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Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/2/2013 7:52:59 AM

NastyJ

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/10/2009
From: Lyons, Ga
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While at a play party or lifestyle event and I want to play with a Mistress what would be the proper way for me to ask her can she play with me?

< Message edited by NastyJ -- 11/2/2013 8:25:31 AM >

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RE: Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/2/2013 7:56:02 AM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
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Do not refer to said Dom as mistress. He may not like that.

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RE: Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/2/2013 8:46:57 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Second vote for not calling somebody "Mistress" without a qualifying name if you are not in a dynamic with them. That's not just a leather thing. Many people don't like it. Since I'm already on the subject, skip all of the stereotypical crap that is porn based. Don't call her "Mistress," you are not a lowly worm, etc, etc.

The next thing you want to do is know your audience. Some people play casually. Others only play with those they are in a relationship with or those that they have an established play arrangement. Take the time to learn which is which.

As for the actual asking, be polite. It's kind of like asking somebody to dance. "Would you like to play" or "Would you be interested in having a scene together" works well enough. Remember to take the answer you receive with acceptance of her decision. There may be another time that you'll want to ask and she's going to remember what happened on a prior occasion.

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RE: Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/2/2013 9:53:50 AM

DarkSteven

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You don't. You walk up to her, say hello, and introduce yourself. Chat for five or ten minutes. After that, if the two of you are getting along well, ask.

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RE: Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/2/2013 9:59:25 AM

SpyUnderCover

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Joined: 6/21/2010
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I like to be approached initially with conversation unrelated to playing, just like one might at any other kind of party or social setting. "Hi, my name is _____. Pretty moon out tonight, isn't it? This is my first time here, how about you ... ?" Then after the conversation has warmed up you can ask her if she'd like to play. And I agree with LadyPact to be gracious if the invitation is turned down.

Spy

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RE: Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/2/2013 11:40:46 AM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Second vote for not calling somebody "Mistress" without a qualifying name if you are not in a dynamic with them. That's not just a leather thing. Many people don't like it.

Hell, I hate it even though my screen name has 'mistress' in it. As I've explained before on the boards, it has nothing to do with lifestyle association (unless someone considers the occult 'lifestyle').

I vote for a polite, vanilla approach. What would you say/do if you saw a woman you'd like to get to know in a library or restaurant?

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RE: Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/2/2013 4:13:41 PM

garyFLR

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What DarkSteven said.

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RE: Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/2/2013 6:41:21 PM

Dreamless

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"Hey, how are you, I'm so and so, I prefer to be called x, how about you? Nice weather etc." Blah blah small talk blah do you have things in common? Great! Then ask once you've made a connection. Or hey, why do you want to play with her? "Hey, I saw your demo on flogging, it was really great, I'd love to talk with you more about it." Whatever, find something other than "hey let's get down and dirty" as an intro, have a conversation, and if you connect, then ask--hell, maybe she'll ask first if there's a good connect.

(in reply to garyFLR)

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RE: Asking a Mistress to play with me. - 11/3/2013 2:08:12 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyJ

While at a play party or lifestyle event and I want to play with a Mistress what would be the proper way for me to ask her can she play with me?

The fact that you asked this question shows that you probably try to be polite and respectful. Your odds of someone playing with you are good. Good luck!

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