to take down your pics. I think it's better than mass-deleting your messages, yes. But the best move, it seems to me, would be to stop feeling overwhelmed and accept (even enjoy!) the fact that there's an awful lot of strange in the world, because, hell, you're probably pretty strange yourself.



RM

Lol. I just spit my tea all ver my iPad.
Yes. Although I prefer "quirkily kinky " to strange.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/28/2013 1:55:23 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		You can tell. when you sign in, if your profile has been looked at. If you get an email from someone who looked at said profile, then it may be worth looking at. At least they have an idea of what you want, and who you are, not just going with the photo. People who write to everyone who has a nice photo without knowing anything about them would seem to be the waste of time.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/28/2013 2:17:05 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

All very thoughtful and helpful advice. Much appreciated.
I do have one question.
@RedMagic1 suggested i take down my photo and make it secondary to a not photo image. I am not quite sure of the reasoning behind this? To dissuade to pic stalkers??


Don't take your photo down. You are very pretty and why not show that?

You will know who you think is worth talking to. Believe me, there is no advice for this, just use your own mind just as you would in all of life.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/28/2013 2:55:59 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

All very thoughtful and helpful advice. Much appreciated.
I do have one question.
@RedMagic1 suggested i take down my photo and make it secondary to a not photo image. I am not quite sure of the reasoning behind this? To dissuade to pic stalkers??


Don't take your photo down. You are very pretty and why not show that?

You will know who you think is worth talking to. Believe me, there is no advice for this, just use your own mind just as you would in all of life.


There is no question that many are sending emails because of your picture. Your attractive and that is going to a huge draw to a lot idiot fantasies.... So taking down the pic will eliminate some of the emails... But not all.

As I think about it, your pic is a red herring so to speak. Those that have potential will say more about what share in your profile than comment on your picture. You can use that. Make a decent profile that shares some good thoughts. See who pays attention to that and less that what you look like.

Assuming of course you don't want to be a trophy girl. But a woman appreciated for who she is in all aspects.





< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 10/28/2013 2:57:47 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/28/2013 3:25:47 PM   
sheisreeds


Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline 		Go in and set the bulk mail filters in your profile, that can help a lot. You can filter out all those messages from people 1000 miles away. set age ranges, what roles you want in your primary inbox, etc.

The messages don't get deleted, but essentially are moved to a spam folder.

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in


You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/28/2013 3:37:43 PM   
DanielleofMists


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		When I first signed up to this site a few months ago I was absolutely bombarded with idiotic messages from people who clearly didn't read my profile. It dies off after a couple months, at least it did for me. Now I'll get maybe a couple completely ridiculous messages a week. I'm not new to kink sites and it had been 7+ years since I started a new profile, I had forgotten about the kind who "welcome" new profiles.

Edited: meant as a reply to Blonderfluff

< Message edited by DanielleofMists -- 10/28/2013 3:40:59 PM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/28/2013 5:02:39 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Thanks all!!
I'm taking everything here, and using the journal, the filters, and my sense of humor! It's much better. Lol.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to DanielleofMists)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/28/2013 6:11:16 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I may have missed it, but if they don't elicit an immediate ick response, then you could read their profile before responding.

Beyond that, you need to be absolutely clear about your must haves and your deal breakers. So if a guy has something as a must have that for you is a deal breaker, then you know you're not compatible.

I don't find perfect diction and syntax a necessity. But I wanted a guy who was more of an engineer type than an English type. And I figured the engineer types will make some mistakes, won't be as good at proof reading and so on.

If you want someone who is very facile with words, then do select for that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/29/2013 1:06:29 PM   
Domnotlooking


Posts: 249
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline 		You're a very beautiful blonde woman who expresses herself well.

So I say the world is your oyster and you should just gather, sort, and cull your many zany responses and have a little laugh about it all.

Excuse me, I'm off to feel sorry for Warren Buffet about his finances now.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/29/2013 1:12:37 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domnotlooking
.

Excuse me, I'm off to feel sorry for Warren Buffet about his finances now.

Lol. I THINK there was a compliment in there!!!

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to Domnotlooking)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/29/2013 8:08:55 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

All very thoughtful and helpful advice. Much appreciated.
I do have one question.
@RedMagic1 suggested i take down my photo and make it secondary to a not photo image. I am not quite sure of the reasoning behind this? To dissuade to pic stalkers??


No. Many of the "trollers" will not email anyone who does not have a photo for fear...GASP....that you may be fat or something!! You will get much less mail without a pic. I started with no pic and put one up 2 weeks later & got SLAMMED. Quite a few commented on the fact that they had read my profile before but "did not respond (to profiles without pics)as a rule.

Mail Controls can also be your best friend.... You can opt to only get emails from people in your local area, restrict to just doms/subs or are outside of your set age range.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Where do i strike a balance ... - 10/29/2013 8:57:03 PM   
youthinkso121


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/18/2013
Status: offline 		Pictures make no difference. My profile had no pic, no typed content, and I still got idiotic messages.

The funniest, from Doms warning me about the rest!!!!

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 32
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