first sub experience

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debrose -> first sub experience (10/29/2013 4:50:27 PM)
I am looking for my first realtime experience as a sub. I am not looking for a ltr but want to be trained. I was wondering what to expect in that training. I have done some reading, but it is always better to get information from those who know.

OsideGirl -> RE: first sub experience (10/29/2013 5:16:21 PM)
Trained as what? A Cordon Bleu Chef? A massage therapist? An artist? Unless you're going into leather society or something similar, training is a euphemism for "tie you up, beat you and fuck you". There is no universal "training" and every Dominant is going to expect something different, so you can't possibly train for it. You're clearly very, very new. Rather than getting involved with a Dominant, I would suggest that you get out to your local community and find an experienced female submissive that is willing to be your mentor.

lizi -> RE: first sub experience (10/29/2013 5:19:46 PM)
Well, you're the one who is kind of in control of what happens to you. What are you interested in? Ask for that. Make sure the man knows where your limits are and respects them. There isn't a set screenplay to what people do, it's whatever the two of them are interested in. Spanking? Bondage? Role play? Wax? When you say you want to be trained, what do you want to learn? What do you envision that training to be?

OsideGirl -> RE: first sub experience (10/29/2013 5:23:41 PM)
Just as a side note: Her profile says she's married and her husband will be watching her "training".

littlewonder -> RE: first sub experience (10/29/2013 5:33:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: debrose I am looking for my first realtime experience as a sub. I am not looking for a ltr but want to be trained. I was wondering what to expect in that training. I have done some reading, but it is always better to get information from those who know. You get what you want to get out of it. There is no one way. It's whatever two people agree to.

KnightofMists -> RE: first sub experience (10/29/2013 5:51:34 PM)
Sub experience? Training? I suspect you are talking of bottoming in a BDSM scene......

DesFIP -> RE: first sub experience (10/29/2013 8:31:33 PM)
Well, the first thing he taught me was how he likes his tea. But somehow I doubt that's what the op is talking about.

petitespot -> RE: first sub experience (10/29/2013 8:45:11 PM)
I always thought you got pissed on and then fucked in the first training session.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 12:03:00 AM)
Oh no, we did the pissing in session three. Session one was mostly taken up with the formalities - where the fire exits are, what time lunch was, making sure you displayed your parking permit. OP - What the others have said. We can't tell you what you'll do in your 'training' because it's for you and the dominant to negotiate. Is this someone you're hoping to have a long term relationship with? Or just kinky sessions? Neither is wrong, but if you're submitting in a long term relationship you might find yourself being 'trained' to make his coffee the right way or wear that shade of eyeshadow he likes. Those sorts of things don't tend to come up in kinky play, and it doesn't take much training to be tied up and spanked. Get to a BDSM club and watch what others do. That will help you.

kiwisub12 -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 4:10:15 AM)
OP - in my first bdsm relationship the training consisted of him telling me his rules, and how he liked his coffee. Anyone telling you there is more to it than learning His/her rules is playing to pornlife. Which isn't necessarily bad, but reality is is that if you are a sentient being, and so is he/her, then training is redundant. If you can't get the rules with maybe one repartition, then there is a lack there. The fun of a bdsm relationship is what we do together, consentually. Its been said before but bears repeating. A bdsm relationship is JUST LIKE a vanilla relationship - with fun bits added. If there is something going on that you wouldn't tolerate from a vanilla individual, then don't tolerate it from a dom. When the playing is done, you have to have a relationship with the person, so you need to connect on more than one level. If a full blown relationship isn't in the cards because you are married, find a group nearby, attend munches and parties and find a play partner. You can have a satisfying evening with others around and need give it no more thought than gratitude. Have fun.

petitespot -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 4:26:30 AM)
Pissing is definitely the first. Bareback, no lube anal rape is the second.

myotherself -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 5:29:35 AM)
dammit, I've been doing it back-asswards all these years [:D]

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 10:30:48 AM)
debrose, they tend to be quite [very] sarcastic about training on this board, I wouldn't pay their comments too much attention. Most Doms will try basic things out on a sub's first session - whether she likes following orders, how she might react to a spanking, perhaps try cuffing her wrists or ankles, or putting a collar on her to see if she likes it. If all is going well, they might graduate to using a paddle tawse or cane on you, but not so hard (or it shouldn't be too hard, anyway - if he's really going for it, I'd question his ability to introduce you to this in a positive way). My first training session was on the phone, and it was rather rude, so I won't go into detail - it involved a little bit of pain, a little bit of pleasure and a little bit of being told what to wear and do. But my first session in real life included most of the things I have put above. The best bit about it was that when we went for dinner afterwards, not only was I ravenous, but sitting on a sore ass for the first time was an unexpectedly enjoyable event! Then afterwards, he had me start writing a journal, so he could see how it was for me, and so I could reflect on the new things I was experiencing. Ultimately, don't aim for too much in the beginning, just try to pick up the basics and make sure you're comfortable with everything that's happening. Have fun! trouble x

petitespot -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 10:57:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12 debrose, they tend to be quite [very] sarcastic about training on this board, I wouldn't pay their comments too much attention. No....actually. I got pissed on and fucked the first time and ass raped the second. YMMV.

DesFIP -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 12:00:46 PM)
I got tied up and fucked the first meet. Spanking on the second. But he's never had an urge to piss on me. We're into bondage, not s & m, so stuff here was focused on that. OP, you get to decide what you're interested in and then talk to the dominant in question if he shares your interests or not. You aren't sitting on a shelf, waiting to be taken down and played with and then returned to the store. You need to be active, not passive, in determining what you want. Because otherwise there's not a chance in hell that you'll get it.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 4:56:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: debrose I am not looking for a ltr but want to be trained. I was wondering what to expect in that training. I have done some reading, but it is always better to get information from those who know. IMO, there are several ways to look at your question. Firstly, from a safety standpoint, I would suggest that you not be so eager to announce to the world that you are a newbie looking for training. Sadly, there are far too many faux Doms out there who prey on newbies. To them, training a newbie sub means blowjobs on demand, and not much more. You specifically state that you're not looking for a LTR, but IMO, "training" works best when done within the confines of a LTR. That relationship doesn't necessarily have to be marriage, but it should at least be with a long-term play partner. The reason that I think long-term is better is that everyone is unique. Each Dom/Domme will have different requirements. So you need to be with someone long enough to learn his/her particular requirements, and then practice until you get to the point where you can fulfill the majority of their request within their desired parameters. With enough time, you'll even be able to anticipate their wants/needs, and provide them without even being asked. But it's hard for me to provide a more accurate answer without knowing what area you would like to be trained in. If you share what you areas you fantasize about being trained in, it will help us to give you better advice. Do you imagine being an obedient domestic servant? Do you fantasize about being a slutty cum receptacle? Do you imagine being tied up and teased? Or is pain more your thing? Help us to help you. -Roch

DesFIP -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 5:52:04 PM)
Is your husband going to watch so he can learn how to top you? Because in that case, you folks would do better to join your local community. Make friends who can top you while teaching your husband to do it. Take workshops together.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: first sub experience (10/30/2013 7:20:08 PM)
~FRing it~ My question to you is what exactly are you looking to be trained to do? Each dominant is going to be different. There is no manual we purchase at the time we take someone on, no one size fits all, no one true way. And in all reality, it shouldn't ever be cookie cutter in the first place. You are going to have different things that make you tick than what makes my guy tick. I can teach you how I personally like things done, which could prove to be the exact opposite what another dominant wants.

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