RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 11:38:43 AM)

Fast reply to the OP:

If you like to look at women dressed somewhat provocatively and have fantasies about them, why not look at pictures of them or look at ones on TV or movies? Then you do not risk making them feel uncomfortable, and you get your pleasure as well.

If this is not good enough for you, then you may want to ask yourself if there is some pleasure in the risk of making them aware of your watching them.

Then you should ask yourself, if they notice you and are uncomfortable by your looking, is that fair to them and a price you are willing to pay to objectify them.

Akasha



RedMagic1 -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 11:50:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype
Had he not went into incredibly creepy detail regarding his personal thoughts, I'm not so sure others would have called him out as creepy or needing therapy.  

I agree. The way he describes things lacks awareness of certain social cues that are especially important to women. So he gives off a "sociopath" vibe to a lot of people. I hear it more as a "never learned how to socialize with the fairer sex" vibe, and I'm happy to internet-diagnose a possibility of high-functioning Asperger's. Even if I'm just being ridiculous there, I know enough science and math people to know some who don't understand basic aspects of human interaction despite their high intelligence.

OP:

One thing you might be missing is that women dress for other women far more often than they dress for other men. For a lot of women, they will get male attention no matter what they wear, the end period. So they tune out male attention, as you might tune out white noise. It's just there constantly, part of the background, as has been since they were 13 or so. On a normal day, most women dress to look "good," not to look "sexy." This means that they want to avoid making fashion mistakes, or looking in a way that other women (or they themselves) would think they aren't even trying. Remember, the name of the show and the book is "The What Not to Wear Girls," not, "The What Not to Wear Horny Men Who Want to Sneak a Peek."

Also, talk sometime to a parent trying to buy non-revealing clothes for an 11-year-old girl. It's really hard to find items of clothing that don't "look terrible eww" but also don't show much skin. Even adult women have this issue. They can either shop at Talbot's and look like Frumpzilla, or shop most other places and look like attention whores.



Ilyrium -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 2:23:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality
When I checked out your profile I was surprised to see you were 50.
I expected you to be about 20 or 22.


You should have seen me when I was 20!

Ten thousand times hornier than I am now.

Being Italian, at 50 I'm probably as horny as any German will ever get in their lifetime!

:)



Ilyrium -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 2:31:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
why not look at pictures of them or look at ones on TV or movies? Then you do not risk making them feel uncomfortable, and you get your pleasure as well.


This is a very good question. One that I hadn't overtly considered, but, thinking about it, I'm not sure if it's the same thing.

Porn is of "some" interest. Not much. But it's nice to see various techniques. I learn from seeing different ways to please someone, for example. And, I learn new terms, new positions, new ways of doing things.

But, porn is, after all, a two-dimensional medium. Hardly filled with tastes and warmth and softness, nor emotions (well, they all scream like the classic idea of Asians but they're faking it, so it loses its appeal upon recognition of that fact).

No, porn, whether photographic or videographic, is devoid of warmth, taste, sensation, and without any chance of social interaction whatsoever.

Good question though ...



JeffBC -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 2:36:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ilyrium
My question is hard to pose in words but what has always amazed me is that the moment I see any woman's breasts, I just want to hold them in my hands, fondle them, and suckle on them - yet - I doubt many women feel the same way about cocks.

Let's be clear what you are talking about here. This has nothing to do with sex drive or your desire to fondle female bodies. This is objectification plain & simple. To you, female humans are not humans, they are sex objects. No, I don't tend to see other people that way. I would treat even my enemies better than that.



Ilyrium -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 2:36:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
women dress for other women far more often than they dress for other men.


That, I've heard many times.
I find it harder to believe than many things I've heard about women though. For example, I noticed a young blonde gal at the Barnes and Noble today while I was picking up my order whose boobs were hanging out and her pants were purposefully ripped such that the family in front of me must have been embarrassed for their kids. Somehow, I doubt that was for the other ladies.

Since she had to be under 20, it wasn't for me (and I had much too much to do today to worry about that anyway), but, I certainly doubt it was for the other ladies, and, I doubt it was the only set of clothes she could find either.



RedMagic1 -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 2:48:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ilyrium
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
women dress for other women far more often than they dress for other men.

That, I've heard many times.
I find it harder to believe than many things I've heard about women though. For example, I noticed a young blonde gal at the Barnes and Noble today while I was picking up my order whose boobs were hanging out and her pants were purposefully ripped such that the family in front of me must have been embarrassed for their kids. Somehow, I doubt that was for the other ladies.

Since she had to be under 20, it wasn't for me (and I had much too much to do today to worry about that anyway), but, I certainly doubt it was for the other ladies, and, I doubt it was the only set of clothes she could find either.

I'm not going to defend the point strenuously. It's a generalization, so there will be exceptions. Besides, sometimes generally accepted theories are wrong, so you shouldn't believe it just because a lot of people tell you it's true.

I will say, though, that the vast majority of women I've talked to in my life mean something very different from "looking good" than men do. Men's inner fantasy monologue when seeing a woman tends to be a lot more action-oriented. Even predatory, biologically speaking -- and I don't mean anything moral one way or the other when using that word. Maybe saying "men's fantasies tend to be a lot more in your face" would be better.

Point being, women might dress for attention, but I think very few understand the effect they have on some men's inner dialogue. That might be why fathers tend to be much more possessive of daughters than mothers are: the fathers know "what men are really like." So the girl in the bookstore might have dressed to turn heads, but she almost certainly didn't dress intending to cause men to think about her for hours. From her perspective, a guy gives her attention for a few seconds, then moves out of her life forever, and she probably assumes that he stops thinking about her forever after a few seconds as well.



KYsissy -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 3:06:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

If you want to keep enjoying all of that eye candy, then stop punishing women who dress that way...by leering at them long enough to make them feel creepy.

I developed early, was young, reasonably thin, had long blonde hair and some double D's. No matter how much I kept myself well covered, I was leered at, objectified, etc., until I wanted to be buried in clothes and finally treated like a normal person. So that someone would look into my eyes when talking with me, and not be talking at my breasts. Guys who looked me over like I was only a piece of meat scared the HELL out of me. I got too much attention from my hair being down and started keeping it tightly braided so that I'd be safer when walking home from work. Loose jeans, ankle length skirts, blouses buttoned up to my throat and zero makeup made no difference, the wolf whistles, cat calls, and "Hey baby!!!" made my teen and twenties hard to get through. Random men would frotter me on busses or cop a feel of my breasts and there was nothing I could do about it.

I will repeat what other women have said, casting my vote. This is creepy. There is a big difference between appreciation...and staring at them while you daydream about f*cking them.


When i was going to college, i was in the library studying with a pretty large black woman. At one point, this stunning blonde woman walked through. She waswearing very baggy overalls. My study partner remarked, " mmm mmm mmm, God sure does know who to give it to, if I looked like that I would be walking around buck naked all the time."

The very high probability that she had the same experiences as you had never crossed my mind until i read your post. Now I have three sisters, I have heard the stories if being groped on a packed train, the idiots in the club who just don't underatand what fuck off means.

Anyway, to the OP, dude, chill. A quick appreciative glance does no harm and once in a long while may make some gal feel good. Key word. Quick. When yiu start following and obsessing, you have entered creeper territory.



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 5:22:23 PM)

Y'all are missing the most important point:

A couple of ladies have said that this makes them think twice about dressing sexy. Having to worry about whether your skirt is too short should never be an answer ladies.

You should also never worry about whether your heels are too high or your top is cut too low. I say this as a matter of fact not opinion. Because I like to look out the corner of my eye at women dressed provocatively too; I'm just a little more circumspect about it.

Actually, what really floats my boat is when a girl I'm with nudges me and whispers in my ear, "look at her." She knows she's getting some good loving that night.

Have I said to much?



AAkasha -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/5/2013 6:02:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ilyrium


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
why not look at pictures of them or look at ones on TV or movies? Then you do not risk making them feel uncomfortable, and you get your pleasure as well.


This is a very good question. One that I hadn't overtly considered, but, thinking about it, I'm not sure if it's the same thing.

Porn is of "some" interest. Not much. But it's nice to see various techniques. I learn from seeing different ways to please someone, for example. And, I learn new terms, new positions, new ways of doing things.

But, porn is, after all, a two-dimensional medium. Hardly filled with tastes and warmth and softness, nor emotions (well, they all scream like the classic idea of Asians but they're faking it, so it loses its appeal upon recognition of that fact).

No, porn, whether photographic or videographic, is devoid of warmth, taste, sensation, and without any chance of social interaction whatsoever.

Good question though ...



But when you look at women dressed in a way you consider revealing and you sexualize them, that is different from watching porn to learn to please someone.

If you want to look at someone to sexualize them, you can do that with porn just as easy, and that person agreed to that. They signed up for it.

If you are saying you prefer to do it with a person in real life because it gives you the "chances of social interaction" then you are indicating that you do approach these women and interact with them in some ways to enhance your sexual game with them. In what ways? How does this usual conclude? Is this fair or appropriate to the women? What are the ages of the women? You are 50, are the women your age? Are the women half your age? Is this an age-appropriate behavior? If you had a daughter, would you feel this is appropriate for a man of your age to view her, interact with her?

I have a niece of 20 who performs publicly in a revealing outfit with a knockout body. I see the men around this age starting at her body (leering). I know what they are thinking. They are shameless about it. Sure, they may say that the fact she wears an outfit like that, as lowcut, with her ass showing, and the fact that she smiles and tosses her hair, and makes sexually suggestive faces to the beat of the music must mean she welcomes their fantasies. If they could legally masturbate while standing there, they would. Most of them are in their 40s-60s.

She calls them "creepers." She loves dancing, but says the worst part of her jobs is having to walk around and socialize with "the creepers." Still, she does it not to be rude. A lot of women don't turn around and walk away not to be rude. A lot of women will answer questions and carry on a minimal of conversation because they were raised with a certain amount of social grace to figure out how much conversation to endure before making an exit, like the one at the coffee grinder that had to at least until her coffee was done.

Edit: On a sidenote, I no longer attend a lot of fetish functions because of "creepers" and I think many women feel the same way. Older guys, mostly, who really don't care that leering (not appreciative glances, mind you) and inappropriate, long, unappreciative conversations even after you have made numerous polite exits, and staring at your body instead of your eyes, makes for a not fun time.

Akasha



Ilyrium -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/6/2013 4:11:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
But when you look at women dressed in a way you consider revealing and you sexualize them, that is different from watching porn to learn to please someone.


I wonder.

I hadn't asked THAT question, but, remember, we're talking about women who are overtly showing too much skin without any need on my part to go to any great lengths to see it.

And, secondly, I didn't "sexualize" women. Trust me. God did (if you believe in that stuff). Or evolution did (if you believe in that other stuff). And, if the truth be looked in the face, WOMEN did (or they wouldn't dress that way).

Men didn't sexualize women.

Certainly no man today, born 4 million years after women were created, and 4 billion years after life was created (give or take a billion or two for mammals to develop sexually dimorphic enhanced characteristics) could possibly have "sexualized" women any more than God/Evolution did in the first place.

We ARE talking about sexual characteristics being boldly flaunted in public.

To be clear, we're talking specifically about boobs. Nipples clear as day. Well into the upper warmer thigh and after the curve of the buns. And, let's not forget, we're talking explicit baby-making crotch, either distinctively pantied, or not.

Sorry to be blunt, but, we're not talking about the way my Italian grandma dressed forevermore after the funeral as she sat in the park with the other forevermore black-clad widowers.

To be even more clear, we're not talking about someone wearing a business suit where the skirt line is well below the upper thigh, or even jeans, which women paradoxically seem to find more comfortable when they're spray painted on, since jeans are worn for comfort, and not for business dress which is worn for looks.

There's a reason, for example, that a woman's business suit probably doesn't cause her boobs to hang out or her having to constantly hike her skirt down so that her lack of panties isn't patently evident to all in the room. Just as a man's business suit is either functional (e.g., fireman, policeman, scuba diver, etc.) or purely neutral (e.g., suit and tie where the only skin showing are the wrists, hands, neck, and face) and nothing is tight except the long black patterned socks.

The equation, after deep thought and introspection about the ideas proposed in this thread, seems to be that the women who do this, are calculating that they'll get paid in attention for their efforts.

Yet, what that attention is, they wish to fully and wholly control, such that the THOUGHTS of the people giving that brief attention, are at least as controlled as their thoughts.

Seems like an incongruous equation, to me; but, the reason I asked wasn't to change the equation one iota. It was to understand what women were thinking.

Thanks!



needlesandpins -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/6/2013 6:02:55 AM)

in that case i'll tell you again straight out that I think you are an over sexualised creep who does go out of his way to leer at women. My nipples will stick out even through a padded bra as they are rather large, however that doesn't mean they are on show for such as you. I have no idea where the hell you are going to actually be able to see women's nipples, but especially in the numbers you seem to be talking about.

for you to see any of what you are talking about you are not being covert about your glances at all. you are overly sexualising women in a bad way. take what we have said and back off the poor souls who have to put up with you.

needles



thishereboi -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/6/2013 8:35:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ilyrium


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
women dress for other women far more often than they dress for other men.


That, I've heard many times.
I find it harder to believe than many things I've heard about women though. For example, I noticed a young blonde gal at the Barnes and Noble today while I was picking up my order whose boobs were hanging out and her pants were purposefully ripped such that the family in front of me must have been embarrassed for their kids. Somehow, I doubt that was for the other ladies.

Since she had to be under 20, it wasn't for me (and I had much too much to do today to worry about that anyway), but, I certainly doubt it was for the other ladies, and, I doubt it was the only set of clothes she could find either.



I am having trouble picturing this. You say her pants were purposefully ripped. Exactly what do you mean? Did they have the slits cut in that kids seem to think is fashionable or did you mean she actually ripped her pants so her pink parts would show?



VideoAdminRho -> RE: How do men and women treat the same situation (diferently)? (11/6/2013 11:00:37 AM)

This thread is locked for review.



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