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First 3sum - 10/29/2013 6:10:03 PM   
teasedsubmissive


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/4/2013
Status: offline 		We are a couple looking to have our first 3sum. This is becoming more difficult then we thought to find a sub girl to join us. Any advice?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: First 3sum - 10/29/2013 6:40:10 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Women can pretty much get laid no matter what and there are a million people after the women that are willing to be part of a triad.

Threesome implies that it's a casual sexual thing, which most of the women on this site aren't looking for.

So, to be blunt, what you're offering isn't unique or interesting to most of the women here. (Not to mention subitting to someone you barely know)

If you're just looking for a sexual interaction you're better off at your local dive bar or Craigslist.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to teasedsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: First 3sum - 10/29/2013 7:06:37 PM   
Ilyrium


Posts: 189
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
If you're just looking for a sexual interaction you're better off at your local dive bar or Craigslist.


I concur.

I have a very good lady friend, who wanted to be with a lady a few years ago, and be safe at the same time. She was too shy to post to Craigslist, so I created the ad, and posted a picture of her (face blacked out of course, and with her permission), and we got so many offers that we didn't know what to do with them.

Some people couldn't read (like the guys who wanted in on the threesome), but, we DID have a few interactions with lovely women who turned out nicely. A few flaked on us, but, the one that we're still great friends with actually was one of the initial flakes, and, it turns out, she's on fetlife and other sites, so, we ended up hooking up with her on fetlife through the vanilla Craigslist, which is an ironic twist.

What seemed to work well though was to VOICE VERIFY from the start.

I recommend you make sure the ad says you'll voice verify with the ladies talking to each other. In my case, my lady friend was shy, so, we used a speakerphone, so that I could break up the pregnant pauses, but, the key thing is that the LADIES must feel comfortable together. At least that was MY experience. Once that happened, all I had to do was pay for the nicest hotel I could find (since neither wanted to compromise the home for a Craigslist initial encounter).

In fact, we even tried something similar with a few couples, but, I we found that the couples always wanted HER and not me (which was OK with me, but, that wasn't what she was after). BTW, she was fifteen years younger than I, and, well, my best asset is my brain, but, not my body - so - I too would have gone for her over me any day.

So, be careful for what you wish for. :)
Good luck!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: First 3sum - 10/29/2013 7:09:47 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teasedsubmissive
Any advice?

I took a woman to the spa today and paid for a deep tissue massage for her gymnastics injuries. Do you do stuff like that? For most women, even "vanilla" ones, if you make her feel pampered and important, she's much more likely to turn into a ravenous slut.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to teasedsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: First 3sum - 10/29/2013 8:38:23 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		We need a woman that will enjoy three things.

1. Me.
2. My submissive.
3. The relationship we have.

If she's not interested in all three, it won't work.

Generally, we run across women at events and munches. If we think we could be interested, we'll invite her over. Once she sees the two of us interact, we'll see how things go. We're both on our fifties and find that there are young women that are attracted to us as somewhat-parental figures.

We need to enjoy vanilla time with them for things to work out.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: First 3sum - 10/29/2013 8:48:25 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Be patient. Look to be friends first. Make sure your relationship with your partner is strong.

My personal experience, from both sides of this, is that women looking for a threesome tend to be looking for a stable friends-with-benefits kind of experience. Not a serious life partnership (which involves breaking a lot of social mores), but definitely not a one-night stand with near-strangers.

For you guys to appeal to them, you need to be trustworthy. Don't rush it, be a friend. You and your partner need to have a stable, loving relationship - no sane woman is going to want to get caught in the middle of a fight or (worse) some jealous drama. The two ladies need to talk and flirt and want each other. Treat her to dinner.

Even if you do everything right, don't be surprised if you're only having a threesome a few times a year. Them's the breaks.

(in reply to teasedsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: First 3sum - 10/29/2013 8:52:19 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Be patient. Don't rush it to happen.... I would also suggest you get out to swing clubs and other events and just meet people. It's pretty difficult to find women that want to join a couple for a simple fling.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to teasedsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: First 3sum - 10/30/2013 9:59:29 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

If you're just looking for a sexual interaction you're better off at your local dive bar or Craigslist.


Yup, I've had threesomes with women I met in the strangest places, including an ashram and an on-ramp, but never online. We met, established rapport, had a few drinks, and voila!

Where in Florida are you? I used to live in South Florida and SDC.com (Swing Date Club) had lots of parties at fun places. All the swingers I know are BDSM-friendly, if not BDSM practitioners.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: First 3sum - 10/30/2013 10:13:55 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Oh... I should add... When you find the right fishing hole you will need a stick to beat them off! ;)

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: First 3sum - 10/30/2013 1:01:51 PM   
Blankpain


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/20/2010
Status: offline 		I wonder if you find a good ashram, whether you need to beat them away?

What's an ashram anyway?

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: First 3sum - 10/30/2013 1:34:47 PM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blankpain

I wonder if you find a good ashram, whether you need to beat them away?

What's an ashram anyway?


I want to go to an Ashram, will you come?

_____________________________

Let's break the law

(in reply to Blankpain)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: First 3sum - 10/30/2013 2:47:27 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teasedsubmissive

We are a couple looking to have our first 3sum. This is becoming more difficult then we thought to find a sub girl to join us. Any advice?



Rent a "pro" for a couple of hours

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to teasedsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: First 3sum - 10/30/2013 4:23:43 PM   
teasedsubmissive


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/4/2013
Status: offline
quote:



Where in Florida are you? I used to live in South Florida and SDC.com (Swing Date Club) had lots of parties at fun places. All the swingers I know are BDSM-friendly, if not BDSM practitioners.


Orlando.

< Message edited by teasedsubmissive -- 10/30/2013 4:24:23 PM >

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: First 3sum - 11/1/2013 7:27:18 AM   
Snitch


Posts: 105
Joined: 1/27/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teasedsubmissive
looking to have our first 3sum


Why do people spell it 3sum when it's three some (or threesome)?

(in reply to teasedsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: First 3sum - 11/1/2013 7:41:39 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Heck, I can find action in Orlando, and I live half a world away! There is a really strong community there (including sub females) there. Google is your friend.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Snitch)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: First 3sum - 11/1/2013 8:14:31 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Heck, I can find action in Orlando, and I live half a world away! There is a really strong community there (including sub females) there. Google is your friend.



Yeah but I think you have an insider that hooks you up to those! kind of people ;)

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: First 3sum - 11/1/2013 5:58:45 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teasedsubmissive

We are a couple looking to have our first 3sum. This is becoming more difficult then we thought to find a sub girl to join us. Any advice?


You can't be serious.

(in reply to teasedsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: First 3sum - 11/3/2013 2:38:09 AM   
leonine


Posts: 409
Joined: 11/3/2009
From: [email protected]
Status: offline 		On poly lists you will encounter the term "unicorn" applied to a single woman who wants a scene or relationship with a couple. Because such a creature is the subject of much legend, sought and hunted everywhere, and so rare that some doubt it exists at all.

Good luck with your unicorn hunt.

_____________________________

Leo9


Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 18
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