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orangeslave -> new slave (10/26/2013 1:36:59 PM)
im having an issue submitting what would or advice could you give for me to give in and do it . I really want to do this

stef -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 1:41:11 PM)
Without knowing what the issue is, how can anyone offer relevant advice?

anniezz338 -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 1:45:53 PM)
Sounds like me trying to bungee jump. What are your motives for wanting to and what keeps you from jumping?

OsideGirl -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 1:50:10 PM)
This OP is so vague there really isn't any advice we can give.

Blonderfluff -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 1:56:05 PM)
Um. They all already said what I was thinking when I read it. Seriously???? Um. Buy my new book. "How to submit For Dummies"

blondeboi65 -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 2:05:42 PM)
Ask yourself a couple of questions.. the first one being.. are you having problems being submissive? Is it the frame of mind.. next is.. are you having problems submitting to a particular person?

DanielleofMists -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 2:41:43 PM)
It shouldn't be that difficult. Maybe you're not with a person who you are comfortable or naturally inclined to submit to, so why force it? Or maybe you liked the idea of what you thought being submissive was but are finding that it's not what you thought it was?

DesFIP -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 2:57:16 PM)
Or maybe what he's asking is against your moral code and therefore you aren't compatible with him.

TigressLily -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 4:18:26 PM)
[sm=welcome.gif] Greetings, glad to have you on the forum side with your first post. May I ask you why you are calling yourself a "slave" instead of "sub"? You aren't currently in a relationship, so you have no Master yet to submit to. You are questioning your ability to submit, so I take it you are mentally psyching yourself up in advance for when you find yourself faced with this situation. Or have you already encountered snags with a Dom in the past where things didn't work out? This makes a big difference. Your profile says nothing about previous experience nor have you disclosed any Hard Limits. If you are having submission issues ahead of time, then you aren't ready to become a sub, much less a slave. Perhaps it's because you're jumping the gun that you are having an issue. You are either ready to be submissive or you're not in terms of the basic concept of submission. Next step is to find the right guy to inspire your submission, and that may be the critical factor. Seeing as to how you're seeking "extreme humiliation, pain, chastity," you aren't looking merely to be Topped (although you might need to ease into exploring your kinks as a "bottom" if you're inexperienced); you would need to have that D/s dynamic in place, or else chastity in particular isn't going to work (not on a casual basis). Until you can describe what exactly are your issues in better detail, there isn't much more to be said.

littlewonder -> RE: new slave (10/26/2013 8:41:23 PM)
You either do it or don't do it. It's not difficult. Just do what you are told. How hard is that? If you can't do simple things like follow a command then you should not be in this type of relationship. No one wants to constantly nag and argue and force someone to submit. Yeah it sounds like fun for a little bit but I don't know of anyone on the planet who wants to do that 24/7.

Bedmonster -> RE: new slave (10/27/2013 3:17:07 AM)
I really wanna submit but I don't, please HALP / thread You should submit, man I hope this answer was as enlightening as your question was OP

Grael -> RE: new slave (11/1/2013 6:52:48 AM)
Biggest problem I have always seen? You have to know the other person... If you don't trust someone how can you expect to let yourself submit to them?

TigressLily -> RE: new slave (11/2/2013 4:55:02 AM)
Are you moving too fast with someone, OP? quote: ORIGINAL: Grael Biggest problem I have always seen? You have to know the other person... If you don't trust someone how can you expect to let yourself submit to them? D/s is a relationship between a Dominant and his/her submissive. It is not role-playing. A play partner in a BDSM scene is your Top, not your Master. Topping & bottoming are not the same as Dominance & submission because the former is an activity, the latter is a state of being.

DarkSteven -> RE: new slave (11/2/2013 5:23:36 AM)
I read your profile. 1. You need someone to submit TO. Without him, you cannot submit. So spend your time finding someone instead of worrying. 2. Quit calling yourself a slave. That's too much pressure on you. Start off being a sub, and work into slavery over a year or so after the relationship begins. 3. It's not all about kinkplay.

EasyE -> RE: new slave (11/2/2013 5:35:27 AM)
With the right person you will submit because you want to and feel safe doing it. Sure there may be apprehension the very first time. As you learn to trust the people you know in the lifestyle should be a non-issue.

ResidentSadist -> RE: new slave (11/2/2013 9:37:45 AM)
If you feel hesitation, do what they do in the army when asked to jump out of an airplane, count it off . . . "1, 2, 3, jump"

SWDesertDom -> RE: new slave (11/2/2013 3:29:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist If you feel hesitation, do what they do in the army when asked to jump out of an airplane, count it off . . . "1, 2, 3, jump" I was a groundpounder (er, treadhead), but we were always told there was someone there to toss you out if you didn't want to jump.

SirScorpius -> RE: new slave (11/4/2013 6:32:44 PM)
To me, the hesitation to submit may be a sign that submission may not be for you. You were vague, so its unclear as to what your motivations and desires were. Why did you initially decide to try submission. Was this a desire within yourself? Or was it a request from a lover? To me, and the submissive's I've encountered, submission to them was exciting.. Given with free will and the utmost desire to want to please.

Toysinbabeland -> RE: new slave (11/4/2013 7:09:12 PM)
if yes is not the answer right away, then don't do it.

kiwisub12 -> RE: new slave (11/5/2013 4:06:56 AM)
The initial impetus for me to submit was sexual hotness. The whole idea made me horny. Eight years down the road, and three years out of a five year live-in D/s relationship, submission still makes me horny. If you are not turned on (or some equally strong emotion) with the idea and reality of submission, then what are you hoping to get out of it? There has to be some really positive emotion in it for you. Having done this for a while, I have found other emotions that ensure my submission over and above horniness - like emotional safety. I have never trusted anyone the way I trust my sweetie - and that comes from emotional transparency, which comes from trusting him ridiculously. There are so many positive things in this style of living. If this really is for you, then when you meet "the One", you won't have any trouble submitting. Oh - and if all you are worrying about is submitting to pain play, remember that all that is negotiable. If there is something you don't want to do, then don't do it. You are allowed limits.

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