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Keeping submissive feeling - 10/29/2013 10:24:18 PM

IronSub

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Joined: 8/21/2013
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I have had sub and slave urges for some time, mostly to be a sissy. I have suppressed them but now have decided to act. My problem is the submissive feeling comes and goes as well as the urge to be a sissy fem. This is especially true after I cum but I dont want it to be that way. What can I do to train, brainwash, convince myself to keep the feeling always or at will when needed?

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RE: Keeping submissive feeling - 10/30/2013 6:29:07 AM

DarkSteven

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You cannot. Being sub is a part of a relationship. If you find someone you feel submissive to, there you are. But you're trying to be submissive without a Dom.

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RE: Keeping submissive feeling - 10/30/2013 6:46:44 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Pretty much what DS said.

You can't submit without someone to submit to. All you have without it are kinky fantasies, which naturally go away after you cum. When you actually have a dominant partner, you may feel differently. On the other hand, you may not, and submission might be a bedroom only activity (which is not, contrary to popular belief, less good or meaningful that being submissive outside the bedroom, just different).

If you want to work on this until you get a partner, then spend some time being honest with yourself. Keep a journal of your feelings. Work out how you imagine life would be if you had a dominant, then put it in a drawer, go rub one out, come back and see if you think it's realistic or not. Talk to lots of people who are doing this. Do NOT make any major physical or lifestyle changes whilst horny.

I'm in a 24/7 D/s relationship, and sometimes I still don't have the 'submissive feelings'. I deal with it by just putting on my big girl pants and getting on with it, because it's what I agreed to. That's what submission is - doing the will of another. Sometimes it won't coincide with what you want to do. If it just happens sometimes, you just work through it. If it's happening all the time I refer you to my earlier point - perhaps submission is just a sex thing for you, which is fine.

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RE: Keeping submissive feeling - 10/30/2013 7:07:33 AM

sunshinemiss

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Due respect to the above two posters, I think there are ways to do this. There was a good discussion on this thread. oftentimes, single submissive people will talk about getting ready for the relationship. There are lots of things to do/consider. Are you taking care of your body / finances / home / career / schooling in a way that would make someone proud to be with you? If not, you may want to look at that and start acting "as if" you are with someone. Are you giving your time and energy to make the world better? If not, perhaps you might consider that. While these aren't "submission" per se, it is about creating a more submissive mindset than doing whatever you like. Being disciplined in your life can't hurt, and be having your life / act together, you will be more attractive for a partner.

Best wishes,
sunshine

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RE: Keeping submissive feeling - 10/30/2013 9:23:58 AM

orgasmdenial12

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Joined: 9/18/2012
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This is very common in submissives - unfortunately, the only real answer is - if denial makes you feel submissive, and you want to keep feeling submissive, then you'll have to carry on with the denial.

The same thing happens to me. I find that ongoing orgasm control helps me maintain some of the submissive feeling but the best thing has simply been learning to accept long term denial (up to ten months). Fortunately for you, lots of Dommes enjoy denying a male submissive, so if you do decide to do that, you are likely to find a partner who shares your kink.

There are lots of denial communities on the web, search some out and ask them your question - you are likely to find answers similar to what I have posted here.

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RE: Keeping submissive feeling - 10/30/2013 2:15:35 PM

lilcracker

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why should you change? Find a bedroom Dom....or a Top...

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RE: Keeping submissive feeling - 10/30/2013 7:59:43 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

why should you change? Find a bedroom Dom....or a Top...

This. It sounds like you're more of a bottom or a bedroom sub. There's no problems with that. It is what it is. Just be honest about it and don't try to pretend to be someone you're not.

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