TigressLily
Posts: 436
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OttersSwim is right about what do you have to bring to the table other than being just another "do-me" sub, particularly in light of your attached status. Twice in your profile you say "must stay discreet" where you've listed yourself as bisexual. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that you're either married or living with a female SO. This is highly problematic, because unless your wife/girlfriend can verify consent, no Dom with any shred of integrity will touch you.
quote:
ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
In reading your profile, your need for "discretion" implies that there is a person or persons in your life who are not aware of your desires down this path, nor your intent to act upon them.
This frankly is going to make things difficult for you to pursue this with many as relationships (even play relationships) are founded on trust and people may perceive you as being compromised in that area....
Easy to type, but never easy to do in real life. I speak from ongoing personal experience in coming to terms with gender in my own life, and relationships.
"Discretion" most often ends in tears and lawyers. Nothing that you are or desire is bad or wrong. Now, that does not mean that everyone has to love it or accept it in their relationship with you. So that may be a hard path, but really it will be essential to resolve so you can be authentic and actually pursue what you desire - both within yourself, and externally to the world to find that Master you profess to desire.
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And what will you bring to the table in such a relationship? ME! or SEX! will not be an acceptable answer to the vast majority - again, bills, jobs, living, taxes, etc. What will you bring to invest in a future relationship?
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You call yourself Sarah, which is something I left off earlier. Naming yourself is an important step; however, that is a Master/Mistress' prerogative, usually to select 1 out of 3 choices. A sissy friend of mine wanted to be renamed because he didn't want to be reminded of his former (cruel) Mistress from 2 years ago who had given him a girl's name. I came up with 3 names for him, and I'm a good namer, even if I do say so myself. (All my real pets have had awesome names, as well as the pet names I like to use.) He liked them but came up with his own unisex name in the interim (which sounded sorry to me, but not being his Mistress, I kept my opinion to myself). Nevertheless, there are bigger issues at hand than your sissification:
-- Re Your Profile, in two places you have given out your Yahoo EM & YIM account names. This is a violation of ToS and will need to be removed.
-- You classified yourself as a slave. You have only been vanilla-collared by your wife/girlfriend. You don't have a Master yet, and the likelihood of finding one is pretty slim. (Getting someone to casually Top you is not the same, nor would it be an ongoing arrangement in most cases.) Despite those who will tell you there is no difference between calling yourself a sub or a slave, you are not a slave. You have to either be in or have had prior experience in a D/s-M/s relationship, where it is expected for you to be more than a "part time sex slave" as you've specified. This is separate from engaging in BDSM scenes.
-- You state "I would like to become a sissy bimbo for a master." Good luck with that, given all of the above. You also say you have a "bad gag reflex" and want to "learn to deep throat." You'd better work on that--most Masters who would be interested in a sissy bimbo will expect skilled oral servicing (if not all of them across the board).
-- This is the main issue you have to resolve within yourself: "as of now once I cum I have an intense feeling of shame, remorse, regret and embarrassment and it takes a while for it to go away. I suppose it can be said that I am a bottom with submissive tendencies and would like to have them pulled out as someones sissy slut." As long as you are being deceitful with yourself and with your current partner, while fantasizing about a pie-in-the-sky magical Master to descend and whisk you away to bimbo-slut sissihood, you aren't dealing with your real inner issues or being your Authentic Self. Best of luck with that, too.
_____________________________
That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2
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