Time wasters - how to weed them out faster?

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Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/30/2013 10:13:41 PM

felicityfleece

Posts: 13
Joined: 10/27/2013
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Ok, so I've had some recent experience with MANY, MANY potential subs approaching me and simply ending up wasting my damn time.

Some I don't care that they turned out to be flakes and I never heard from them again, but a couple of them I REALLY thought would be excellent and then...nothing. Never got another email even though I thought we were doing so well. It's highly annoying.

I assume this is very common but have any experienced dommes worked out how to somehow know if a potential sub is going to flake?

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/30/2013 10:19:17 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
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I have worked out a way in which I weed out people that I believe are not serious about wiitwd, but I don't intend to tell you how I do it. Honestly, nothing worth doing is simple or done quickly. As you do you will learn (to quote Yoda)

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(in reply to felicityfleece)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/30/2013 10:31:49 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

You joined a few days ago. You are on the fresh meat list for the next however many days (not sure how many it is though), so every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a hardon is going to come out of the woodwork to take a run at you. It's the nature of things. You get what you pay for here. Since you paid nothing, expect everything...from the HNG to the Nigerian scammer to the broken who couldn't get laid in a women's prison if he had a handful of pardons.

It will eventually die down, but time wasters are just part of the experience no matter how long you are here

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/30/2013 10:47:11 PM

felicityfleece

Posts: 13
Joined: 10/27/2013
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Thank you! And yes, it's completely true, what both of you said.

I shall perservere.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/30/2013 10:50:23 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Here. You might find some wonderful tips on this thread that was titled "Findom Problems." I'm sure you'll enjoy this link. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4456159

(I can't be the only one who finds this funny.)

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to felicityfleece)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/30/2013 10:58:29 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

It will eventually die down, but time wasters are just part of the experience no matter how long you are here

Not only that, but it works both ways. Many male subs are worried about getting scammed, so they'll be testing you. Then there are always those just looking for a cheap thrill, which can come in the form of sub, switch or Dom, whose highest priority is to make sure they're interacting with an ACTUAL FEMALE and not another guy behind the computer screen masquerading as a woman.

You and I are on entirely different wavelengths (not to make better than or less than comparisons), so I can't really help you out. My primary concerns are twofold: That he's not a married f*ckhead or otherwise involved in a steady relationship. Second, that he is actually submissive, not conflicted, and can think for himself without trying to buck me (or act out passive-aggressively) because this is just a wanking game he's deluded himself into playing. Homey don't play that.

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/31/2013 12:35:36 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Here. You might find some wonderful tips on this thread that was titled "Findom Problems." I'm sure you'll enjoy this link. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4456159

(I can't be the only one who finds this funny.)

You aren't.

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/31/2013 2:15:57 AM

MissKittyDeVine

Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
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Timewasters go with the territory. There are those who object to fin/pro dommes, and attempt to wind them up. I don't allow them to bother me. Plus some do not follow through for the reasons mentioned above. So be it.

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/31/2013 8:42:26 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

There is no formula to weed out fakes and time wasters.

Has it occurred to you that a "Domme" who is as inexperienced as you appear to be might be considered to be a "time waster" by an experienced sub? You really don't seem to know what you're doing. But you're interacting with potential subs as though you do. Don't you see the irony in that?

Pot, meet kettle.

(in reply to felicityfleece)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 10/31/2013 12:31:49 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: felicityfleece
have any experienced dommes worked out how to somehow know if a potential sub is going to flake?

I've actually devised a way that often works, but I won't tell. Why rob you of the learning experience we all had/have to go through?

NBMG

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 11/2/2013 4:25:18 PM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
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Unfortunately, the lady members here, will always get a never ending deluge of crank messages & time wasters, it's par for the course however long you're here for, I'm afraid. I can tell you that you will find a couple of diamonds amongst the garbage, I promise.

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(in reply to felicityfleece)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 11/2/2013 4:36:15 PM

AliceInUndieLand

Posts: 30
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

The way I see it, Domination is a buyer's market ...
There are simply an awful lot of Pro-Mistresses out there... and how is a poor old sub' to decide who to visit .. ?
What's wrong with a polite tentative enquiry to see how the land lies...
BDSM is all about psychology and personality - and how to assess that except by some kind of speculative contact.. ?
If an enquiry doesn't turn into a booking ... does that make me a time-waster ... -no, in my book it makes me a discerning client ..
And of course.. some plainly inexpereinced Dommes - try and exploit the market by charging the highest profressional fee..
Girls.. ! if you're just starting out... have the professionalism to set your fee lower... -

(in reply to garyFLR)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 11/6/2013 8:27:01 PM

angeldmort

Posts: 54
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

It's funny but here lately I've been getting more financial submission offers (along with some slowly drawn out admissions of "I don't really want to be sub or feel this way, but I can't stop" for some reason) and I've started handing them a demand that they donate online to my pet local charity "in an amount they feel will impress me" and sending me a copy of the receipt. They either do, or make excuses, or disappear. Can you guess which one I continue to talk to?

Then again, I'm really intolerant of a lot of things. You're going to get a ton of email simply because you are female. You know you can hover over the mail in your list and it will give you the first couple sentences, right? If they don't mention something specific to MY profile, something that they couldn't send to someone else, I delete it without opening. They are usually just one email they copy and paste to every Domme they see online. Figure, the worm that will crawl to anyone isn't crawling to you because you're awesome. He's crawling because you were the only one who answered - everyone else ignored him.

(in reply to AliceInUndieLand)

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RE: Time wasters - how to weed them out faster? - 11/6/2013 8:57:18 PM

MistressDarkArt